Restless Mom

2009-04-14T16:23:00.000-07:00

To blog or not to blog...that is the question!

I have been trying to decide again whether this blog is more trouble than it's worth. It stresses me out when I don't post for awhile, and it detracts from my other hobbies...like scrapbooking and facebook. So, I decided I was going to change the tone and continue. Rather than using this as an online scrapbook, pressuring myself to record everything, I will use it as an online journal of sorts...chronicling my thoughts (sometimes boring, sometimes borderline psychotic) about being a working mother and wife. Lord knows, I could use an outlet.

There's nothing in particular going on right now. I'm just trying to enjoy every minute I can with Courtney as her remaining "toddler" years slowly fade off into the sunset. It's been making me very sad. But strangely, each age just keeps becoming more and more enjoyable. I genuinely enjoy her company. She's a full fledged little person. I am in awe of her silly little personality, intelligence and raw generosity of spirit. Every day, she says something that sends me on into hysterics, but I can't show her that I'm laughing. That makes her very mad!

We've definitely decided that one little one at home is enough for us. I get constantly harrassed about it, but I really don't care. We have so many more reasons why NOT to have another child. I can't believe that some people actually think that having a second child to be a playmate for the first is a valid reason to further procreate. Ummmm....no! We just have this feeling that our family is complete. I asked Courtney if she wanted a little brother or sister and she said yes. Then I told her that she would have to share her room and her toys and she very quickly changed her mind! Plus, there's no guarantee that siblings will remain close as they get older. My brother and I aren't especially close. Sure, we played together as kids, but he got on my nerves more than anything. He still does, as a matter of fact...

So, I will try to record my random thoughts and the cute, funny things that Court does on a daily basis and see where it takes us!

2008-10-23T10:53:00.001-07:00

Update on my little girl!

I realized I hadn't updated her favorites in quite a long time and they have changed a lot! so here goes...

Favorite Color: Pink...she is in a seriously "girly" phase
Favorite show/character: Hannah Montana, Phineas and Ferb, Little Einsteins, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, My Friends Tigger and Pooh
Favorite movie: Underdog, Sleeping Beauty
Favorite animal: cat...she continues to carry around a little kitty everywhere she goes. We have to buy them in bulk because she goes through them so fast!
Favorite drink : Cranberry Juice
Favorite meal: macaroni and cheese
Favorite snack: "cheesy" popcorn, cherry tomatoes, strawberries, yogurt
Favorite pasttimes: putting her MANY dolls to bed with blankets on her bedroom floor, singing and dancing, going out to dinner, going shopping
Favorite song: Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis, Anything by Hannah Montana, Jonas Brothers or the High School Musical cast
Favorite toy: any of her dolls, her princess dressup stuff, that darn kitty cat!
Favorite phrases: "actually..." all her sentences start with that word right now. "That's what I said!" or "That's what I was going to say" She's going through a know it all stage at the moment
What makes her happiest: both of her parents being home. Laying on the couch with me and watching one of her programs...
What makes her mad: anything when she first wakes up...she is not a morning person! Tickling her when she hasn't specifically asked you to, or copying her in any way. She hates that!

She's my little bundle of personality and I adore her!

2008-10-22T10:58:00.000-07:00

Court's first trip to Disneyland!

Wow, I am getting really bad at this. Trying to keep up with Facebook, photo albums, an actual paper scrapbook and blogging is getting to be a bit much. I feel like every moment of my child's life is documented. Good thing I'm only having one, or else I'd be burnt out by the time my second child came around!

But there has been some exciting stuff going on, specifically our first family trip to Disneyland! I always said I would wait until she was 5 years old, so she could get the most out of it, but I used it as a "bargaining" tool during potty training and we had to keep our end of the bargain.

Needless to say, we were all looking forward to it for months. We booked the hotel and airfare forever ago. We built up Court's anticipation and couldn't wait to see Disneyland again through our precious child's eyes. Which, of course, means it didn't exactly go according to plan...things never do with a 4 year old.

We were scheduled to leave on a Wednesday. Court got really sick the Friday night...4 days before....the trip. She came down with a bad cold and a fever. Sunday it turned into pink eye. A trip to the pediatrician followed on Monday. I took another day off to stay home with her on Tuesday. She just wasn't getting better. Since the trip was already all paid for, we said a little prayer and went along with the original plan.

The trip was wonderful. Court seemed to get a little of her energy back. She's an excellent, seasoned traveller. She told me all the rules on the airplane about the seatbelt and no smoking sign (just in case I wanted to take up the habit, I guess). She was in good spirits, but wouldn't nap on the plane or in the car on the way to the hotel, and her appetite had not yet returned. We had planned to not go to the park on Wednesday to give her an extra day of rest, but she wasn't having it! We figured it was cruel to go all the way to Anaheim a block away from the happiest place on earth and make her wait an extra day, so we forged ahead, hoping the excitement of being there and Casey's dad and stepmom meeting us there, would be enough to carry her through. Alas, it was not to be!

Talk about disappointment! She just wasn't feeling well and was being soooo onery. She is not the most pleasant person to be around when she hasn't eaten, and we just couldn't get her to eat anything. We took her on a few rides and she did well when she was actually on them (well, except for Peter Pan, which for some reason scared the crap out of her), but the minute we got off the rides, she would start whining and throwing tantrums again. She wouldn't let me take her picture. It was unbearably hot and we were all cranky from being around a cranky child! We were at freakin Disneyland and NO ONE was having a good time.

Below are some pics of that disastrous first day:

At least mommy and daddy were happy to be there!

Happy for the moment

Get away from me Minnie! I'm in a bad mood!

We gave up around 4pm and went back to the hotel. By that time, Casey was getting sick his own self and we were all beginning to wonder if this was all just a bad dream.

The second day wasn't a whole lot better, unfortunately. She woke up Wednesday night with a lot of congestion and threw up a little bit. It was still hot and she still wouldn't eat very much. We went to California Adventure to see the Playhouse Disney show, which she absolutely loved!

We then headed over to our lunch we scheduled (and might I add, paid a small fortune for) with Ariel and the other princess at Ariel's Grotto. She just wasn't having it. She wanted us to walk all the way back over to Disneyland to go on the Dumbo ride. There was just no reasoning with her at this point. I was so disappointed, I wanted to cry, but we tried to make the most of it.

We paid a lot of money for this lunch, SOMEBODY was getting their pic taken with Ariel :)

Fine, Daddy will wear the princess crown!

She started to turn the corner when we bought her some stuff and promised to take her over to the Dumbo ride! She was pretty good the rest of the afternoon. We went back to the hotel to take a nap and she actually ate some dinner. Unfortunately, just as she was starting to feel better, Casey took a turn for the worse and had to go to the ER for a sinus infection and ear infection! But he promised to suck it up for the rest of the trip.

Good thing he did, because the next two days were AMAZING! My little girl was back. It was much cooler on Friday and she was eating and sleeping well again. That third day was exactly what I had been imagining in my head all these months when I thought about this trip. She LOVED Disneyland that day and took it all in with a much brighter attitude. She especially loved the Pooh characters, Pooh ride, Dumbo, Finding Nemo, the carousel and Alice in Wonderland (which I think we went on like 10 times, I swear!)

Here are some better pics from that wonderful day:

Meeting Pooh!

With all her babies..She's finally letting me take her picture!

Waving to the characters in the parade!

She loved, loved, loved the parade! Then we went back to the hotel for a nap. I think Daddy needed one the most! We went back to the park for the fireworks show, a few more rides and some sugary snacks! That day made everything worth it.

The next day we just hung out by the pool, went to lunch a did a little shopping. It was our unwinding day before the trip home. It was also a great day.

I'd say, overall, the trip was a success. I can't wait to go back again next year!

2008-09-06T12:22:00.000-07:00

My Baby is now officially a little girl!

It's been a long and VERY busy 2 months since my last post. I feel like such a loser for not updating more often, but something else always seems to take precedence. There are just not enough hours in the day to do everything I need to do, much less everything I want to do.

The most important thing that happened is that my little girl turned 4 at the end of August. I still can't believe it. It honestly feels like I just had her. The time is flying by. She's growing by leaps and bounds (it seems as if her legs are finally catching up with her long torso...), and she's maturing before my very eyes. I'm constantly asking her to stop growing and she seriously tells me that it's just not possible. Every year is more fun and exciting than the previous. As sad as I am to see the baby years fade away, I'm enjoying spending time with her as a little girl. She's like my little friend and we go everywhere together. She tells me that she loves me constantly, asks a TON of questions, and seems genuinely interested in everything that I do. She's kindhearted, polite, dynamic, hilarious, extremely intelligent and verbal, and curious. I don't think I could have wished for a more wonderful little girl and I can't believe I've had anything to do with raising such a beautiful little person.

Alright, alright...enough gushing. It's not like I'm biased or anything :) As for the birthday, we had a smaller party than normal at the local park and I'd say it was a hit! She had a blast, but it was exhausting for all. The theme was of course, princesses, because that's what she is!

The calm before the storm

Daddy manning the BBQ...per usual

Best friends...Court and Victor

Anxiously awaiting the pinata

Make a wish!

Yummy cake!

What a tiring day for both Court AND mommy!

2008-07-11T15:37:00.000-07:00

Ahhh...those summer days!

I love summer. Watching Courtney enjoy all the summer activities I used to do as a kid just makes me so happy. She's a big scaredy-cat like I was at that age, though. She's currently frightened of the water and will only go in the sprinkler or wade in a kiddie pool. Casey took her to Lake Don Pedro and she wouldn't step foot in the lake, but she sure loved the boatrides

We went to the Alameda County Fair a couple of weeks ago and she ate her way through the whole place: cotton candy, pickle, snowcone, french fries, popcorn. I'm surprised she didn't get sick. I don't normally let her have any of that stuff, so she just went hogwild

The 4th of July was great! We went to my father in law's house where fireworks are still legal. Don't know how long they will stay that way, so I wanted my baby girl to have a chance to play with the sparklers the way I did. She absolutely LOVED it. She kept saying "mom, this is soooo cool!"

I've taken some days off work and spent them at the local park with her. They have a petting zoo and carousel and train ride. She likes it there, though she's suddenly afraid of climbing on the jungle gym now. Oh lord, this child! Below is a pic of my little "turkey" at the park

It's just been lazy weekends like that...enjoying the weather, playing in the water, eating summer treats! But the rest of the summer is going to be quite busy! She's going to Canada with Casey and his father for a three days next month. I can't get away from work at that time, so I won't be going with them. It's going to be the longest we've ever been away from each other, so it will be hard for me, but I have to admit I am looking a little forward to the alone time....sleeping in, catching up on my scrapbooking, going to some yoga and spin classes, maybe a girl's night out one night. Below is my baby's pic for her little passport.

I can't believe she's three and has a passport! I want her to travel a lot. It's one of the reasons we're only having one. We want to see the world and it's easier to do so with just one!

She's turning 4 next month, so I'm beginning to plan her little party with all her school friends. I can't believe my baby is turning 4! She's such a little girl now and not a baby anymore! She'll always be MY baby, though...

2008-06-23T08:45:00.000-07:00

No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth

I know it's been a long time since I've updated. THings have been crazy in the Houtz household. I am working a lot and our weekends have been packed with activities since the weather warmed up.

I debated whether or not to keep up with this blog. It started out as a way to document Court as a baby and all of her firsts, but sadly, she is not much of a baby anymore. I can't believe she is almost four. I look at her, really look at her sometimes, and am blown away by what Casey and I created. She's such a beautiful, kind, funny and extremely smart little girl. I just enjoy hanging out with her. She cracks me up! She's just grown into her own little person and every day I sit and watch and wonder what new and exciting things she's going to do and say that day.

She definitely has some of her parents' traits, though. She is shy, cautious, creative, and indoor person like myself. She looks like me in her shape of face and her eyes, and unfortunately, she has my flat feet and my knock knees. She most looks like me when she is scowling. She is stubborn, curious, and LOVES animals like her father. She has is gorgeous lips, dark blond hair, long eyelashes and big blue eyes. She most looks like him when she is looking at something with curious wonderment. I feel in a lot of ways, she got the best of both of us.

So, I have decided to continue with the blog and document the exciting adventures of this amazing creature as she approaches four. The stresses of toddlerhood (potty training, temper tantrums, sleep training) seem to almost bed behind us. I know that a whole different set of stresses awaits us, but I have to honestly say, I'm looking forward to it!

2008-04-25T10:13:00.000-07:00

Our "evolved" family

I called my husband on my way home from work yesterday to let himn know I was on my way and he sounded irritated by something Court had said or done.

"do you know what your daughter just said to me. My mommy should be home soon...you better have her dinner ready"

I proceeded to howl with laughter. Dead silence on the other end.

"It's not funny...why doesn't she say that stuff to you?"

I'm so proud!

2008-04-22T15:54:00.000-07:00

Boyfriend...EXCUSE ME!

Yeah, I dropped Court off at school the other day and her teacher told me that Courtney decided that Victor ( a fellow 3-year old ) is her boyfriend. What? Where did she even hear that term? Ummm...ok, maybe I shouldn't let her watch Hannah Montana, but it all seemed pretty harmless at the time. Anyways, her teacher doesn't think it's a big deal because she doesn't seem to know what it even means. That whole day, she just dragged poor Victor around and ordered him to tell everyone he was her boyfriend or she was going to break up with him. While the teacher thinks it's cute, I'm a little worried..for 2 reasons: 1) I don't want my kid to be that precocious, agressive girl that starts calling and chasing boys at like age 7...not going to happen 2) I'm concerned that she thinks the definition of a boyfriend is a boy you can boss around. Ummm...ok, she may have gotten that from watching me and my husband :) The funny thing is that Victor just follows her around and does whatever she says. Maybe I should be proud that she is showing such "leadership" skills at such a young age?

now, does this look like a bossy, high-maintenance diva in training...
ummm...yeah!

2008-04-14T10:16:00.000-07:00

Now I lay me down to sleep...

Courtney seems to have found religion lately. Her godparents got her this really great children's bible that she just loves. Every night at bedtime, she asks daddy to read her a "Baby Jesus" story. She listens intently and asks a ton of questions (which I do not know the answer to). I have to admit that there have been a couple of scary stories (Abraham's sacrifice of Isaac was little disturbing to read to her), but she takes it all in stride and says that Jesus is a "superhero"! Yes, he is baby!

After the story, she says her prayer:

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
The angels watch me through the night
and keep me in their blessed sight.

Yay-men!

I said "baby, it's Amen". "I want to say yay-men". Well, ok, then, works for me!

2008-03-25T10:00:00.000-07:00

The busy month of March continues

Last month, when Casey and I looked at our family calendar for March, that we WAY overbooked ourselves, but we were determined to not only make it through but have a great time in the process, and I believe we've done that so far. Only one week left :)

A couple of weeks ago, we went to the Disney Princess on Ice show. We weren't sure she was going to sit still or like it so much, but she absolutely LOVED it and behaved so well. My eyes just teared up watching her enjoy herself so much. It's great seeing all these things through her excited eyes.

Getting ready for the show. She still has no idea where we are going..

Our little princess

The following weekend, we were off to San Diego and Seaworld! We had some timeshare points we had to use or lose so we impulsively booked a long weekend in San Diego. There were so many options of what to do there, but I'm a strong believer in not overstimulating a kid (an overtired kid is a cranky kid), but we only wanted to schedule one major event for the vacation. We settled on Sea World because she's never seen dolphins and whales and I personally, LOVE them.

She was great on the plane. We even got several compliments from fellow passengers about how quite and well behaved she was (really? MY kid?). We met up with my father in law at the SD airport (he lives in Palm Springs), grabbed some lunch and started exploring. Our hotel was right on a beach and though the weather was kind of crappy, the view was still spectacular.

Court's favorite thing to do was chase the seagulls!

The next day was SeaWorld. The weather was still pretty overcast, but Court insisted on wearing her sunglasses the whole day!

Waiting for the show...

She really loved the Shamu show (and so did I)

We booked a behind the scenes tour where we got to pet the dolphins (Court said they were too cold). It was AWESOME! Here is Razzle!

We went home the next day. She was so tuckered out, she fell asleep on the plane before it even took off.

Casey left for a boys trip in Vegas a few days later. Court and I had a good time just us girls.
Easter was really fun this year. It was lowkey. We did a brunch at grandma's house. We did an Easter Egg hunt too and she was really into it. The only down side of this Easter is that she won't wear a dress (or any pants with zippers and buttons), but she still looked cute. She ALWAYS looks cute...

Today, we are going to the Wiggles concert. Wish us luck!

2008-03-05T19:23:00.000-08:00

Praise to the Potty Training Gods!

I have been avoiding talking about my latest obsession because it just really upset me there for awhile. Court was just adamant about sitting on the potty or even discussing it. It was quite frustrating because she was almost completely trained last summer and when I switched her from her nanny to her daycare, she totally backslid and seemed almost afraid of the toilet. I tried everything: a potty chart, M&M rewards (I know, I know a big no-no), buying pretty panties, potty videos and books...heck, we even bribed her with a trip to Disneyland. But nothing worked. It was causing tension between her and I, so I backed off, but still read every potty book and article I could get my hands on, mainly to convince myself that my kid wasn't a complete anomaly. I was completely convinced that my five year old was going to start Kindergarten in a diaper. I'm not sure why it upset me so. I think I had big expectations for her since she did everything so early developmentally. I kept hearing that little girls potty train much earlier and had friends with kids who were trained at 2! People were starting to give me looks when they noticed that my 3 1/2 year old was still in a pull-up. Strangers can really be so judgemental. Just when I was about to throw in the towel, a very stressful situation suddenly presented itself and brought with it some unexpected results!

Two weeks ago, our daycare provider told us that her mom was diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer and she was leaving immediately to Oregon to care for her. I had 24 hours to find a new babysitter. I am embarrassed to admit that I cried for that entire day from the stress and the fear and ashamed that my prayers weren't totally with the DCP and her mother. My kid is very shy and doesn't handle change very well (or so I thought). I continue to be convinced that I lead some sort of charmed life, because I found an AMAZING Montessori program down the street from my house within a couple of days that was exactly what we were looking for and they took kids that WEREN'T POTTY TRAINED! Hallelujah!

I planned on her only being at the preschool for a half day that first day to get used to it. When I dropped her off, she was very nervous and sat in the corner, rubbing her eyes to avoid interacting with anyone. When I left, she stood at the door and waved goodbye with the saddest look on her face. I was heartbroken. I couldn't concentrate on my work and was convinced that I made a major mistake. Then, when I went to pick her up, I didn't see her immediately and asked where she was. "Oh, Courtney is in the bathroom!" Excuse me! Apparently, my stubborn child had been using the "big potty" all morning with absolutely no coaxing from anyone. I was floored. I tried not to make a big deal about it because I didn't want to embarrass her, but I swear, I wanted to just drop to my knees and cry! I had tried everything to get her to just SIT on the potty, and a few hours of good, old-fashioned peer pressure solved the problem! Who knew!

She uses the potty pretty regularly now (except for #2, but hey, I'll take what I can get right now). She's still in a pull up but keeps it dry during the day. I will switch her to panties in a couple of weeks when she gets more used to her school. She LOVES school and her new friends. She seems to have forged an immediate and sweet bond with her teacher and just feels comfortable there. She's even taking an afternoon nap (which she hasn't done in a year!) I swear, it's like she's a different kid. No more tantrums either. She's just the sweetest thing now that she feels more independent and is getting more rest.

I'm grateful for being forced into this change that I was convinced my family wasn't ready for! We're all happier because of it.

2008-02-17T13:28:00.000-08:00

Drama Queen update

Nothing in particular going on. I just crack up at my kid on a daily basis.

Below are some pics with her new scooter (thanks Auntie Gloria and Uncle Matt). At first, I was a little apprehensive because she is not exactly the most graceful of children, but after she put all her pads and her helmet on, we all felt a little better about it. Though, to be honest, I think she's more excited about the pads. She hasn't done much more than push it up and down the hallway and look at herself in the mirror.

Latest Courtneyisms:

This is a story she told me the other night during bedtime:

"Once upon a time there was a beautiful, mysterious mermaid princess who lived in a castle under the sea. There was a bunch of water in it. Then, happily ever after, she couldn't swim in the castle because a mean octopus came along and cut her tail off with the scissors. The end"

Kind of disturbing :)

She came out of her room with a hat, her tap shoes, a purse and sunglasses..."Sorry it took me so long, mommy, but I had to get fabulous". Well, ok then!

2008-01-30T16:45:00.000-08:00

Mother of All Courtneyisms:

Court: (while watching me get dressed in the morning), Mommy, I think I need a bra...
Me: Baby, maybe when you get bigger. You don't have any chi chis yet
Court: Yes I do (pointing to her chest) They're right here!

I think my husband is going to have a heart attack! I personally found it hysterical!

Some others:

Me: What do you want to wear to the grocery store
Court: I don't know, mommy, I haven't decided yet
Me: Well, we need to get dressed soon
Court: I'll figure it out later!

Excuse me!

Me: Hurry up baby, mommy is late for a meeting
Court: Well, call them and tell them they have to start without you

Now, why didn't I think of that :)

2008-01-04T14:43:00.000-08:00

Christmas Rocked!

It was the most amazing Christmas I've ever had. Court was soooo into it this year. She supervised the purchasing and hanging of the Christmas lights as well as the purchase and decorating of the tree!

She only asked for one thing from Santa, and wrote a 3 page letter to him requesting a Dora Mermaid (that spins). I saved the letter for her memento box. It was just a bunch of lines of little circles. It was sooooo cute. But my daughter is not just a taker. She also enjoyed going Christmas shopping with me and picking out presents for others, especially for "Gamma". She had overheard my mom say that she needed a new pair of slippers, so Court got her a FEW pair. She also insisted on helping Casey wrap the presents, which means each box had 18 pieces of tape and 4 bows!

My stubborn girl didn't want to go see Santa this year. (Though she did yell out to him in passing at the mall that she really wanted that Dora Mermaid). So, we had to improvise with the Christmas card picture. After several failed attempts, Casey finally got the pic below in our front yard with all the Christmas lights.

Not bad for an amateur!

My family has quite a few holiday traditions that I've been anxious to share with Court as she's gotten older. One of them is a baking day with my mom. Court wasn't the least bit interested, but my mom and I had a blast!

Court was more interested in eating the finished products!

Christmas itself was AMAZING. Christmas Eve she wanted to go to bed right away so Santa would come. She carefully arranged his Oreos and Rudolph's baby carrots on a baby plate and crawled into our bed. When she was asleep, Casey and I drank some champagne (while he ate the Oreos and fed the carrots to the dogs) and watched a movie while wrapping her presents.

She woke up fairly late surprisingly and I watched her little face as it slowly dawned on her that it was Christmas morning. I will never forget that look of excitement as long as I live! She ran out there and ripped throught 8 presents in about 5 minutes. I was cracking it up! It was serious business with my little girl. She would open one, make a funny comment, literally throw it over her shoulder and rip into the next one. "Oh ANOTHER pair of Crocs, I already have so many silly Santa" were some of her exact words. She was sooo excited when she opened the Dora Mermaid. Mommy and Daddy were less excited when it took us almost 15 minutes to remove all the ties and tape to take the doll out of the actual box! They adult proof those things!

Overall, it was wonderful and I will treasure the memories always!

Here's a pic of her trying on her dressup princess clothes and shoes.

Using her doctor kit to check on Fred!

And just a cute pic of her modeling her winter hat!

2007-12-23T18:20:00.000-08:00

Funny things kids say...

I will update soon with all the holiday new and some great pics, but I wanted to share a quick funny story before it got lost in my "mommy brain".

I asked Court what activity she wanted to do when she got bigger: gymnastics, soccer, baseball, dance. And what did my child say with all her normal dramatic flair "mommy, I want to take juggling lessons!". Great, my child will run away and join the circus!

2007-11-26T14:17:00.000-08:00

Holiday updates!

My goodness November and December fly by every year. It starts with Halloween and before you know it, it's New Year's Day!

This is an especially exciting holiday season because it's the first where Court seems to really "get" what's going on.

She loved Halloween, but wasn't as into trick or treating as she was last year. She like the dressing up part, but didn't like actually saying "trick or treat". She just let Casey knock on the door, stuck her fingers in her mouth and put her bag out. It was quite rude, really. I sure hope she gets over this shy stage soon!

There she is helping daddy "carve" pumpkins. We got this great kit, where she could put lights into the pumpkin kinda like a Lite Brite. She thought it was way cool

Here she is all dressed up as a Barbie Princess

This is a cute of one of her and her daddy walking down the street. I love to watch them together.

Before we knew it, it was Thanksgiving, which for our family, means lots of turkey and FOOTBALL. Court had a blast playing with her cousin "Bubba". To me, that's what Thanksgiving is all about!

We are now preparing for Christmas. We put the lights up on the house. Our little angel picked out some penguins for the front yard. We bought most of our gifts already (I started in September...crazy, I know). Court has written her letter to Santa (3 pages!). Now, we play the waiting game, when every day, my little girl asks me "Is it Christmas yet?"

2007-10-29T10:28:00.000-07:00

Terrible twos my butt!

They completely bypassed our family. I thought we were home free, then BAM! ...then came the Terrible Threes! They are kicking our butt. We have been completely inequipped to handle it since we've been so spoiled by what an angelic toddler she has been so far.

Everything is "no, I do it" and it takes 10 times longer. Everything is a negotation to get her to do ANYTHING. And now that she's given up her nap, she's worse in the evenings which is the only time I spend with her during the week. It's a mad rush to get her dinner, a bath, jammies, teeth brushing and bed. I often have to decompress with a glass of red wine after she's asleep! Mornings are equally as hectic, if not worse. Now that I have to get her out of the house to daycare, the pressure is on and we've yet to find our groove. The good news is that she LOVES her new daycare. She's so excited to go every morning which makes things MUCH easier. The hard part is getting her to brush her teeth and her hair. I have to threaten to cut it off almost every morning to get her to cooperate. I really hope she never calls my bluff on that one. Forget about getting her dressed. I'm just lucky her babysitter is ok with me bringing her in with her pajamas on half the time.

But, she is absolutely thriving at this daycare. She is playing real hard outside like normal kids do. Every day she comes come smelling like sweat and dirt, which is what I think a kid her age SHOULD smell like. She hardly watches television anymore, which is great, and she eats MUCH MUCH better. I don't even have to hide the veggies in her food anymore. Her favorite food is broccoli, carrots and peas right now. It's crazy. Just a couple of months ago, she wouldn't touch the stuff. So, it is obvious to me that she needed a little more structure in her life and this new daycare is giving that to her. I am still eternally grateful to her nanny for her 3 years of helping out our family, but it was time for a change.

Court is still, however, painfully shy. I was hoping playing with these kids every day would help that. She's not shy with them but she wont' talk to anyone else she doesn't know. A few weeks ago, I signed her up for a little tap and ballet class. I was eagerly awaiting for her to turn 3. When I found out I was having a little girl, tutus and tap shoes are what I immediately envisioned. Well, after spending a small fortune on said supplies, I took her to the class, only to have her cling to me and scream bloody murder. I threatened to take her tap shoes back and her tutu and that just made the screaming worse. I of course, felt awful and apologized to her. The truth is she's just not ready. In the meantime, she gets to keep the ridiculously overpriced tap shoes and I have to wait for this shy phase to ease up a bit, if it ever does. I did get some great shots though before we left for the class, when she was still all excited to go:

So, that's what's going on with us right now. It's quite hectic but we're adjusting. I've purchased every parenting of toddlers book I can find and I'm currently devouring those, but mainly, I'm just figuring out what makes my newly sophisticated little girl tick. And there is some manipulation involved on both sides, but we're managing.

But, don't even get me started on the potty training thing! That's for another post. Until then, I will leave with my current fave pic of my little "angel".

How can such a sweet girl be such a handful?

2007-09-23T16:22:00.000-07:00

Change of babysitter

Court has been with the same nanny since she was 4 months old. When she was a baby, it was very important to me that she receive one on one care. As she became a toddler, I noticed that she craved interaction with other children. She adored the older grandchildren of her nanny, but they are 9 and 13 and were starting to teach her some bad habits. When she was around other kids her own age, she didn't really know how to react. She's become increasingly shy over the last few months and REALLY REALLY spoiled. So, enough was enough. I stopped taking the easy way out and went and found another daycare in our neighborhood that had 4 other kids her age.

It was the perfect setup. Right around the corner from our house. Recommended to us by her friend Gabbi's mother. She provides breakfast, lunch and snacks and she is willing to help us to potty train! It felt like it was the perfect thing at the perfect time, so we jumped on it and haven't looked back.

It was of course, sad for us because this woman has practically raised my daughter and took wonderful care of her, but we were becoming increasingly dissatisfied. She was getting up there in age, and not active enough to keep my child active during the day. She was watching too much television and has learned to roll her eyes and be sassy with us like the little grandson. It was time for a change and I'm so glad we did.

I was extremely nervous. I had to get her ready to actually leave the house every morning, where before, the nanny would just come to our house. I've never left her with anyone but grandparents and the nanny, so even though she came highly recommended, I was wary. I practically made myself sick the night before her first day of "school" (as we called it to get her excited). But it turns out it was all for naught. She was quite the trooper. She was so excited and got right in the car, no arguments. I stayed with her for about 10 minutes, she kissed me goodbye and I walked away. I cried all the way to work because this was a big change for me. My baby is growing up. I called to check on her a couple of hours later and the DCP said she was quiet for about an hour, never cried, but had been playing up a storm ever since and even ate a really good lunch (peas and all).

It's been 3 weeks, and she's had some ups and downs, but I've already noticed huge strides in her social demeanor. She's more brave, she eats better, and her manners are back to being impeccable. She's on a good schedule and she seems genuinely happy. Every day, she's excited to go play with her new friends. It warms my heart like you wouldn't believe. My little independent angel is such a big girl and I'm so proud! I feel we made the right decision and I believe in fate. This was just meant to be and has been good for the both of us :)

2007-09-20T13:31:00.000-07:00

What a crazy day!

That birthday party was. It gets so much harder as they get older. I was so stressed out thinking of what to do to entertain a bunch of 3-year olds AND the 20 something adults we invited. It was bizarre. Every single person we invited RSVP'd YES. Even my father in law was in town from Palm Springs. It was a full house!

After going back and forth several times about a jumper, a pinata, snow-cone machine, etc.... we decided on a Little Mermaid water party. We had swimming pools, water guns, water balloons, sprinklers and a water table. It was like a water park in our backyard.

Good thing we decided to do that because it was SUPER hot that day. I'm pretty sure everyone had a good time, though I was running around like a crazy woman and didn't get to eat anything. Courtney got a bunch of gifts that we of course, have no room for, but she loved them.

We were all exhausted that night. I think I was asleep by 9pm. Court was extremely happy and went to sleep like an angel with the most adorable little half smile on her lips. Happy Birthday Baby!

2007-08-29T10:35:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Baby!

I can't believe it's been 3 years since you came into my life. I was sooo scared when I found out I was pregnant, even though I wanted you so very badly. When you were born, the world suddenly made sense in a way it never did before. I was put on this earth to be your mother. I believe that with all my heart. And I am truly blessed to have you as a daughter.

You were so so small when I first met you and I was sure I was going to screw you up for life.

You were a colicky and sick baby which made for a pretty miserable 6 months for the both of us. But I got the hang of it and soon I couldn't remember what it was like to not be a mother. Once you started to feel better, you were such a happy baby. You were always smiling and laughing and making us smile and laugh.

Before we knew it, you were growing up to be a very beautiful toddler. Strangers would stop us on the street to compliment us on your beautiful eyes and your long shiny hair. You blew people away with your advanced vocabulary and your ability to take in everything around you. We knew you were special.

You were an amazing 2 year old. I couldn't figure out what the "terrible twos" even were. You were sweet and agreeable. You would just go with the flow. Wear what I wanted you to wear, let me brush your hair. Go where we wanted you to go.

Man, I miss those days! You are a very independent 3 year old and you are definitely keeping me on my toes. But I still feel blessed and proud. I want to raise a strong woman, the way my mother raised me. I see that in you already and I look forward to watching you learn and grow and blossom into an amazing person. You already are an amazing person and I thank God every day that I know you.

Thanks for humoring me if you've read the mushy letter to my daughter above. Her birthday party is this Saturday and I will be sure to post some pics!

2007-07-31T13:32:00.001-07:00

The Other Love of My Life

I spend so much time talking and writing about my daughter that it may seem as if she's the only one that matters in my life. The truth of the matter is that my husband is the first love of my life and I try to remember that every day. I know a lot of women who ignore their husbands when their children are born, couples who don't have anything to talk about but their kids or who don't make time for the just the two of them. I think that is just plain criminal. Sure, our child is the most important thing in our lives but not THE only thing. A good marriage is the foundation of your family. After all, what will be left after the children go off and start their own lives?

Here's a pic of us at a wedding over the weekend. I'm more in love with him today than I was when we met over 14 years ago!

2007-07-17T09:23:00.000-07:00

More Courtneyisms

It looks like Toys R Us in my child's bedroom. I try really hard to keep it contained to her bedroom, but it inevitably overflows into every room in the house. It's a constant effort to keep things picked up. She just has too much stuff and for some strange reason we all keep buying more! So, the new rule is that if she gets a new toy, we take one that she doesn't play with anymore and put it away for our next charitable donation. I tried to explain to her about how some kids don't have any toys because they are poor. On the surface, it appears as if she has some compassion for these children, but not enough to part with any toys that are still functioning.

"Oh, mommy, I forgot about this toy, it's my favorite" Then why haven't you played with it in over a year?

"This one toy is broken. Let's give it to the poor kids!" No, baby, I think they want toys that aren't broken.

I guess I'll keep trying.

Also, my husband thinks it's great fun to teach Court about slang.
Yesterday, I asked her why she was wearing her sunglasses in the house and she said:

"Mommy, this is how I roll!"

Great! That quality time with daddy was really well spent.

2007-07-13T20:54:00.001-07:00

She has an answer for everything

I just had to share with this quick conversation with my witty 2-year old.

Mommy: Baby, please don't get bigger
Court: But I have to mommy
Mommy: Why?
Court: For I can reach the sinks and paint my toes

Hilarity ensued...

2007-07-13T09:48:00.000-07:00

She is just toooo much

Now that I'm off of my soap box about working motherhood, I am going to elaborate on the effervescent drama queen that is my daughter.

She's gotten a little too sassy for her own good but timeouts seem to have curbed that a bit. She knows when she says something she wasn't supposed to and immediately says sorry. I'm just in awe that I have to deal with the eyerolling and backtalking at such a young age. She says things like

"No, I'm the boss"
"I don't want you, I want my daddy"
"I don't want to go on the potty, I can do it when I get bigger"
" Mom, I said don't look at me"

Aside from the snide comments, she also walks around with this dramatic flair and is always asking me to take her picture. Here are some that she demanded I take this week.

Courtney and her "sissy"

Courtney wasting an entire box of bandaids for entertainment purposes

My princess acting like she's too cool to get her picture taken.

What am I going to do with this child? I know I should be frightened, but for now she's just cracking me up!

2007-07-12T13:55:00.000-07:00

Chaotic musings of a working mother

All my life, I have been the classic overachiever. I was the best at everything I did, especially in school and it mostly came without a ton of effort on my part. I was ambitious in college and climbed the corporate ladder pretty quickly in my last few jobs since graduating. With more responsibility came more money, recognition, self confidence. I was driven by those things, almost to an unhealthy degree. Then little Miss Courtney Rose came into my life and turned that way of thinking completely upside down.

I became content just doing the job I have now, the job that I actually love. I worked 9-5 so I can be home with my little girl in the evenings. My "ambition" in the traditional sense of the word abandoned me. I had different ambitions and goals. Though I still took pride in my work, what was most important was to be the most wife and mother I could be. To me, that was the source of TRUE happiness and success.

I still feel that way, but recently, I've began wanting more. I didn't go to UC Berkeley and work my butt off for nothing. I'm a really good financial analyst and was starting to get bored with my work. I put in for a promotion and suddently, all those old ambitious and competitive feelings came back. It was quite a dramatic couple of weeks. It turns out that the person I was trying to replace ended up not leaving the company so the position wasn't even available. I thought I wanted that job very badly. I was obssessed with getting it. I cried at first when I found out I wouldn't be getting the promotion. Then, I went home and suddenly, I was very relieved. I didn't like myself during those 2 weeks. I was working late and cranky during the rare time when I was home with my family. Is that really what I wanted? Sure, the money would have been great, but I don't think it would have been worth it. It would have meant significantly less time with my husband and daughter, more stress, more responsibility. That's just too much sacrifice right now. My daughter is going to be grown up before I know it and I don't want to miss one second of it that I don't have to. I have to work. I want to work. But I don't want to live to work. I want to work to live.

Thank god for those unanswered prayers. I would have been miserable!

2007-07-10T11:32:00.000-07:00

Where or where has my angel gone?
What terrible twos? Parents should fear those terrible threes, where every little thing is a battle of wills. I'm just plain worn out from it all. The last week or so has been better, but for like a month before it, my nerves were completely frazzled. For everything I need her to do, the answer is a resounding "NO!". No, she doesn't want her diaper changed, No, she doesn't want to eat anything, No, she doesn't want to brush her teeth and go to bed, NO, I DON'T WANT ANYTING, MOMMY! My husband and I thought maybe she was finally getting her last 2 molars. We needed a logical reason for her sudden personality change, but sadly, that is not the case. She's just asserting her independence every chance she gets.

Bedtime, particularly, was a disaster. We weren't getting her to sleep until almost 10 every night. We were all so worn out from the experience, we would just go to bed right after that and not spend any time together as a couple. We would dread the evening and the 2-hour long ordeal of getting her to take a bath, brush her teeth and go to sleep. Then, she skipped her nap a couple of days in a row and passed out by 8pm at night. She was a little cranky in the evening, but for the most part, was cooperative enough and passed right now. Could this be the key? Yes! No more naps! I have extremely mixed feelings about this. I'm sad, because this is a sign that she's not a baby anymore. I feel sorry for myself, because I treasure my own Sunday naps on the weekend with her. On the upside, our family life has flourished again! She's sleeping 12-13 hours a night and is a joy to be around again. We no longer have to plan everything around her 1pm nap. We have our evenings to ourselves again. And, we get to sleep in on the weekends until almost 9AM sometimes! Life feels almost normal. I'm no longer walking around like "miss crotchety pants!"

Of course, we still battle about other stuff on a daily basis, but my patience is improving and she's being a LITTLE more flexible. The battle du jour is getting her to try new foods. She's so picky right now. But, one battle at a time please or I will never conserve enough energy to win the war!

2007-06-16T18:24:00.000-07:00

Video Montage I made for my husband for Father's Day

I'm getting all verklempt just thinking about it...

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

2007-06-13T11:16:00.000-07:00

Talk to the hand!

Court must tell us "wait!" about 100 times a day. She has such attitude packed into such a little person. Now, she sticks her hand out and says wait (in English and Spanish). My MIL captured it perfectly.

Too funny!

2007-06-12T15:14:00.000-07:00

Boogers and Toe Jam

Sounds yummy, doesn't it? For the most part, Court is a girly-girl but she can be just as gross as other 2-year olds. She's obsessed with picking her nose and getting all the lint out from beneath her toes. I just don't get it. I am trying to teach her to just do this at home, however. The other day, we were in the shoe store and I took off her socks so that we could try on some shoes. She proceeded to call out to me that she had to get her toe jam out first. How embarassing! My husband and I use phrases such as these thinking that she wouldn't pick up on it, but that girl doesn't miss a thing!

Trying to teach her to be a little lady is slow going, but we're getting there! In the meantime, we are using it to our advantage. My husband told her the other night if she let us cut her toenails, we would let her clean her toejam before bed! She jumped all over it. My kid is weird.

How can just a gross little being look like such a princess?

2007-05-31T09:43:00.000-07:00

Trying this new digital video thing

Here's a video of one of Courtney's many performances. She's constantly "on"! Below is her rendition of "London Bridges", though it sounds more like "Wondon Bwidges fawing down, my fair wady!". Way too cute.

Also, here's a pic of her blowing bubbles outside with her daddy. She loves to play outside with her daddy!

And finally, another one of her being such a ham. That girl LOVES to get her picture taken.

2007-05-23T10:03:00.000-07:00

When did my kid get so grown up?

It hit me last night. My kid is mature beyond her years. Not only is her vocabulary off the charts for her age (she was speaking in full sentences by like 14 months) but she's also very in tune with what everyone around her is feeling and thinking.

Example:

I got a much needed pedicure yesterday during my lunch hour. When I got home, Court was mesmerized by it (sad that she's never seen her mother's toes painted before). She wanted her toes painted and I said that she could when she got bigger. I must have put out a vibe that it's kind of sad that she's growing up so fast and she picked up on it. This morning the exchange went like this..

Court: "mommy, I still like your toes, but I don't want to paint mine right now, because I'm not bigger yet" Then she put her hand on my arm very gently, looked directly into my eyes and said "don't worry, mommy, I still your baby"

Me: (tearing up) "you will always be my baby"

Court: "Good mommy because I love you"

Could that get any cuter? It amazes me how I'm raising such a compassionate little being. I must be doing SOMETHING right.

2007-05-22T13:22:00.000-07:00

Do 2-year-olds smell fear?

I'm convinced that mine does. She is has been so easy-going lately that caring for her has been less work and more fun for the first time in 2 1/2 years. She plays well by herself, listens to us most of the time, and is very sweet overall.

Well, my husband is out of town for the next few days and I was actually looking forward to spending some quality girl time with my little "angel". She apparently had different plans. I came home from work yesterday and picked her up from the babysitter and she proceeded to have a full-on hissy fit about not wanting to go home with me. That felt great. After 15 embarrassing minutes of "negotiating" I got her to come home. She had similar meltdowns at least every 15-20 minutes until I put her to bed for the night. I'm sure she was tired, but it was very hard to deal with for 3 hours after working all day. I swear she only does this when she knows I need her to behave while I'm doing the single mom thing.

Last week, however, we had a great time. I spent a lot of time with her after going a few weeks working crazy hours and missing her bedtime a few times. I took her to the park and we had a picnic. I enjoy watching her during these times. Man, is she bossy at the park, though!

Here's one of very few pics I have of just the two of us. (I'm always on the other side of the camera).

Wish me luck for the next couple of days!

2007-05-01T11:36:00.000-07:00

The Best of Friends

Court met a little girl last year at gymnastics class that she just seemed to click with. Ever since then, she tells anyone who will listen that she is her best friend. Of course, she also tells us that our dog Fredrick is her best friend, so it's all relative.

As luck would have it, she lives about 2 minutes from us, so we try to get together and have play dates and do fun stuff. Last Saturday, we "played" miniature golf. Mostly, they ran down the fairway and threw the ball in the hole. Towards the end, they were hot, tired and goofy, so we got some cute pics.

I'm just happy she has a little friend. I didn't have many friends when I was little because I was so shy and preferred to stay in the house and read or play with dolls by myself. I don't want that for my little girl. I think every mother wants their daughter to be "popular" to a certain extent. I just want her to be happy and playing with other kids makes her happy, which in turn, makes me ECSTATIC.

2007-04-25T10:46:00.000-07:00

The Pee Pee Dance

I am amazed by how excited I got when Courtney first peed in her potty. It was a couple of weeks ago and she was soooo darned proud. Of course it was sort of a fluke that it happened but we jumped up and down and did the pee pee dance for a good five minutes. My eyes actually teared up. Then we had to call all her grandparents to break the exciting news. After all the hoopla, she turned to me and said "Mommy, I'm so prouded!". Mommy's so prouded of you too baby.

Since then, it's been a bit hit or miss. It's hard to efficiently potty train when you're a working mom. She won't attempt it with the babysitter right now, so I just have to do my best on evenings and weekends until she gets the hang of it. I'll have to take some time off from work soon to really drive the point home, but I'm still so afraid to force it. Last night was a milestone, though, because while she was in the bath, she told me she had to pee. So, I took her out and put her on the potty and she dribbled a little bit. Again, we did the pee pee dance and she ran down the hall naked and wet to tell her daddy. It was downright adorable.

Latest Courtneyisms:

"Hey, what did I just tell you?" She says this when we do something that's against her wishes. She gets that from me because I say that all the time when she disobeys me.

"You did that on purpose". Again, it's the drama queen in her.

"Ladies and Gentleman, Courtney Rose Houtz..." She has to announce herself when she walks into a room.

She loves, loves, loves Hannah Montana on the Disney Channel. Whenever it's on, she says, "mommy, I have to get up and dance!" You go girl. Then, she makes me say "Go, Courtney, Go, Courtney" for like 5 minutes while she does her "routine".

2007-04-10T13:57:00.000-07:00

Shameless Photo Brag

Just sharing pics of my darling daughter on Easter. She's really loved wearing dresses and hats lately. She walks around asking me if she's pretty. She acts as if she's strolling the catwalk. Again, I feel as if I'm really going to have my hands full!

2007-04-09T12:49:00.000-07:00

We're back from Vacation!

Last week, we went on our first official family vacation (to a destination other than my in-laws in Palm Springs). We booked our timeshare in S CA, Casey, Court, my parents and I all piled into a rented Grand Caravan and drove to San Diego to enjoy some sun, golf and a 2-day pass to Legoland!

I admit, I was more than a little nervous. The long drive worried me. Spending 24-7 with my parents scared me. It didn't start out too well. Court woke up with a bad stuffy nose (which I'm positive she got from the germy kids next door). She is not a morning person as it is, and when we woke her up at 6AM (to beat the LA traffic in the afternoon), she was not a happy camper. But once we told her we were leaving on vacation, she got all excited and began to cooperate. She had no idea where we were going or why she should be so excited, but since my parents were there and we were all pumped up, she figured it was something she should like! So, we were off! About an hour into the trip, my mom spilled her grande mocha all over the floor of the rental van and Courtney threw up cranberry juice all over the place. This was not a good beginning! But we figured she wasn't actually sick and just choking on phlegm, so we powered on! We only had to stop twice for potty and food breaks. We brought snacks, a portable DVD player and my mom to entertain the little one, so it went surprisingly well.

The resort was beautiful. We just relaxed and reenergized. It was the first time my parents had had a real vacation in years, so it was nice to see them so relaxed. Below is a pic of 3 generations of Alexander women. A whole lot of trouble! I was beginning to feel bad for Casey and my dad!

After a nice dinner, where my carniverous daughter ate half of a steak dipped in mashed potatoes, we went to bed early to prepare ourselves for Legoland the next day!

Court was soooo excited and impatient to go to Legoland, though she had no idea what it was. She kept calling it "Neverland" and I didn't correct her, because I imagined it would be kind of like that for her. As soon as we got there, she ran in and I will never forget the look on her face as long as I live! She wanted to go on a ride immediately, so her and I got in line for a little jungle ride while everyone else went to get something to eat. She wasn't crazy about having to wait in line. She's not the most patient little girl in the world, to say the least. After about 15 minutes, she was done, so I called Casey over to play with legos in the play area while I waited in line. This, apparently, was highly entertaining for her! Check out this look of concentration.

After an hour of waiting in line and glowering at bratty 3 and 4 year olds, I was not in a good mood. I was surrounded by wealthy, stay at home moms, carrying their children's snacks in humongous Louis Vuitton bags, calling their children Spencer, Brandon and Carson. They were getting some dirty looks from me too. Finally, I was at the front of the line and my little booger of a daughter told me she wanted to go on the ride with her daddy and I was promptly kicked to the curb! I had to laugh and since we decided this trip was all about her, I didn't put up a fight. But no more rides! Instead, we spent the rest of the day playing on the structures and playing with legos. That's what she likes to do! At about 3pm, she pooped out and we went back to the resort to take a nap.

The next day didn't go as well. She got a bad rash from the new sunblock I used on her and was cranky after about 2 hours. We didn't do much new stuff with her. She went back to the playground and rode on the train. Casey tried standing in line with her for another ride for awhile, but she gave up on that after 15 minutes again. I spent a half hour climbing on this pirate ship thing with her and almost killed myself on the rope ladder, but it was a lot of fun and it tuckered her out! We were all cranky, hot and tired, so we bribed her with some toys at the gift shop and we left!

The next day was wonderful! Casey and my dad played golf and my mom watched the Little Monster while I went for a quick run around that gorgeous resort. After lunch, we played in the water. I was glad that Court wasn't afraid of the water and was content to wade around the steps. She was being her usual charming, LOUD self, announcing to everyone at the pool that I had water in my boobies! She then called me a drama queen and pranced around the sprinkler area like the little diva in training that she is. She's a constant source of amusement.

We went to the golf range after our afternoon nap and she, of course, had to be a part of everything and carried the bucket. When she thought we weren't looking, she would throw a golf ball out on the range as if she had hit it out there. She's such a cheater, but she had a lot of fun!

None of us wanted to go home the next day. We could have used about 3 extra days. It was good we came home, though, because her cold got worse and then I caught it real bad.

We made some great memories that I will treasure always! If she's happy, the whole world is a better place! It's really that simple!

2007-03-19T11:13:00.000-07:00

My, what an imagination

Recently, Court has really been using that amazing imagination of hers. She plays for hours by herself talking to her dolls and her imaginary friends. We go on adventures rescuing animals, fighting dinosaurs, putting on shows, all in the comfort of our own home and backyard! We don't even need half of the toys she owns. She's growing into such a wonderful little person. Who knew such a little person could pack so much personality?

2007-03-06T13:20:00.000-08:00

No more crib!

We finally broke down and took the rail off of Court's crib to turn it into a "big girl bed". We were going to wait until she was potty trained, but since that is going nowhere, we decided why not? It's actually made her more excited to go to bed. The bad news is that she can get out! I have to admit it is very cute to hear her little feet run down the hall to our room with her pillow and stuffed kitty. I know we shouldn't let her sleep with us, but we used to like it since it was only once in awhile and for a couple of hours in the morning.

Well...we don't like it anymore! Her top 2-year molars are coming in and her sleep is very restless. She yells out and kicks and hits in her sleep and I'm usually the target. The other night, she sat straight up in her sleep and yelled for me to get her a cookie. Then she laid back down and went to sleep, leaving me with a look of bewilderment on my face.

Her tantrums have gotten really bad with her teething. She's usually such a sweet girl. That's what I tell people in Target and the grocery store when she's down on the ground throwing a fit. I don't think they believe me. She screams and hits and kicks. I'm just so worn out and I miss my little girl. This bratty, alien-child is not mine. I apologize to every mother I've ever given a dirty look to when their children were having fits in public. I shall never judge again!

Here's a pic of (what used to be) my little angel trying out her new bed

2007-02-21T14:11:00.000-08:00

New pics of my little lady

Not a whole lot going on, just that my little girl is growing up! She's almost acting like a teenager. She rolls her eyes at me already. Apparently, I'm not as cool as I think I am if a two-year old is embarrassed of me! I'm going to run out to Wal-Mart right now and buy my mom-jeans and fanny pack!

Below is my little SuperStar!

Here she is playing miniature golf. She actually "played" the entire 18 holes. She hit it once and then ran down to place the ball literally 2 centimers from the hole and hit it in! What a cheater!

Here are some pics that Casey took yesterday in our front yard. She looks like such a little lady!

People say she looks like my little mini-me in those last pics, but I've seen pictures of me as a child and I was nowhere near as cute! Neither was my husband so I'm not sure how she ended up so beautiful!

Until next time...

2007-02-13T11:45:00.000-08:00

Can we just get healthy please?

Sorry it's taken so long to post, but the three of us just keep giving this nasty cold and cough virus back and forth to each other. I have to say that my darling girl has been such a trooper through all of this.

There are some other things going on besides illness at home:

Her latest obsession is dancing. She says she's doing "bawet" (still can't get those L's or R's pronounced well) and she wants to go to dance class when she gets bigger. Apparently there are a lot of things she wants to do when she gets bigger. The other day she asked me when she could wear makeup. I said when she gets bigger. The next day she asked Casey. "Daddy, am I bigger now?". Thinking it was a harmless question, he of course, answered yes, and she promptly replied, "ok, I can wear makeup now. Where's that wipstick?" I kid you not! I think we're definitely in for a real treat when she reaches her teenage years.

We now have regularly scheduled play dates with her best friend Gabi, who she met in her gymnastics class. The first was at her house and it went well. Last week, we got together at our house and that didn't go quite as well. Though Court is good at sharing other people's toys, she's not so good at it with her own toys. I don't think she understands that they aren't going to take them home with them. So, she shows kids her toys (practically shoves them in their faces) and when they try to grab them, she says "no, that's mines". It's kind of embarrassing, though typical for a 2-year old. She is rather spoiled, though. Gabi's mom walked into her room and her jaw dropped at all the toys and clothes she has. We've definitely overindulged. Oops!

She has been coming into our bed in the early hours of the morning, and though we were quite stressed about it at first, I've grown to cherish the snuggling time. She's so angelic when she's sleeping, though lately she's been snoring like a freight train because of her cold. And come to think of it, it's not all that comfortable. She kicks me in the ribs, calls out and tells me off in her sleep, turns around and sleeps horizontally between me and Casey....Why do I love this again? Oh yeah, because it's not going to be much longer before she is no longer small enough to fit in our bed or before she will not want to snuggle with us. I'm going to enjoy it as long as I can!

I will post new pics this week. Her hair is getting so long and I swear she's getting more gorgeous by the minute

2007-01-23T13:58:00.000-08:00

New Favorites

I noticed that I wrote a post last year listing all of Court's current favorite things and almost all of them have changed since then. She is a very fickle little being and keeping track of her likes and dislikes is almost a full-time job right now, but I'm loving every minute of watching my little girl discover herself. Below is an update of what she likes as of today!

Favorite Color: Purple (Damn you Barney the Dinosaur)
Favorite show/character: Higgly Town Heroes, Max and Ruby, Backyardigans (thank goodness she seems to be over her Wiggles hero worship and can't say I miss Dora the Explorer either)
Favorite movie: Lion King, Lady and the Tramp
Favorite animal: cat (she carries around this little kitty that we bought that is made of real rabbit fur. She is obsessed with our poor cat Leo, who I have to say has yet to warm up to her)
Favorite drink : "Juice red" (cranberry juice)
Favorite meal: macaroni and cheese
Favorite snack: dried apricots, blueberries, Cheez-Its, popsicles
Favorite pasttimes: singing and dancing, stacking her many DVDs into "towers", racing us up and down the hallway, hide and seek, painting with watercolors
Favorite song: Hakuna Matata
Favorite toy: she doesn't much play with her toys, she prefers to play endlessly with household items like a flashlight, cup, coasters, fake fruit, knickknacks, but when she does play it's usually with her Thomas the Train set
Favorite phrases: "I need it" "but mommy I HAVE to" "I think I need a snack" "mommy, let's think about this"
What makes her happiest: Waking up in our bed. The big smile on her face when she rolls over and sees me in the morning is absolutely priceless
What makes her mad: Changing her diaper. Telling her to go to sleep. Putting her in a timeout. "you're making my mad!"

She's such a character...a big personality in such a tiny body.

2007-01-12T14:17:00.000-08:00

The Cold Has Set Upon Us

We are having an unusually cold January in the Bay Area and because of that, EVERYONE has the flu or a cold. Courtney caught it first about a week ago. It started with a high fever for a couple of days and then a runny nose and a bad cough. It's been especially hard on us because the child now absolutely REFUSES to take medicine. A couple of months she had caught a little cold and we gave her some Tylenol Cold for children. The stuff tasted pretty nasty (I taste everything before I give it to her), but she was suffering so we kind of forced it down. She proceeded to cry and gag until she threw it all up (as well as her dinner, lunch and probably breakfast too). Now, she's traumatized. When we hold her down, she just spits it out all over the place or gags and throws up. We tried sneaking it in her juice and now she won't drink ANY juice. I got busted sneaking Triaminic Ready Tabs into her yogurt so now she won't eat that. We obviously have some trust issues now and I have to work on rebuilding that, but a mother desparate for her child to feel better will try just about anything.

So, I stayed home with her for a couple of days and got a pretty nasty cold as a result. I haven't had a cold in like 3 years, so it hit me like a ton of bricks. I haven't slept well in like 5 nights because of all the draining and coughing and I can barely hear anything because my ears are so stuffed up. I'm at work today either whispering or yelling at people because I can't hear myself talk. Now, my husband is sick also, so we're just a fun bunch! I'm usually such a caregiver and nurturer for everyone around me, but I've noticed that no one really takes care for "mommy" when she's sick. So, I just grit my teeth and get through it and continue to care for my husband and child. In the meantime, I'm absolutely miserable. I'm lucky, though, because Courtney really is a trouper when she's sick. Now, if only I could get my husband to stop being so whiny...

2007-01-09T13:22:00.000-08:00

Sorry I've been so lazy

About updating my blog, though I'm not sure how many people actually read this!

The holidays were very mellow and very enjoyable. Christmas was awesome with Courtney. She really got into the whole Santa thing and got WAY too spoiled with presents. I have to completely reorganize the house to figure out where to put everything. She didn't act spoiled, though, which makes me very happy. She very patiently opened each gift, put the wrapping paper in the garbage bag, and lines up the presents very neatly in front of the fireplace. How many 2-year olds behave like that at Xmas? I haven't decided if this is a good or bad thing yet. She's pretty uptight and things have to be just perfect or she has a bit of a meltdown. Everything has to be stacked neatly, lined up, none of her food can touch on her plate. But it makes for a pretty tidy house!

I have to say I really enjoyed staying at home with her for my 10 day "vacation". I got into the whole stay at home mom thing. I cooked breakfast, lunch and dinner, all healthy snacks and meals. I took her on excursions. We went out to dinner together, we went shopping. It was like she was my little buddy. This time with her is why I had a baby in the first place. I thought I'd be ready to go back to work from being burnt out, but I cried the whole drive in on that first day back. I don't know if I could do it full-time forever, but I treasure those days when I can devote all my time and energy to my little angel.

I was going to tackle the potty-training thing during this time off, but this gained no traction whatsoever. I took her to Target to pick out some big girl panties thinking this would be a good way to kickstart the process. Thirty dollars later...no dice! She had to get all these boy underwear, like Cars and Wiggles, as well as girly Dora the Explorer, Little Mermaid and Curious George panties. For a couple of days, I had to put them on over her diapers. She also likes to play with them and organize them into neat little piles, but other than that, they don't seem to interest her very much. Money well spent. I did get some Pull-up diapers and she was into pulling them up and down for a couple of days, but she's over that also. I know I'm supposed to be waiting for these elusive "potty training cues" before I try to get the ball rolling, but I'm thinking about taking a more heavy-handed approach. I don't understand how a child as brilliant as Court can be so behind in things like these. I had the same problem with the bottle-weaning issue. Oh well. We'll see what happens.

New Years was a big whopping dud. We didn't even make it to midnight. I did absolutely no reflecting and made no resolutions. I just want to be the best wife and mother I can every day. I have learned this past year, that it's important to put equal energy into both endeavors. As much as I love my daughter and want to make her the center of my universe, I love my husband just as much. It's a different kind of love, of course, but not any less important. I think the foundation of a good family life is a good marriage and I'm committed to that wholeheartedly. Having this child put a tremendous strain on things that first year from all the first-time parent stress that arises from not knowing what the heck you're doing, but things are great now. I want to keep it that way. A lot of my friends ignore their husbands and completely lose their sense of self and individuality when they have children. I made a promise to myself I wouldn't do that and I've done pretty well so far. I still have my yoga classes, dinners with girlfriends, date nights with my husband, drinks with work colleagues, and it makes me a well-rounded person, and not any less of a mother. I want to be a good role model for my daughter and show her that you can have everything if you want it bad enough. Oh look at that...I'm reflecting. Enough of that!

I will post holiday pics next time of my little anal retentive girl!

Cheers

2006-12-13T10:37:00.000-08:00

We wish you a Merry Christmas
Wow, I'm pretty sick of this song. We decorated our tree last night and Court was playing with these singing snowmen, over and over and over. At first it was cute because she was really trying to sing it, but enough already.

However, overall, preparing for Christmas has been especially exciting this year. She's really starting to get it. We went to see Santa last weekend and she didn't cry this year. Though she wouldn't talk to him either. After her picture was taken and we were walking away, she panicked because she didn't tell Santa what she wanted and was afraid she wasn't going to get that Dora Castle. So, she yelled over her shoulder. "Santa, I want a Dora Castle..don't forget". It was pretty darned cute.

She understands Santa and presents and Christmas trees, but she doesn't get that Christmas is only one day and she has to wait for her presents. She is being incredibly patient, though.

Below is the pic we're considering using for our Xmas card (gosh, I have to get those out). She looks like such a little lady!

2006-11-28T16:33:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving

Pretty noneventful, but got some cute pics. My mom made her her own little cornish game hen, which she ate with gusto!

2006-11-21T15:27:00.000-08:00

Is she three yet?

Because the Terrible Twos suck. I hate to whine, especially since I am extremely blessed with such a beautiful, smart little girl, but I'm going to for a minute! Most of the time, she is very well behaved, but when she's not, she's like the devil incarnate. The fact that she's so good all the time probably makes it harder for me to deal with her when she's not. Or maybe she's just too spoiled. I don't know, but my patience is wearing thin.

Every night is a battle to get her to go to sleep. We go in there at 8:30 and sing songs for awhile, and tell stories. We do this thing where we talk about what she wants to dream about. And then when I tell her it's time to go to sleep, the heavy manipulation begins. Mommy, I want my milk. Mommy, hold my kitty, wait, I don't want my kitty, I want my dolly. No, mommy not Mary, I want the Susie baby. Mommy, my tummy hurts, you might have to take me to the doctor. Mommy, my diaper is bothering me. The minute I get stern then she wants her father. Any trick in the book to not go to sleep. Last night, I was in there for an hour and I finally gave up and let her wail for a minute when I left. I try to stay calm, but sometimes I just have to walk away and collect myself.

Alright, enough complaining, because she really is an amazing little girl. Her vocabulary is off the charts and sometimes she comes up with stuff that just cracks me up. The other night, she couldn't find a toy or something and she said "oh, snap!" like Raven on That's so Raven on the Disney channel. She won't be watching that show anymore! But it was funny. She counts to twenty, knows all of her letters and numbers on site, and boy is she a charmer. Her and my mom got into a little fender bender last weekend, and she had all the firefighters in a circle around her while she flirted away. I was so upset until I talked to one of the firefighters and he told me that she was fine and just offered him some of her juice.

And the kid is just gorgeous. I get stopped a lot by strangers who comment on how beautiful her eyes are or how personable she is. People hand me cards for modeling agencies that I just throw in the nearest trash bin when they aren't looking. Thank you, but not interested!

So, I am a lucky mommy, who just needs to vent once in awhile. If you are still there, thanks for reading.

Below is a recent pic of my little girl standing in the rain with an umbrella that is way too big for her. Too cute.

2006-11-01T09:45:00.000-08:00

Happy Halloween

Don't have time to write much, just wanted to post some pics of my little pirate.
I was hoping she would want to be a princess or a fairy or a bumblebee, but NOOOOOO. She wanted to be a pirate.

She loved trick or treating. She said "trick or treat please". And "Arggghh" like a pirate. She always remembered to say thank you when she walked away and then said "ok, let's go to the next one house to get more candy. She was hilarious and the absolute hit of the neighborhood. People were giving her candy from their "special" stash. I let her have some M&Ms and after bouncing off the walls until 9pm, she fell fast asleep. It was wonderful. Can't wait for Christmas.

2006-10-31T13:28:00.000-08:00

The Diet of a Working Mom

I'm so sick of being chubby. Truth be told, I was a little chubby before I got pregnant. I lost all the baby weight, but the weight has totally redistributed to different areas of my body. My clothes don't fit right. I don't feel all that great. I have poor eating habits that I don't want to pass on to my daughter. A few months ago, I decided that enough is enough! We switched to brown rice and wheat noodles. No junk food in the house. Egg whites and oatmeal in the morning. 72 oz of water a day! All this is great, but doesn't mean much without a workout program. Here lies the problem. Where do I find time in the day?

I could get up at 5 AM and run to the gym before my husband has to leave for work. Yeah...that's not going to happen. I could go at lunchtime. I prefer to EAT at lunchtime. I could do a workout tape at home after the kid goes to sleep. There are way too many good tv shows to watch on the DVR. So, after nixing all the previous ideas, yet realizing something still needed to be done, I agreed to carve out an hour at 5pm most evenings to work out in the gym downstairs at work. I felt really guilty at first. Isn't this time I should be spending with Court? My husband didn't care for the idea too much. His reasoning was if I was able to get off earlier from work, I should come home and help him. Frankly, I think he'll live having to be in charge for a couple of hours every day. Despite my misgivings, I gave it a try and I feel wonderful!

The weight isn't coming off as fast as I'd like but I feel so much better about myself. I go home in a much better mood and with more energy. I'm just a happier person. Now, if only I could actually stick to a diet. I'm not sure it's possible with a two-year old, unless you have perfectly proportioned meals delivered to your doorstep every day. Whenever she doesn't finish her PB&J, or popsicle, mommy eats it. She likes to feed me a little of whatever she is eating sometimes. Sometimes, we're so tired from dealing with her, that neither of us feels like cooking so we heat up a frozen pizza! I've been working out so much that I'm absolutely ravenous all the time and end up snacking every night before bed (a major diet no-no apparently). So, I ask myself this..."how does a working mom stay on a diet?" The answer is....YOU DON'T. And I won't beat myself up over it. I'll just continue to be the best version of myself I can be. After all, don't I deserve that piece of cheesecake?

2006-10-25T11:41:00.000-07:00

We're baaaaack from "Cation"

We got back a week and a half ago but it took me a while to recover.

It was a great vacation but I wish I had given myself more time before going back to work. It was an exhausting endeavor. The good news is that Courtney was an angel in the car to and from Palm Springs. Thank goodness for portable DVD players. We only had to stop once each way. Thanks Dora, Wiggles, Barney and Blue's Clues!

Now, once we got there my little angel turned into a monster! She screamed at bedtime, would wake up for 2 hours in the middle of the night, wouldn't listen to me AT ALL. In short, she made me look really bad to my in-laws. By the time Casey and I left for Vegas, three days after we got to his dad's house, I was sooooo ready to leave her. I know that sounds terrible, but my nerves were shot. I gave very careful instructions to my mother-in-law on how much Tylenol and how many teething tablets to give her every night. I gave her tips on how to calm her down. I told her to prepare to wake up at 6 AM every morning. The poor woman was probably totally freaked out. So after she took careful notes, (Thanks Nancy by the way for humoring a nervous mother) we were off!

We had a great time. It didn't take me long to let go. I had convinced myself that she was going to have a blast without me and that we both needed this little break. I had know idea how true that statement was! We called the next morning at 9:30 and my little devil was STILL SLEEPING...since 8PM the previous night. The whole time we were gone, she did that. She slept 12 + hours every night without waking up and without any Tylenol and took 3 hour naps every day. Boy, was she making us look bad. Plus, Casey and I were jealous that she was soo easy. So, after a great time in Vegas, we went back to the desert to get her, eager to spend time with our new and improved daughter. FAT CHANCE!

She went right back to her old ways the first night back. Why is it that she is soo much more well behaved for her grandparents than us? Am I so easily manipulated? Well, yes.

Anyways, it's good to be home and back to the routine. She is sleeping and behaving better now that her molars are actually starting to break through. I'm enjoying her again and I am quite grateful for the break.

We've been enjoying the fall. Below are pics from the Pumpkin patch and of her helping daddy rake the leaves in the yard

She wants to be a pirate for halloween, or at least wanted to. After Casey spent $80 on a pirate costume for her AND him, she changed her mind and wants to be a bunny. How do you explain the concept of "nonrefundable" to a 2-year old? You don't!

Latest Courtneyisms:

1) "Pop, you're making my mad"..when my dad teases her
2) "Gamma, my teeth hurt, I have to brush my molars".
3) "I didn't take a very good nap today...my tired."

She tells on herself constantly. I'm glad she's honest, at least for now!

2006-10-05T09:30:00.000-07:00

We're berry berry tired!

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. It's been the same old grind.
Courtney continues to assert her independence at every turn and I swear she says no to every question before she even hears the whole thing. At least now, she says "no, thank you". and Pweeese, mommy". But she's still pretty whiny. We think her 2-year molars are coming in because her sleep schedule is all jacked up. She had me spoiled the last 6 months or so, sleeping until 7:30. Now, she's getting up with the chickens at 6AM or even 5:30. I tell her "it's still dark", and she says "so what, mommy, I'm all done night-night." Can't argue with that.

We had her 2-year checkup this week. Going to the doctor is getting tricky now because she's old enough to remember that's where she goes to get shots. She wasn't very cooperative, though she impressed the doctor with her vocabulary and cognitive skills when she said, wait a minute, I'm not ready." She has the verbal skills of a 3-year old or above. She asked her what her name was and was stunned when Court replied "Courtney Rose Houtz". She's such a showoff. She weighs 27 pounds, only up 3 pounds since her 18 month checkup. She is only 33 inches which is the 25th percentile for her age. She's short like her mother. But all her baby fat is almost gone. She looks like such a little girl. It breaks my heart.

Speaking of how big she's getting, Casey and I are taking our first little vacation without her next week. We're driving down to Palm Springs on Saturday to spend a few days with his dad and then we're leaving her for 3 days with him while we go to Vegas for Casey's 30th birthday. As much as I am looking forward to this and know that she's going to have such a great time that she'll hardly miss us, I know I'm going to have a hard time. I've never been a way from her for more than 24 hours. She's my best friend, the joy of my life. Even when she's being cranky and we've had a horrible day, I go into her room at night and watch her sleep and feel so proud that we've created such a wonderful creature. But Casey and I need some adult time and I need to remember that though I am a mother first and foremost, I am also a wife, and an individual in my own right. Still...

Latest Courtneyisms:

1) my mom's dog has it's tail docked and ours don't. She told my dad very seriously the other day, "papa, Eddie's tail is broken. Put a bandaid on it".

2)"mommy, look I'm shaking my bootay!" I asked her who taught her that. "daddy". Of course!

3) Her stomach was growling one morning and she said "Oh, mommy, there's a tiger in my tummy, feed it!"

If only they could stay that innocent and naive.

Until next time...

2006-08-29T09:50:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Baby!

It's been a long time since my last post. Things have been hectic at work and crazy at home. And I've been feeling a little melancholy in anticipation of my baby's second birthday.

I can't believe it's been 2 years! I can't believe I survived. I can't believe SHE survived and that I haven't ruined her yet. But most of all, I cannot believe how beautiful, intelligent, funny, sweet and resourceful my little girl has become in such a short span of time. I can't believe how much I've grown to love her since she's been born. I didn't think it was possible to love someone that much. I never thought that I would be able to completely disregard my needs and wants in order to fulfill someone else's every desire. It actually brings me great joy to put her before everything else. It's all worth it to have her look in me in the eyes, touch my face and say "I wuv you bery much, mommy." My eyes tear up every single time.

I'm not going to lie. It's been really hard. It was a tough transition for me. But motherhood has been such an absolute blessing. I actually think I'm pretty good at it. I must be to have raised such a wonderful little angel. Sure, she has her moments. The Terrible Twos have not completely escaped us, and I'm sure there's more to come. But overall, she's a very good little girl. Almost makes me forget how awful she was the first 6 months of her life...ALMOST.

Below are her 2-year portraits.
Later this week, I will post details and pictures of her birthday party. It was awesome, and so much more enjoyable and lowkey than last year.

2006-07-10T09:43:00.000-07:00

Just another day at the fair

As promised, I am updating the blog sooner rather than later with pics and details from Courtney's first trip to the Alameda County Fair.

This is a major tradition for Casey and I. We've gone every summer for 13 years, since we first started dating and have commemorated every visit with a cheesy photo booth picture for every year except the last 3. Two summers ago I was 8 months pregnant and miserable. I didn't want that captured for posterity. Last summer, Court was just under a year and we couldn't get her in the booth. This year was just too crazy! We promise to resume the tradition next summer!

Anyways, a bunch of people wanted to come with us this year, to see the little one's reaction to everything. My parents and her godmother met us there and after about an hour of wrangling everyone together and another hour of feeding everyone, we were off!

Court was getting cranky, so my mom bought her some french fries. Well, she wouldn't eat them until my mom got a plate, some "dip-its" (ketchup) and we all sat down at a table. She is such a creature of habit. Anything out of her eating routine and she just freaks out! But, it was kinda cute and she really enjoyed those fries as you can see.

Then we went to see the barnyard animals. She's learned all the animals names and sounds from books, flashcards, and my constant quizzing, but she's never actually heard one make a sound live! When she heard the cow moo, she just cracked up! Then she said, "ok, let's go see the bock-bocks." (chickens). Or lets go see the sheep or goats. Now, these animals really stink, but we hung out for like an hour anyway because we were so delighted to see her enjoy herself.

Then, we were off to the exhibition halls. She of course wanted to walk around. I'm not even sure why we brought the stinkin' stroller. I'm a creature of habit also, and every year, I buy a big giant pickle and some beef jerky in the exhibition hall. I was about halfway through my pickle and I turned around to find my darling daughter taking it right out of my hand.

After 4 hours of eating junk, cavorting with smelly barnyard animals, and running after my precocious 2-year old, we went home. In the car, she kept saying she was tired and crying that she didn't want a bath. So, we wiped her down at home and she passed out!

I know that I've gone to the fair every year since I was a little girl, but I'm not quite sure I've seen it the way I saw it this time...To see things through the eyes of a toddler is truly magical.

2006-07-06T11:39:00.000-07:00

Where or where has Courtney been?

Oh my gosh, it's been a long time since I've added an entry, and it's not for lack of interesting news. Things have been really hectic at work, then I go home and play with Court and pass out by 10 pm. There are so many things I want to do with my "free" time and somehow, blogging just keeps getting pushed down the list.

There's lots to tell, so I'll keep it brief.

1) It's been almost 4 weeks bottle free! One day she just told the babysitter "no more baba, k?" and that was it. She doesn't even ask for it. Now, I can't believe I obssessed over it so much. My mom told me Courtney was the type of child who would reach those kind of milestones on her own without much prodding from me but I didn't believe it. Gosh, I hate it when my mom is right. Does she have to ALWAYS be right. Now, I'm just waiting for her to potty train herself!

2) Dora the Explorer Rocks! Well, not really, but she's Courtney's current obssession. My parents aren't helping any either. She has a Dora bathing suit, Dora nightgown, Dora sleeping bag, Dora videos, Dora doll. "I want Dowa!" I have to say, I'm a little sick of Dora. Her voice is annoying. It sounds like she's shouting through the whole video. But apparently, she's supposed to be a good female role model for the pre-school circuit. And she makes my kid happy, so whatever.

3) No, Mommy do it! Her other current obssession is ME! Apparently, I'm the only one who can change her diaper the right way, pour her juice right, put her videos in, read her books and give her baths. I'd be flattered, but I'm too darned exhausted! I'm blessed to have a husband who wants to be an equal participant in caring for our child, but she just won't let him and it's bumming both of us out. I understand that this is a normal part of development at this age, but we're going to try and nip it in the bud. It's getting to be a bit much.

4) Too bossy for her own good. When Courtney says "jump", we all say "how high". It's ridiculous really. Before, we all marvelled at her ability to put together 6-word sentences to really question what she was saying. Now, it's not so cute when she says "daddy, get out of my chair".

5) Pronoun mixup. This is the age where they start to TRY to use pronouns. Court hasn't quite gotten the hang of it. "Mommy, leave my alone". "No, My do it". "This is mines and that is yous". It's really kind of cute, and I don't have the heart to correct her.

6) Tiny tot tumbling. Now that her swim lessons are over, we signed her up for "gymnastics" at the local community center. It's not really gymnastics. More like running around and jumping on things, but it's great. It makes me sad how much she craves interaction with other kids. She get SOOO excited when she sees the other children. But, those kids are demons. Am I really the only one in the community with a well-mannered toddler?

Anyways, that's it for now. I will add pics next time. I broke the digital camera with the tumble in the ocean that occurred during Court's first trip to the beach when a big wave knocked me into a rock. But we bought a new camera over the weekend and need to install the photo software.

Next time, I will talk about Court's first trip to the county fair, complete with a photo of her eating a 2-pound pickle!

2006-05-30T10:01:00.000-07:00

Oh my God Mommy that was AMAZING!

Those are the words of my 21 month old to describe our first trip to the beach. I have some cousins in Santa Cruz and we took a day trip up there on Saturday to hang out at the beach and meet their kids (3 years old and 13 months - shout out to Thomas and Madeline!). Court had never seen the ocean, so we thought it would be fun! Well, not so much. She had great fun with her cousins, but the beach wasn't a big hit with her. The water was too cold (ohh, frio, daddy!) and she didn't like getting any sand on her (she's such a girly girl), so her and hung out on the towels with a bucket of water so that she could rinse her hands every time she got a speck of sand on them!

But on the way home, she kept saying "oh my god, mommy that was amazing!". I don't really know where she learned that, but I was cracking up so she kept saying it. It warmed my heart like I couldn't even describe!

The 3 kids on the way to the beach! She's never even been in a wagon

First time in the ocean! Not really digging it. Don't you just love the little dimples in her fat legs, though? Just like mommy!

Still not looking too thrilled!

I LOVE this picture. She looks so pensive.

That's it for now.

Will update again soon

2006-05-15T15:29:00.000-07:00

20 Months going on 16 Years

Where or where has the time gone? It may not be that much time but a lot has happened developmentally with Court in the past couple of months. Here are a few of the highlights:

1) Can count to 10 in English and Spanish (the kid will count anything...she loves it, I swear)
2) Knows her ABCs
3) Can actually identify about half of the letters by sight (her favorite letter is B for some reason)
4) Knows her colors (I found this out when I tried to give her a popsicle the other day and she said, "no, I want a red one"...there's no fooling her)
5) When listening to the radio in the car, she stops us when station surfing and says "mommy, I like this song" (She sang "My Humps" by Black Eyed Peas in the car yesterday...not good)

She's really coming into her own and having her own, very vocal, opinions. She knows what she likes and more importantly what she doesn't like.

Current Faves:

Favorite Color: Green
Favorite TV Character: Barney, Dora the Explorer, Wiggles
Favorite Animal: Monkey
Favorite Drink: Prune Juice
Favorite Food: Chicken Noodle Soup
Favorite Snack: Yogurt covered raisins
Favorite Pastimes: Coloring, watering the flowers outside, reading
Favorite Song: Apparently, "My Humps" by Black Eyed Peas, and of course, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Favorite Toy: her "naked baby". It's a cheap plastic doll from Wal-Mart that she refuses to leave clothes on. She takes it in the bath and to swim class. She calls it her "naked baby". Weird! I need to be careful who she says that around.
Favorite phrases:
"No, I don't want it"
"Ootsi, mommy" It's her version of oopsy!
"Are we going to dinner?" Maybe we take her out to restaurants too much
"Oooh, mommy, pretty" and then I of course buy it!

Boy, am I going to have my work cut out for me!

2006-04-24T13:56:00.000-07:00

The Wiggles Have Landed

After weeks of mild anticipation, the Wiggles concert was last tuesday. Casey had to go home Monday afternoon after receiving a phone call from the babysitter saying that Courtney appeared to have a fever. It was 104! I of course, freaked out and made the snap decision that we were not going to the concert the next day and tried to get rid of the tickets at work. Of course, there were no takers. All I got was a bunch of amart aleck responses via e-mail. So, I held onto the tickets, hoping that she'd have a miraculous recovery.

Well, she did, actually get much better the next day. We pumped her full of Tylenol and we were off!

There were a ton of people there. She was awestruck immediately only because she's never been around that many people. When we walked into the actual arena, her eyes got really big and she said "Oh Boy!". Waiting for the concert to begin, they played videos on the big screens, and when it stopped she said "daddy, gimme the mote", which means she wanted the remote so she could turn it back on. She had no clue what was going on. Then, when the Wiggles came out in the Big Red Car, she looked so excited! I'll never forget the expression on her face as long as I live. My eyes teared up over how much she was enjoying herself. She danced and sang to every song. So did we, as a matter of fact, because sadly we know all the words also. I have to admit, I was a little starstruck myself. I mean, these guys are on my television all the time and we were sooo close. A little too close, actually. We had a good view of all of their pit stains. In fact, the yellow Wiggle Greg got really fat since the last video release and my husband pointed out that he had two holes in the armpits of his t-shirt. I believe his exact words were, "can't this rich f***** afford a new T-shirt". Crass, but a true statement!

After the concert, we were walking back to the car and Courtney turned to me with her big blue eyes, in her Wiggles T-shirt, and Dorothy the Dinosaur hat and said "mommy, I see the Wiggles". Yes, honey you sure did! And I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

2006-04-07T09:45:00.001-07:00

Miss Bossy Britches

I must have the bossiest little girl in the world! And the sad thing is we all just do it.
Some of her latest commands:

1) I SAID wait for me! (Translation: you got a lot of nerve leaving without me)
2) No, I don't want it. (Translation: and you better not try to give it to me again)
3) Fredrick, back! or Fredrick, no barking! (Translation: I'm the new sheriff in town, buddy)
4) Hey! All done night night! (Translation: come get me ouf of crib lady)
5) Let's go to my room! (Translation: you better play with me or I'm going to throw the monster of all tantrums).

I'm getting pretty good at reading between the lines.

My mother said I was the exact same way back then, and to a certain extent, I believe I still am.

My poor husband!

2006-03-27T13:22:00.000-08:00

A future American Idol??...

My kid just loves to sing! She sings all day, in her crib at night, first thing in the morning. That little voice has got to be the purest sound in the world. She loves The Wiggles and Barney because they sing and dance all the time. She knows almost all of the songs. She doesn't know all the words, but she does a pretty good job at pretending she does. We're actually taking her to a Wiggles concert next month. You don't want to even know how expensive the tickets were. I don't even know why it was so important to us to get good tickets. For some reason, we wanted to get as close as possible to four sweating, middle aged Australian men singing assanine songs. Go Figure!

On another front, we're trying to introduce the potty chair to Court. I bought her a Potty Time video and a book, and she seems to understand the concept, just not the idea that she's supposed to do it someday. She sits on her chair fully clothed, but the minute you suggest taking her pants off, she comes unglued. The other day at my parents' house, she said she had to go poo-poo, so we took her pants off and put her on the chair. Her little bare butt looked so darned cute on that chair...I just about died. But she didn't like it. She peed two drops into the chair, then got up, ran away, and peed on my mom's carpet in the living room. I don't think this is going to go well....

2006-03-16T18:27:00.000-08:00

Tag, I'm It!

Apparently there's this online game of tag among bloggers, and I'm it! I have to answer some questions so that my so-called "audience" knows more about me. Well, prepare to snooze, because it's not that entertaining folks! And I don't know how many people even read this, but I have to follow the rules.

Four Jobs I've had:

1) Installing glove compartments on the truck assembly line at a Toyota manufacturing plant. I actually only worked there for 7 days before I walked off the line in tears.
2) Accounting Manager at Pets.Com. It should have been illegal to have that much fun at work!
3) Library Assistant at Green Library at Stanford University. I basically got paid to study. It was great!
4) Cashier at Tri-City Sporting Goods - now this was my favorite job because it's where I met my husband!

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over

1) Steel Magnolias (I'm a sap, what can I say)
2) Friday (Chris Tucker used to be a comic genius)
3) The Abyss
4) White Chicks (that dance off scene gets me every time!)

Four Places I've Lived

now this is especially boring. I've never left my beloved Bay Area

1) Fremont, CA
2) Palo Alto, CA (Stanford dorm)
3) Hayward, CA
4) San Lorenzo, CA

Four Places I've Been on Vacation

1) Disneyland (most romantic vacation I've ever had with my husband..can't wait to take Court)
2) St. Lucia - honeymoon
3) Kauai
4) Puerto Vallarta
can you tell I like beaches?

Four Websites I visit daily

1) People.com
2) eonline.com
3) babycenter.com
4) realityblurred.com
wow, that made me look bad

Four of my favorite foods

1) Pho'
2) seared ahi tuna
3) french fries
4) popcorn

Four Places I'd Rather be

1) Slanted Door in SF
2) Wine tasting in Napa Valley
3) Curled on the couch watching movies with my husband
4) Anywhere with my kid

Hope you're not asleep yet...Thanks for reading

2006-03-06T19:26:00.000-08:00

She Loves Me! She Really, Really Loves Me!

Ok, I apologize for the Sally Field reference, but I am almost matching her fabled jubiliation.

Courtney repeats about everything we say, even things we don't want her to repeat, but for whatever reason, she would never say "I Love you" even though we have said to her about 50 times a day since the day she was born. About 2 weeks ago, out of the blue, she started saying it to the pets. I'm not going to lie. I took it personally, but I figured it was a matter of time before she would say it back to us.

A few days ago, she finally said it back to me. "Luhhh you too!". And sometimes she would even hug me while saying it. But I always had to say it first. Then, last night, for no apparent reason, she came up to me an hugged me unprovoked, and said "I Luhh you Mommy". She then did the same thing to my sister-in-law, Casey's grandma, and then went into the kitchen and said to Casey. I lost it! The tears began to flow. This from a woman who didn't even shed tears at her own wedding or when her daughter was born. It's just something about this little being, who is the center of my universe, hinting at the fact that I she may feel the same way. It's just too much!

2006-03-03T09:58:00.000-08:00

Leave her alone, she's being quiet!

That's my new favorite sentence. I am amazed by some of the things I let Court play with just to keep her quiet, while I take a shower, do the dishes, make her breakfast, fold the laundry, etc...

It's getting harder and harder to keep her entertained because she's just so darned curious and active. And it's getting harder to say no to her when she wants something she's not supposed to have, because she'll throw herself on the ground or give you puppy eyes and say "Pweeessee!" It kills me.

My husband gets so mad at me, because I will let her play with my $20 MAC makeup brushes to clean out the lint from the wall fan, or let her unwrap all of my tampons, take every Q-Tip out of the bin and put them back, take all the DVD's off the shelf and open them, open and close the bathroom louvre doors a million times during a rousing game of peekaboo, put on all of my plastic bracelets, but baby powder on the dog...really anything to keep her quiet for just a little while. I know it's not a good idea, and I will pay for it later, but I say not to any of the real "dangerous" things she wants to do!

Here's a pic of her during one of her favorite pasttimes, taking all of her clothes out of the drawer and putting them on Gamma's head! Look at the evil in her eyes.

2006-02-21T13:18:00.000-08:00

Just a few recent pics of my little girl

Doesn't look too much like a baby now!
I'll update again soon.

2006-02-08T20:09:00.000-08:00

Daddy's Home!

And not a moment too soon! Remember how I was saying how wonderful Court was being and it seemed too good to be true! Well, the other shoe officially dropped not too long after I made that statement. I knew I should have knocked on some wood!

Last Saturday, she was unbelievably cranky. All week long, the babysitter said she was sleeping 2-3 hours for her nap, but for me, it was like 45 minutes tops! So, she was cranky after her nap probably because she was still tired, and I wanted to take her over to my parents to visit. She gets sick of just hanging out with me. But she was being awful! She wouldn’t “let” me take a shower, which means she screamed the whole time and I had to shower with the door wide open, freezing to death. She didn’t want to get dressed, so I just tossed her in the car in her pj’s, preparing for my mom’s comments about how she looks like a ragamuffin. All this after a night, where she woke up 3 times and I had to sit by her bed for an hour rubbing her back, listening to her going on about pizza and Sissy and Frederick and chips and the Wiggles. It was the first time since Casey’s absence that I felt close to a breakdown, so I called him to hear his voice and to get a little reassurance. He didn’t pick up his cell phone and then called me back a while later and apologized. He didn’t hear the phone because he was at a parade in Tampa. Are you freakin’ kidding me? I’m here on the verge of a total meltdown, exhausted, impatient, lonely, and he’s at a freakin’ parade. I just couldn’t believe it. At that moment, everything wrong in the free world was his fault! And I unfairly let him have it, poor guy.

She was difficult the rest of the evening, so went down early. Then, she was an angel the next day and the rest of the following week. She continued to wake up once a night…a new habit apparently. This habit MUST be broken, but I didn’t have the energy to do it alone. The week was flying by...we were in the home stretch and then Thursday…BAM! High fever! 101.5 degrees. No other symptoms. It was still there the following morning, so I took her to my mom’s and went to work. Here, it was the day Casey was coming home and she was miserable. It appeared as if she had a sore throat because she was struggling to swallow. Her fever came back every 4 hours, as soon as the Tylenol wore off. I was holding off on taking her to the dr, despite my mother’s panicked pleas, because the guidelines from the pediatrician’s office says to take her in if the fever is over 103 for 2 days.

Casey came home at midnight that night and she woke up…happy to see him, but really feverish again. It spiked to 103.5 the following afternoon, still with no other symptoms that I could see, so I called the advice nurse who advised me to bring her in the next morning. Turns out she had a nasty double ear infection and a throat infection. I had no idea! She not once grabbed her ears or anything. I feel awful. Of course, the doctor had to tell me that her laying down with a bottle makes it more likely for her to get an ear infection. Give me a break! It’s her first ear infection. But I hear him loud and clear…I’m just in denial.

Three days with antibiotics later, my little girl appears to be acting normal finally. She’s been an absolute bear for so long, I’ve almost forgotten how wonderful she could be! So, it’s a good thing I kept a written list of the cute things she’s done recently, or else I would neglect to include anything positive in this blog entry!

Latest cuteisms:
She continues to love the Gwen Stefani song “Hollaback Girl”. Only now, when we’re in the car listening to it after her “back geerl” request, she sings all of the words, even the bad ones…her fave line is “It’s my sh**, It’s my sh**!” We laugh when she does it, so she keeps saying it because she’s a ham.

One day last week, she was helping me get ready in the morning. The babysitter was already there, but Court kept coming back to visit me. I open one of the cabinets that has safe stuff for her to play with and she proceeded to pull out my box of tampons…every single one of the tampons and ran down the hall to show the babysitter her “tacos”. I’m not sure why she called them that. But she sure was having a good time with them. I’m just glad she didn’t try to eat them!

The kid loves to sing and dance. She doesn’t know all the words, but that doesn’t stop her from pretending. She’ll dance to any music, even from commercials, but now she grabs my hand and tells me to say “Go, Courtney! Go, Courtney!”. She digs the encouragement and LOVES the attention. I definitely have one serious drama queen on my hands!

2006-01-25T19:22:00.000-08:00

Only Day 5?

Only 8 more to go! I'm taking the term "one day at a time" to a whole other level.

It was going pretty well until last night. I don't know if Court is teething, was hungry, had a belly ache, or just sensed that her father isn't around, but she put me through such a bad night that I'm now pretty sure I don't want another child! Sleep is just too valuable! She's been going right down every night, basically falling over in exhaustion from playing with Papa and Auntie all week and last night she went right down also. But staying asleep has been a bit of an issue. She first woke up at 3 AM. I could hear her talking to herself pretty quietly in her room and every couple of minutes she would gently call for me. I ignored her for awhile and then realized that she wasn't going back down that easily. I knew that she didn't eat much dinner and that she was probably hungry, so going against my better judgement, I went in there to give her a bottle. Of course, she was over the moon and proceeded to suck it down pretty quickly and ask for more. I pretended I didn't hear her and just sat in the room with her for awhile to try to soothe her back to sleep. Well, a half an hour later, I gave up and gave her another half bottle. Then, she wanted me to sit down and hold her little hand through the bars of the crib. She has been asking me to do that as a source of comfort since I tried taking the bottle away. She's been doing it a lot this week since her father left town. I was more than happy to do it because it's really the sweetest thing in the world. Then, I rubbed her back and she turned to me with those big blue eyes and said "thank you". My heart just melted. By now, it was almst 4 AM, though and I was freezing and really, really tired. I told her it was time for night-night and I was in the next room and that I loved her and got up and left. I think she fell asleep shortly thereafter. However, it took me almost an hour to fall back asleep after shaking of the chill and winding back down. At 5:30, she startled me back awake screaming bloody murder, so I ran in there and she was really upset about something. I hugged her and rubbed her back and she passed back out about 2 minutes later. But, by then, I my adrenaline was freaking out. It was probably just a bad dream or something, but I thought she was hurt or something when I first heard her.

I didn't go back to sleep after that. She moaned in her sleep from 6 to 6:30 and then was back up for good at 7AM, ready to tackle the day. Mommy, on the other hand, has been a freakin' zombie all day today. It really brought me back to the newborn days and I was traumatized all over again. At least when Casey is here, we trade off on those nights where she wakes up more than once like that. I don't have the luxury of a backup for right now. It's just me, the multitasking queen! I'll probably go to bed tonight at 8:30 just in case we have a repeat performance of last night.

The thing is, she's been an absolute joy otherwise. She's cheerful in the mornings and evenings with me, and her babysitter says that she's "muy contenta" all day long. She has been napping a little bit more, but probably because she's not sleeping very well at night.

Gosh, I can't wait until my husband comes home. I promise I will appreciate him so much more when he gets back...well at least for a week after he gets back.

Latest cuteism:
I wanted to give her a bubble bath last night but I didn't have any baby bubble bath. So, I got desparate and used my Victoria's Secret "Crimson Kisses" bubble bath. It smelled like a brothel in the bathroom, and it didn't help that she kept grabbing the bubbles and provocatively rubbing them all over her body and saying "ooohhhh, mommy". It was obvious that she was copying what I do in the shower so I just kept telling her "good girl" I'm glad Casey wasn't there to see it!

2006-01-23T19:07:00.000-08:00

Day 2 and Counting...

My husband left yesterday for his 2 week training class in Florida.
I'm lonely already! How am I going to make it through the next 11 days? Fortunately, the Monster is going through an abnormally easy stage, so much so, I feel bad calling her "the monster". I don't know if she's going through a growth spurt or what, but she's sleeping A LOT and is eating me out of house and home. She eats ALL DAY. At least she eats healthy stuff, so I'm not worried. Her legs seem to have stretched out overnight and she's losing her baby fat. It makes me sad! But her pants fit better now that her legs aren't quite so stubby so that's a good thing. I was having trouble finding clothes that fit because the pants that fit her in the waist were always WAY too long.

I'm rambling because I just seem to be out of sorts. Of course, she woke up last night, which she never does, and was up for nearly an hour singing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star". It's almost like she senses that things are different and that her father is gone for awhile.

Thank god I have my family and sister-in-law to help out this week. It's fiscal yearend in the finance world, so I will be putting in long hours the next 2 weeks, so I have to depend on them to pick up the monster from daycare at 5 every day. This is an official shoutout to my dad and sister-in-law!

So, I will be at my parents' a lot during the weekends. Yesterday was fun. Court was playing with my nephew, who is almost 2, and it brought tears to my eyes to see them interact with each other. My daughter looks exactly like me and Bubba (just a nickname, don't worry, his parents didn't actually name him "Bubba), looks exactly like my brother, so it was surreal and took me WAY back in time. They really love each other, I think. They're always hugging and kissing, but Court is WAY bossy. The funny thing is that Bubba just kind of mellowly lets her boss him around even though he's like twice her size (hence the nickname Bubba!). She kept grabbing his hand and saying "Let's go, Bubba". Or telling to "Be careful, Bubba". or "Bubba, stop it!". He was laying on the ground watching tv and she just sat on his stomach like it was no big deal. He didn't seem to mind! We were worried that Bubba would pick on her but I think we need to worry about her! Gosh, she reminds me of me! She means business!

Cuteisms:
She sings all day long! She makes up songs while she's playing. They are usually about our dog Zoe, who she calls Sissy, or food or her dolls. It's so damned cute, I can hardly stand it. But it's not as cute in the middle of the night.

Whenever I go over a speed bump with her in the car, she tells me to "be careful, mommy". I guess she doesn't like it when I go too fast.

Lately, when she doesn't like something, she shakes her head and says "don't like it" or "don't want it". Ok, maybe this isn't as cute!

2006-01-17T13:30:00.000-08:00

The Calm Before the Storm?

Things are going surprisingly well. Court has regressed a little with the bottle in that she seems to want it more often than before we took it away. We sweetly tell her no, only at night-night time, but then she wants to go to bed even if it's like 5PM! So, we give her milk in a sippy, and she forgets that she even wanted milk in the first place!

She's sleeping great at night and naptime. She slept for like 3 hours on Sunday and I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. I toyed with the idea of doing some chores, but decided on a short nap instead! That always seems to win out over the other options. After an hourlong snooze, I proceeded to watch the NFL playoff games and catch up on my celebrity gossip magazines. I treasure those moments!

I know this seems negative and ungrateful, but I can't help but feel like things may just be too good to be true right now. We always experience peaceful times like these, and then BAM! The other shoe drops. Teething, stomach flu, temper tantrums, sleeping issues, you name it. This time, I'm almost certain the good behavior will not last because my husband is leaving this Sunday for 13 days to Florida for training classes for work. I'll be a single mom for 13 whole days! I'm actually in denial right now that this is even going to occur, but I will try to avoid any sort of breakdown this time when reality sets in.

Latest cuteisms:

She asks for peas, pickles, supita (chicken soup) and all other kinds of inappropriate foods for breakfast every day. How do you explain to a 17-month old that they shouldn't eat olives first thing in the morning? You don't! You just give it to them.

She's taken to calling my name from the other side of the house when she is demanding my immediate attention. Not mommy, but "MONICA". My husband insists he didn't teach her this, but I sure as hell didn't. This one is not as cute. I've insisted she call me mommy or mama. She thinks it's hilarious when I "insist" she do anything.

She's recently stopped eating her crayons. I couldn't understand why such a "genius" child would do this, but she sure thought they were yummy. It's much easier to keep her entertained in a restaurant now that she loves to color the child menus at the table. However, she's now started to color on things besides paper, so coloring is only an "outside of the house" sort of an activity for now.

She's still obssessed with boobs, which I think is strange since I never nursed her, but she's taken it to a whole new level. She asks me to show her my "chi-chi's" or put lotion on my chi-chi's in front of company as if it's a party trick. I'm sure it's not the last embarrassing thing my child will do.

And last but not least, when I get home from work, she's so happy, she literally runs around in circles with her head back, claps and says "yay!" If that's not a wonderful welcome, I don't know what is! She's also begun putting her hands above her head and twirling in circles to music on her tippy toes. Do we have a future ballerina on her hands? I hate to say this, but I hope not!

2006-01-09T09:22:00.000-08:00

Parenting Mistake #4,285

And I'm sure it won't be the last...
I caved and gave Court back the bottle. She just wasn't improving and the fact that she was scared to death of her crib really upset me. It took about a week, but now she's back to normal...2 bottles a day. I'll try again in a couple of months. I just don't think she was ready and no one was going to convince me that what I was doing was in her best interest. No one can make that decision but Casey and I. At her 18 month well-check, we are just going to straight up lie to the doctor and say she's off the bottle. I just don't want to keep having that same conversation.

So, we have our wonderful little girl back. No more temper tantrums. I'm also working on making her less clingy and dependent on me. She only wants me if I'm around. No one can change her diaper, make her sandwich, comb her hair, or play with her dolls like mommy! She doesn't even give Casey a chance. I need to be firmer about not doing everything she wants. She'll just walk up to me, put her hand out and say "hand", and I'm supposed to grab her hand and go wherever she takes me. The sad thing is, until recently, I'd just grab her hand, no questions asked, and go. That's probably not the best thing for her. Real life isn't quite so simple. We were just so happy when she learned to talk and was able to convey her needs and wants that we just sort of did whatever she said. We created a monster

In fact, that's what we've been calling her. "The Monster". People will ask us to do things and we'll be like "ok, but can we bring the monster". Most people say yes, and actually would rather see her than us, but some people without children really don't get how much our schedule has to revolve around her right now. I'm hesitant to get a babysitter too much on the weekends since I'm away from her all week. And I refuse to go somewhere until she's had her nap, because she will become an even bigger monster if she's too tired. Ahhh, such is life! What's great about naptime, though on the weekends is that mommy gets to take a nap too! I hope she naps until she's like 5!

Well, now that the monster is getting bigger by the minute, I went through her mess of a closet and cleaned out all of the clothes that no longer fit her. I am giving away 4 garbage bags full of baby clothes and the kid is not even a year and a half old. That was evidence of overindulging and overspending right in front of my face in black and white. It's so hard to not buy all those cute clothes for such a pretty little girl, but I need to set some limits. That was just ridiculous. I saved one bag of nice, expensive clothes for her little sister that may or may not ever come to fruition, as well as the outfit she came home from the hospital in, dresses she took portraits in, and any other special stuff. I hold up these tiny little things and can't believe she ever fit into them! It makes me a little sad, but I'm so enjoying this stage now, that I don't believe I really miss the baby stuff.

Latest cuteisms:
When my husband ignores her pleas for attention, she goes up to his face and says "Case!" Because that's what mommy does.
She was around a 9 month old baby boy on Saturday and when he started crying, she went up to him and said "do you want a baba, k?" It was soooo damned adorable.

She's a constant source of entertainment.

2006-01-02T10:57:00.000-08:00

I am in bottle hell!

Well, Christmas was wonderful. Court got ridiculously spoiled by her grandparents. She got dolls, a table and chairs, a playhouse for outside, books, videos, a tea set, clothes...I have to rearrange my entire house just to find room for all her new crap! It's also time to give away some of her "baby stuff", as sadly, she's not much of a baby anymore.

When she woke up Christmas morning and saw all her stuff under the tree, her expression was priceless. I will have to upload the pics this week. We didn't wrap anything, because she's not into unwrapping presents yet, but she quickly realized that all that stuff belonged to her! She smiled, with her hair all askew and her puffy sleepy time eyes, and said "ahh! Mommy, Mira!" She didn't know what to play with first. It was wonderful and everything I hoped it would be. I can't wait until next year, when she might understand the whole Santa concept for the first time.

We let her have a couple of bottles on Christmas day, but I was dreading the upcoming week of trying to wean her from the bottle. I started feeling sick Sunday with a bad head cold and cough, so Casey took her to his brother's on Monday so that I could stay home and rest. So, she slept in the car, without needing the bottle. She doesn't ask for it at all during the day. It's just a crutch for her to relax and go to sleep at naptime and at night. So, we decided to give her a sippy cup of milk at night to help her go to sleep. While they were gone on monday, I packed away all her bottles, save for one emergency "baba", and cried the entire time at the idea that my little girl was growing up. Monday night was the first try and we made a big deal about giving her her "big girl baba". It seemed to work and Casey got her to sleep in 20 minutes, but she was pretty exhausted from playing with her cousin all day. Could it be that easy? Was it just a fluke? Sadly, yes it was.

Casey went back to work on Tuesday and I hesistantly began my week as a stay at home mom. Unfortunately, Casey had to stay out of town until Wednesday for work, but I really was all alone with this new daunting task. Spending time with her was wonderful, but she gets bored of mommy pretty quickly, so we went to my parents late in the morning to hang out. She fell asleep in the car, which sucks because it means it will be harder to get her to take a nap later in the day. But, I tried anyway, around 2 pm, to give her a nap at my parents, and she proceeded to have the biggest temper tantrum, in the history of all temper tantrums. She acted like a crazy girl for like 45 minutes, throwing herself on the ground, shaking her head back and forth and screaming "no, no, no" over and over again. My parents were looking at me with fear in their eyes because they've never seen a child so little throw such a fit. It was embarrassing, but I just left her alone because she was inconsolable. She didn't want anyone to touch her or talk to her.

So, I gave up, and my dad came home with me to keep me company while Casey was away, and she fell asleep in the car on the way home again! I bravely tried again that night, but she flipped out again, so I just left her in her crib to cry it out. She threw everything out of her crib. I knew this was occurring, because I could hear her count "1-2-3" every time she threw something. She insists on counting it off every time she throws something, whether in anger or fun. I went in there several times and everything was out of her crib. I finally caved and put a bottle in her crib and about 15 minutes later, there was silence. I went in there and she was asleep with both arms wrapped around her empty bottle. Maybe she's just not ready. This seems pretty cruel. I'm a horrible mother. All these things were running through my head. But I vowed to try again the next day

The next day proved no easier. I tried it at naptime and let her cry for 45 minutes until she fell asleep with her arms around her new doll. I didn't cave this time, but I didn't feel better about it. She was scared and started crying the minute I walked into her room with her and had to peel her away from me to put her in her crib. She's never been like that. She loved to go night-night and loved being in her room. I was ruining all that for her...for us. Was it really worth it in order to follow some arbitrary guidelines/deadlines set forth by a pediatrician who barely knows her?

That night she fell asleep in the car on the way home from my parents, and she stayed asleep as I transferred her into her crib. Thank god! A reprieve!

I stubbornly tried again the next day at naptime, and as I sat in the hallway outside her room sobbing as I listened to my little girl, crying "mommy, mommy" over agin, I said enough is enough. I brought her out and apologized to her. We cuddled on the couch and a half hour later I put her in her crib with her bottle and she fell fast asleep. I called my husband to tell him what I did and he was furious, but I didn't care.

We talked later and we decided that taking both bottles away from her cold turkey, was not right for her and we vowed to try and transition her away from the bottle at nighttime and keep her naptime bottle for awhile. Casey was successful in giving her her big girl baba again and read to her until she went to sleep bottle free. He's been able to do that pretty much ever since, though it takes a little longer. She seems to be over the bottle withdrawal, but is still a little traumatized by the crying it out I let her do last week. She's still a little scared at first when we put her down and has had a couple of tantrums, even one in the middle of the night new year's eve for 2 hours! But I'm hoping she'll get over it and start to feel safe and secure again. I regret doing what I did, and I don't feel right about it. I succumbed to the pressure of the pediatrician and other uppity mothers. Instead, I should continue to follow the cues of my daughter, which has never led me astray.

We'll keep chipping away at it, but I refuse to abide by any deadlines. She's still just a baby, no matter how grown up she acts, and I shouldn't lose sight of it. It pains me to say this, but my mother was right AGAIN! I hate that!

2005-12-22T11:13:00.000-08:00

Who Am I? Where Am I? and What am I doing?

That's how I've been feeling lately. Things at work have been crazy and Casey is working late almost every night. I'm trying to find the time to get my work done, clean my house, play with my kid, spend time with my husband....There's just not enough time in the day. As a longtime overachiever, it's hard for me to not do everything in my life as perfectly as I can, but I've finally had to say "enough is enough". I'll do the best I can. This means, only cleaning the hardwood floors twice a week instead of 4, giving Courtney peanut butter and jelly for dinner sometimes, and watching a DVD at home with Casey as a date instead of going out. I have to stop feeling bad about myself for not meeting my own expectations and I really need to start ignoring the criticisms of others. There are a couple women I know, that to my face, act like they agree with some of the stuff I say and do and then go behind my back and voice their real opinion about how they would NEVER do some of the stuff I do or give their child what I give Courtney. Too much tv, too much processed food, not enough of an immune system because I didn't breastfeed, too long on the bottle....STOP THE MADNESS PEOPLE AND GET A LIFE! Worry about your own kid!

Of course, among all this craziness, something has to go REALLY wrong. A week after Courtney's shots, she developed a red, swollen bump near one of her shot sites and had a relatively high fever for a few days. My parents took her to the doctor for me, (because Casey and I were both swamped at work...thank god for grandparents) and the doctor was actually quite concerned. The prolonged fever is not a normal side effect of her immunizations, so she put her on a really strong antibiotic for a leg infection. That was scary! But she started feeling better after a couple of days taking the medicine. I felt bad leaving her every day, but I didn't have much of a choice. Then, a mild fever came back, and just as I was about to freak out and take her back to the doctor, I noticed that she had cut two molars! Poor thing. What a trouper she is. She always tries so hard to be happy. These last few days, she's been throwing a lot of tantrums, but I'm cutting her a little slack until after Christmas...

I'm off all next week and we're doing away with the bottle cold turkey! It's really the only way to do it and just be done with it. It will not be pretty, but the doctor is pretty adamant about getting her off it. If we wait too much longer it's just going to make it that much harder! I'm sure I'll be posting several times next week, venting and updating on the progress. Wish me luck!

Christmas will be a ton of fun! I overindulged her, but my parents really are spoiling her! She is such an angel with them and makes them so happy, especially my father. We're all going to turn her into a monster. We all cater to her because now that she can tell us exactly what she wants, we just run around and get it for her! And if we don't, she voices her displeasure. My husband finally just told her last week, "you are not the boss of this house" and she kind of gave him a look that said "yeah, right, now get me my cheerios you yahoo!"

Below are her latest pics...what a ham!
Happy holidays!

2005-12-05T15:37:00.000-08:00

15 Month Checkup

Overall, it went really well. She weighs 23.5 pounds and is 29" long. She is in the 50th percentile in height and 75th in weight. So, basically, she is short and stout! The doctor was extremely impressed with her mobility, coordination and especially, her vocabulary. We did get chewed out for her still being on the bottle. She gave us a deadline of Christmas to get her off it. I don't like those kinds of deadlines! So, I will give it a shot when I'm off work for a week during Christmastime. We really should have done this earlier, but we've been dreading it since day one!

Then, at the end of the appointment, she had to get 5 different shots. My husband took her into the back room, because I just can't handle it. Then I hear her screaming and crying to the nurse "All done, all done, all done". It was soooo pitiful. Then Casey came out with tears in his eyes. He felt she had looked right into his soul as if to say "how could you let her do that to me?". Then, the nurse asked if she could have a lollipop. Casey said no, because I normally don't let her have any candy, but I immediately said yes. I let Casey give it to her so he could make peace and she immediately shut up. She was sooo happy on the way to my mom's. She knew exactly what to do with that lollipop. She called it her "pipipop!" It was so precious.

She has been a lot of fun these last few weeks. And she's just so charming with everyone. Yesterday we were over our friends' house that have a 4 month old baby, and she was bouncing her on her bouncy, saying "wheeeee!". She loves babies. She'll just have to play with other people's babies, because I don't plan on having any more! And that's ok. I have a beautiful, perfect little girl, who is the center of my universe. When and if I feel there's something missing in my family, I will cross that bridge then!

2005-11-28T10:35:00.000-08:00

Is this what being rested feels like?

I really can't remember. I've been compensated for the year of hell Courtney put me through because now she is just an angel of a sleeper. I know I'm probably jinxing myself by writing this, but I really feel the need to celebrate! She sleeps from 8PM to 7AM every morning and takes one nap a day for 2-3 hours! She's a much happier child because of it, and we are much happier parents. It makes the time I spend with her more enjoyable because we're both not so cranky from being overly tired.

The bottle weaning, on the other hand, is not going so well. Still 2 a day. I've decided to not obsess....yeah like that's going to happen!

Her speech is continuing to improve. She repeats the last word of every sentence I say. So, the other day when I told her that I was changing her shirt because it was too tight and it made her look like a hoochie, she proceede to say "hoochie" for the next hour as we're shopping in Target. Nice! And last week, when I changed the ring on my cell phone to the Gwen Stefani song "Hollaback Girl", she asked that we play it "Again! Again! Again!" Then busted out in the chorus..."hollaback geerlll!" It was a very proud moment. She has a very bad lisp because she's tongue-tied, meaning the flap of skin connecting her tongue to her mouth is too close to the tip of her tongue. We'd been warned when she was born it could affect her speech, but we opted not to get the skin cut, in hopes the tongue would grow and the problem would improve. Well, it hasn't much, so I hope she doesn't have to go to speech therapy or anything. I'm having flashbacks to the Brady Bunch episode where Cindy Brady gets teased for her lisp "baby talk, baby talk, it's a wonder you can walk!" I guess there are worse things.

Well, that's it for now. I was going to post a photo taken last Wednesday at the portrait studio, but when I inserted the CD with the proofs on it, I was suddenly looking at this tiny, hispanic baby that was definitely not mine! I'm hoping they didn't give ours to someone else. The idea of someone else looking at photos of my little girl on their computer is creeping my husband out!

2005-11-18T11:28:00.000-08:00

The Hug Game

Things have been hectic in the Houtz household because we've had contractors finally installing our new floors after an unfortunate plumbing mishap last month. The babysitter has been watching Court at her house and her routine has been majorly thrown off. I've created a creature of habit (much like myself) and she doesn't respond well to change. This is good and bad. Good because her schedule has helped her sleep and eat better and because we can all predict how the day will unfold, more or less. It's bad because it's made her a bit..umm..."inflexible", if you will. It really killed the bottle weaning process this week. When she's upset or out of sorts, she cries for her baba as her one and only comfort item (besides me, that is). So, I've relented and she's back to 3 or 4 bottles a day, after getting her down to 2. Sucks, but it is what it is. I went online to find some mothers in similar situations so that I can get some advice, and all I get is responses from zealous stay-at-home moms going on and on about how their kids have been off the bottle since they were like 10 months. Now, how is that supposed to be helpful? Don't these women have better things to do than make other moms feel bad? They should just concentrate on mothering their perfect children...Ok...vent over! I'm just boycotting that site.

There are some awesome things going on, though. Courtney is continuing to blossom into this incredible little girl (wow, I sound like Tom Cruise gushing over Katie Holmes)., but it's true. She will constantly say the last word in whatever sentence you just finished. She is stringing together 2-3 words into her own little mini-sentences. "mommy, elmo book". "mommy, up night-night". Of course, all her sentences start with mommy! She also loves to say her name. She'll run down the hall and I'll yell"Courtney" where are you? and she'll yell "Courtney" back because she thinks it's a game. Only when she says it, she sounds like she's from Boston. Her R's aren't very pronounced. It's cute.

The best thing that's going on is that she now LOVES to give hugs. It's become a game in the morning. I'll put my arms up and say "big hug" and she runs into my arms and gives me the biggest bear hug. We'll do that like 20 times in a row. I can't even describe the feeling. It's neat to see her develop these new desires to show affection. You know your kid loves you, but it's better to have them show it. It brightens my day no matter how much my house is in disarray!

2005-11-15T20:11:00.000-08:00

Where does the time go?

My life is a blur! I wake up between 6 and 6:30, feed and change Court, feed the dogs, make Court's lunch, lay out her clothes for the day, try and shower before the babysitter gets there, but that doesn't usually happen. When the she gets to my house at 8AM, I am usually sitting on the couch watching Playhouse Disney with Court on my lap, feeding her Cheerios, in my pajamas and my hair all askew. I would normally be embarrassed having someone see me like that, but I pick my battles...trying to blow dry my hair and put makeup on with a 14 month old clinging to my leg, is just not one of them!

The current battle du jour is weaning my little angel from the bottle. It is supposed to be done by the time she's 15 months old (that's in 16 days) per her pediatrician. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! She's down to 2 bottles a day normally, for her naptime and bedtime, but when she's upset about her routine being changed or is cutting a tooth, all she wants is her bottle. It's the one comfort item she's ever had. No pacifier, blanky, dirty teddy bear...just her baba! Unfortunately, it's the worst thing healthwise. I lay in bed worrying about her teeth rotting while she sleeps! I go online and see these disgusting photos of "bottlemouth" that literally make my stomach turn. But I'm just not ready to force the issue. In most ways, it's awesome that she can tell me exactly what she wants now that her communication skills are better than most 2-year olds (I'm not exaggerating), but it sucks in some ways because it's harder to say now, when she asks for things so pitifully!

She is down to one nap a day, and it's awesome, because it's for like 2-3 hours. You can get a lot done in that time, but most of the time, I just take a nap myself! I missed those naps! Used to be my favorite thing in the world to do! Might still be!

Halloween was fun. Did the trick or treating thing. She was a beautiful butterfuly running down the sidewalk. When she gets excited, as she did that night, her right arm swings really fast back and forth in front of her body, like she's saying "Clear a path people, I'm on a mission". It's hilarious. I'll attach a photo soon of her in her cute little costume.

Otherwise, things are going great. Getting plenty of sleep. Enjoying the heck out of the conversations I have with my daughter. We're having conversations now! She can say just about anything now....in two languages no less. I will have to update more often now that quarterend is over at work because I can't possibly remember all the cute things she's done the last 2 weeks.

2005-10-26T10:10:00.000-07:00

Little Adult

We took Court to Target this weekend (a working mom's paradise) and I realized just how much she watches and emulates me. She was walking around the aisles (as she will not stay in her stroller much anymore), grabbing the clothes off the racks and saying "cute". I was cracking up.

My brother bought her a miniature grocery cart with little groceries and that's her new favorite toy. She takes the groceries in and out of the cart a million times a day, picks up the packages and pretends to read the labels. I know she gets that from me!

She's also doing this little hair flip thing that freaks me out because it's like she's this little Monica clone. Scary! Can the world really handle another one of me?

We even have matching hairdos. Her hair is getting so long, I really don't know what to do with it. It's not long enough for pigtails, so most days she gets this big Pebbles pom-pom on the top of her head to keep the hair out of her face. The pics below show some of her bad (and one good) hair days.

2005-10-25T18:34:00.000-07:00

Too cute

I really need to update this more often. Too much cute stuff is going on and I'm forgetting it all!
I'll start with an update on her everexpanding vocabulary:

vamonos - grabs my hand and pulls me where she wants to go, with a little flip of her hair
Courtney - Puts her hands on her chest and says her name and claps for herself. I was worried she wouldn't know her name, since we call her everything but her name, and every person has a different nickname for her, so my husband was determined to teach her. She's not real good with the "c" sound so right now, it sounds like "Ourney", but it's a start
Einsteins! - Loves the new Little Einstein program, so I bought the video. It's so cute that we actually turned off the Monday Night Football game last night so she could watch it because she asked so darned nicely.
Uncle - she used to hate my brother but seems to be warming up to him as late. Thank goodness!
Uh-oh Spagetti-o - Just adorable. But I need to explain to her that when she throws her cup of cheerios on the ground on purpose, this does not constitute an "uh-oh".
Thankyou-Welcome - she says it altogether now that she knows the sequence. She figures she'll get the entire thing out of the way from the beginning.

We've also hit quite a milestone in the Houtz household! She now takes naps in her crib at home. You have no idea how happy this makes me. It was causing me major stress! She's winding down to one nap a day, so her schedule is all over the place, but the one constant now is that her nap will be in her crib.

Our current battle is her frequent bouts of constipation. I know this is a gross subject, but such is life. Since we switched her to whole milk, every bowel movement seems painful and difficult. She goes stiff and if she's standing up, she just falls over and stays stiff on the ground in an almost pushup position. It's really quite pitiful. I've tried daily does of prune juice and that doesn't seem to be helping. Who knew that my husband and I's lives would revolve around baby poop! If she goes, we get all excited and a good day is had by all. If she doesn't, we talk about how she didn't go and anxiously await her next one. Wow, we need to get more of a life.

Till next time

2005-10-18T16:31:00.000-07:00

We're Back from "Bacation"

That's what Courtney called it. We went to Palm Desert to visit my father-in-law for a week. It was our first family vacation. I have to admit I was pretty nervous. As usual, I obssessed about the sleeping situation: How will we get her to nap without the big stroller? What if she wants to sleep with us in that tiny guestroom bed? Do you think your dad will get up with her in the morning? Turns out my worry was for not. She was amazing. Went right down in the port-a-crib at night and slept all night every night. She napped twice a day every day, even for my FIL one day when he watched her for us. She had a great time, though we battled bouts of crankiness due to a stubborn tooth breaking through on the bottom. I'm exhausted, though! Seven days straight chasing after a 14 month old is no walk in the park, let me tell you. I can tell you that I treasured every moment, but that would just be an out and out lie. I'm sure that sounds terrible, but I'm just being honest.

Despite my post vacation exhaustion, we all really did have a good time, especially Court who had 4 grown people fawning all over her 24-7.
Day 1: spent hours spending a small fortune at the Palm Springs Outlets on baby clothes. $400 later, I realized I only bought myself an $8 T-shirt. But Court got some really cute Skechers that light up on the bottom. A definite must-have!
Day 2: The living desert. Palm Desert's version of a zoo. It was freakin' hot, but she didn't seem to care, as she brushed every single goat in the place...TWICE.

Day 3: Tried swimming in the pool. She wasn't having it. I'm stressed, of course. We spent a ton of money on swim lessons last spring, and now she's afraid of the water. Maybe she's only afraid of cold water...she's used to a pool heated to 90 degrees. I'm hoping that's what it is, but you can be sure that I will soon be placing a call to Fremont Swim School to book her for the winter session. But, she did look cute running around in her diaper. As soon as I took it off so she could wade around naked, she peed on the ground. Not quite housebroken!

Day 4: A break at last! The in-laws took her for a day. They were so excited and I gave in despite my initial worry-wart, overprotective reservations, because I was desparate for some time with my husband. So Casey and I went to lunch and gambled at one of the local Indian Casinos. He won $700 playing cards, which paid for the trip (except for the outlet spending spree), and we came home to a napping child! My FIL rocks! They took her to a children's play museum and to the park. I guess their plan was to fully exhaust her until she fell over into a nap. Well, it worked.
The pic below is one they took of her dressing up as a vet. I don't think she liked it, but it made for a great picture!

We basically chilled the rest of the week and took a ton of pics. I'll close off this entry with my current fave!
Also..I should mention that the pic of Courtney and my FIL at the track won 3rd place in an online photo contest!

2005-10-04T18:00:00.000-07:00

Mother's Groups

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for mommy's groups, whether they be live or online. I just don't like the way they make me feel sometimes. I go to BabyCenter to chat online or visit the boards and most of the time, I get really helpful information, but some other times, I leave feeling like an inadequate mother, and I can't help but think that's exactly how some of these other mothers would like me to feel. I go on about how frustrated or concerned I am about a situation and solicit feedback from others in similar circumstances and I get responses like "well, I can't relate because my child is so perfect, blah, blah, blah" "how can you feed your child prepared food...they have their whole lives to eat junk" "you put your child down with a bottle...don't you follow the Weissbluth technique?" "You mean to tell me you didn't buy the Britax carseat?" "Well, Sally walked and talked at 9 months, is your kid a retard or something?" I'm exaggerating a little, but not a whole lot! Our children will have the rest of their lives to be exposed to competition among other children or between adults. How can we in good conscience begin subjecting them to it now in order to fulfill our own disgusting need to feel adequate? It's made me obssessed with trivial things like sippy cups, naptimes, shoes, diapers...I mean, are these really the important things about motherhood?

Well, enough ranting, I guess. I will just tune out the naysayers and focus on the support I do get from some of the really wonderful mothers I know. I get some really great advice, but I usually like it when I actually ASK for it.

Speaking of advice...It's been suggested that we purchase Court her very first POTTY! Lately, she's been telling us that she's peeing. My husband hasn't quite gotten that yet. The other night he was drawing her bath and she said "pee-pee" He then proceeded to take off her diaper and she peed all over the floor! She's also tugging at her diaper. I have no delusions that she will be potty-trained anytime soon. I just want her to get used to the idea that she has her own potty. Now the really important question....do I get the Dora the Explorer or Elmo potty chair? I'm sure there's a discussion board somewhere arguing about that very decision right now!

2005-09-27T18:19:00.000-07:00

Learning Curve

I know it's only been a year, but looking back, I realize that I have already made a TON of parenting mistakes. Most of these I didn't know any better, some I knew better but did them anyway, and the remaining errors in judgement have been pointed out to me by others (unsolicited).

I didn't realize that the amount of hours I've spent on the floor playing with her would actually hinder her sense of independence and ability to entertain herself! She can't do anything without wanting me to be a part of it. I'm not so bothered by this as I am by the fact that she will not eat very well in her highchair. My husband and I do not eat at the kitchen table, but rather in front of the TV on trays. I know, I know, not good for family dynamics, blah, blah, blah. So, she likes to run around and come to us every couple minutes to get a bite of food. We've set a bad example. I should have started her on the sippy cup earlier because now, it's a bit of a battle. But I didn't realize how early it's recommended to introduce the cup. She was just so small at 5 months.

The other bigger mistakes, which I'm paying dearly for now, were more conscious decisions to go against my better judgement and expert advice everywhere! We bring Courtney into our bed sometimes early in the mornings and she sleeps with us for a couple of hours. It's really the only way we can sleep in and we just get so desparate for sleep that we are willing to do just about anything. Surprisingly, this hasn't affected her sleeping habits too much. I actually think she's not that crazy about sleeping with us. I also let her have her way if she whines too much...I've even been known to offer her a cookie to shut her up! When I told this to my boss, he just looked at me, shook his head and said "rewarding bad behavior, shame on you!". Yeah, Yeah, I know! Because of this, she has mastered the art of the temper tantrum, and now I must take back control! Also due to lack of sleep, we got her used to only napping in her stroller. At the time, again, we were desparate and then, she just became accustomed to it, so now we're stuck!

Others love to tell us when we've messed up. My mom tells me that I've spoiled her too much, my boss tells me I need to institute the timeout, random strangers give me the stinkeye in the store when she starts to whine a little, (when I know that they really want me to do is smack her). Surrounded by all these experts, you would think I would be the perfect mom...NOT!

2005-09-26T15:46:00.000-07:00

Precocious is an understatement!

I am continually amazed by how aware and engaged Court is on a daily basis. She's like this miniature adult with stubby legs. She doesn't stop talking from the moment she awakes in the morning (very casually saying "MOM!" into the monitor to get my attention) to the time she goes to bed and says "night, night". Things have changed from her merely mimicking (sp?) us to actually knowing what she's communicating. It must be a great relief for her to be able to tell us what she's feeling or what she wants, though there is some frustration when we still don't give her everything she wants. She looks at us incredulously as if to say "but I said PLEASE!"

She knows most of her body parts, she counts to 3 on her fingers (she's actually copying a Baby Einstein video...she has no idea what counting means), she pretends to read books out loud in this matter of fact tone of voice, she points to pictures on the fridge and identifies me, Casey and my parents (papa and nana). My husband farted last night and Court laughed and made a raspberry sound with her mouth. That was a first also, but I'm not quite as proud of that one! I'm starting to lose track of all the cute things she's doing. I might have to post more often.

My parents took her to Chuck E Cheese for the first time on saturday and she had a blast! Apparently, she dragged my dad around by the finger to all the different toddler rides and was in love with the Chuck E Cheese puppets performing on stage, pointing to the them and yelling "Mira, Mira" (Spanish for "Look"). What a character! My mom said she is constantly being stopped by strangers who tell her how breathtakingly beautiful she is, especially her big blue eyes. It's strange because Casey and I aren't exactly extraordinarily goodlooking people, so I guess our genes meshed pretty well! She got all the traits from my husband that I wanted her to get (and I few personality quirks I hoped she wouldn't). I don't believe anyone really wants their child to be miniature versions of themselves, at least I don't, so I'm glad she's a good mixture of us both! Can't wait to see what develops next!

2005-09-21T13:52:00.000-07:00

Courtney Gone Wild!

She is learning about her body parts, like her nose, eyes and mouth, but she's also been interested in mine and Casey's body parts too lately. So, the other day, I was getting ready to take a shower and I had her in the bathroom playing with her toys (I was home alone, and desperate for a shower). She's seen me naked tons of time, but this time, she was really staring at boobs as if she's never seen them before. I never nursed her, so she has been pretty unfamiliar with them thus far. She grabbed by boob and said "what sa?" I told her they were mommy's Chi Chis (spanish slang for breasts). Then I showed her where Courtney's chichis were and she was absolutely enthralled with the whole idea. Ever since, she's been going around pointing to mine, Casey's, my mom's and lifting her own shirt up to show hers and chanting "chichis, chichis, chichis". It's her new favorite word! Great...

A couple of days ago, she saw Casey get out of the shower...pointed to his "you know what" and made the sound of a monkey. I'm not really sure what that was about, but it was hilarious. We are now a little more modest about Casey's nudity in front of her. It's sad that she's getting older and we have to think about those things now, but it's a reality we must face. We have to start thinking about how we want to address the subject of our bodies and sexuality with a little girl in the house. I certainly don't want her to be a prude or uncomfortable about her body, but I don't want her to be flashing random strangers either! Raising a daughter is touchy stuff! I don't want her to end up as screwed as I am about her body image.

That's my philosophizing for now.
Please see new pics below. One of Court with Casey's dad studying the racing form at the race track a couple of weeks ago. And one of her pretending to be a ghost after her bath. It's her new favorite pasttime. She actually covers her face with her towel and walks around saying boo, bumping into walls, falling down and cracking up about it. Not sure what's so entertaining about it, I always like to hear her laugh!

2005-09-10T21:27:00.000-07:00

MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY!

I stayed home with Court these last 2 days because her babysitter is in Mexico visiting family on a much needed vacation. When she gets back, I am seriously giving her a medal. This stay at home mom stuff is soooo hard. It's definitely been great spending time with her, but I think it's made her more clingy. She's already been suffering from separation anxiety these last few weeks and me being with her constantly these last few days is making it worse, I think. Oh well. It's just a phase. Though it is hard to hear her say mommy like 3000 times a day for everything, it feels great at the same time because she just loves me so much.

I went to the mall with MY mommy today and with Courtney and it was hilarious. Three generations of Alexander women tearing up the stores! We took her out of the stroller and she proceeded to run around Macy's like a child possessed. She went from makeup counter to counter and banged on the glass, looked at her reflection, pointed and said "baby". She was pretty excited. But when we made her stop she threw the biggest fit. She's gotten pretty good at those temper tantrums. She threw a big one in Target. She threw herself on the ground and flung her head back. I barely caught her time before she hit the back of her head on the hard ground. I've become one of those frazzle looking moms with a screaming, misbehaving kid in the mall. I can't believe it. I feel sorta bad for judging all those other women just like me for all those years! I have newfound respect for mothers everywhere!

Then, we bought her an outfit (rewarding bad behavior) at Gymboree. We got the skirt and shirt, so of course, we had to get the matching sweater, hat and socks! $85 later, we got the most beautiful outfit that she will only be able to fit into for the next 6 months. Money well spent.

As promised, attached are a couple of pics from her b-day party. A couple of weeks laterI am remembering the party being much more fun than I originally reported!

2005-09-07T10:10:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Baby.

I can't believe I survived the first year. It's been the most amazing, trying time of my life, but I feel as if I have emerged a good mother and a better person.

On 8/27, we had what was supposed to be a small get-together at the local park to celebrate Courtney's first birthday. It exploded into a 30 guest rager with tons of food, beer and only 3 other children present. I spent the day chasing after Court, who would not take a morning nap for me before the party, so needless to say, she was a handful. I didn't enjoy most of the party, though I am grateful for everyone who came to see my little girl and buy her a gift. I was tired, she was tired, and it was difficult to mingle, when I had to see to her every need as she was most difficult than normal. My husband was barbecuing and totally busy.

I'd like to thank Casey for doing a marvelous job with the party. We planned a barnyard animal themed party because that seems to be the only specific thing that Courtney is into. She adores her Baby Einstein Baby MacDonald video and sings along. So, we had a barnyard cake, and there was a petting zoo at the park, with a pony named Poncho that she kept dragging everyone to go visit. She would point to him and say E-I-E-I-O. She wasn't much interested in any of her guests, but she actually like the presents, well the paper anyways. She got some beautiful clothes..more little girl clothes, rather than baby clothes. She's getting so big! She got a lot of books, which are her favorite thing in the world and a couple of toys which she already loves. I caved and put sugar in her cake, though she didn't really eat it as much as she rubbed the icing all over her face. I have some great pics of the party which I will upload this week and add to the blog hopefully. They are adorable

She actually turned one on 8/28. I did a lot of reflecting that day. A little over a year ago, I was eagerly anticipating the arrival of this unknown baby, and after she was born, I spent time wondering how her personality would develop. Now, she has a very distinct personality: funny, smart, friendly, stubborn, polite. It's amazing watching this beautiful creature turn into her own person and know that you had a little something to do with it. It's an experience I almost cannot even describe.

She had her one-year well-check with her pediatrician last week. She weights 21 lbs 10 oz, and is 29" tall. The dr said she should be saying 3-5 words by the time she's 15 months old, but she listed the words in her vocabulary and she actually says 32! She's a little chatterbox and a mimic. Casey and I have really had to watch our language. No missteps yet, but she'll try to say anything we say. She has good manners also, saying please and thank you. I'm just so proud I could burst.

Ok, enough of all this sappy stuff. I promise next time I will go back to sharing cute stories, struggles and sarcastic remarks.

I will share one story this week.
I tried to give her a nectarine yesterday and she spit it out, handed it back to me and said "no....thank you". That was the first time she'd ever been so polite about not liking something. She normally throws it off the side of her highchair to the dogs, who are eagerly awaiting.

She also thinks the name of our dogs are Sissy and "No-No" when their real names are Zoe and Fred. We call Zoe Sissy, so I'm not surprised she calls her that, but I feel bad that she calls Fred "No-No". That just means that she notices that we are always yelling no at that poor dog!

She cracks me up!

2005-08-25T15:00:00.000-07:00

Mommy Who?

Well, I'm back, not that Courtney noticed much!
I went to NH for work for the past 3 days and came in late last night. I snuck into her room to watch her sleep and I swear she looked bigger laying there in her crib! She's grown since Monday!

Then, this morning I thought she'd be really excited to see me when she woke up. Not so much...I don't think children this age understand the concept of missing someone (or that's just what I'm telling myself). I expressed my concerns to my mother who then proceeded to tell me that if someone took her from me at this age, she would forget all about me! Thanks mom for the encouraging (and not at all inappropriate) comments.

Ahhh...they grow so fast. Who needs mommy! After all, she will be one this sunday. I can't believe how fast this year went by, how big she's gotten, how much she's changed, how independent she's become. It's been my honor watching her grow this year... (sniff, sniff)

2005-08-19T15:47:00.000-07:00

MARTYR MOM

Let me begin by saying that no one can take care of my daughter as well as I can, not even my husband, or my mother. With that being said, I can't be with her all the time, so I will have to settle for mediocre care (being somewhat sarcastic). I have been having trivial issues with Courtney's babysitter lately, and my husband just finallly called me on it. Every day, I find something different to complain about.

For awhile, I complained that the babysitter never dressed her in the clothes I laid out for her the night before. She watches Courtney in our home and gets there shortly after she awakes and doesn't change her out of her pajamas until her morning nap. I always lay her clothes out the night before, but I would come home to find her in something completely different! How dare her rummage through my daughter's dresser and closet to choose other clothes! What was wrong with the outfit I chose..did it not meet her standards! My husband finally pointed out that her granddaughter (who lives next door) was having fun dressing her up in pretty clothes like a doll, and it made her really happy, so let it go already. At least she was wearing clothes she never got to wear anyway and was getting use out of them before she grew out of them. Point taken.

Then, I became irritated that I couldn't always find all her toys in the evening. I'm so anal, I actually count her Weebles, Little People and Books while I clean up before bedtime. Then, I voiced to my husband my suspicion that the babysitter's grandchildren were stealing Courtney's toys! I had to have a conversation with their mother. Then, I would feel like an ass when Casey would find them the next day under the couch!

My current obssession is how I believe the babysitter is not trying hard enough to get Courtney to take her afternoon nap! She doesn't care about her enough to make sure she gets proper sleep. When, in actuality, she is transitioning herself to one nap a day, like most one-year olds do!

So, apparently, I've lost my mind! And it's a good thing I don't voice these concerns to the babysitter, because then I would run the danger of losing an absolutely amazing caregiver. It's borne of guilt for not being with my daughter all day every day, and I know that in my mind, but my heart is quick to make me lash out at everyone because I miss my little girl. But Casey always brings me back to reality. It doesn't get easier, but I should feel fortunate for the help I have.

On a brighter note, my daughter is bilingual! Absolute genius!
She says agua when she wants or sees her cup of water and says "Chito" for Lechito when the babysitter gives her milk. Did I mention her sitter speaks Spanish? Another awesome benefit.

She's also learned to say Thank You, Pee Pee, Baby, Hi, Bye and Fishy!
Did I mention she's a genius?

2005-08-17T10:37:00.000-07:00

Separation Anxiety...

I believe I suffer from this more than Courtney does. When I leave her with the babysitter in the morning, she barely lifts her head up from her activities...just raises her hand and says "Bye". I know I should be happy that she loves her babysitter and I no longer suffer from the belief that she thinks she's her mother, but my heart breaks a little every time I leave her.
Next week, I am going on my first ever business trip to New Hampshire for 4 DAYS!. I've never spent more than 12 hours away from her since she's been born, so this is a big deal for me. My stomach aches already just thinking about it. I'm trying to look at it as a nice, welcome break, but in all honesty, I no longer crave a break from her. She's just too darned entertaining! And now that she's sleeping through the night and wakes up later in the morning, I'm not as exhausted as I used to be. I really feel as if I'm getting this whole "mother" thing down and am beginning to forget why I used to think it was so hard!

I am finding that I really don't want too much "me" time. I feel that's wasting time I could be spending with her. And it's not out of guilt, it's because it's genuinely what I want to do. When she goes to sleep, I do my household chores, scrapbook, read, or god forbid, spend some quality time with my husband. Is this really healthy? for me or for my marriage?

For now, I will continue to revel in the fabulousness that is my daughter and do what feels natural. I am proud of her independence and resilience and I hope my husband and I had a little something to do with that!

Another funny story...
She now picks up the telephone, puts it backwards behind her ear and says "no" in the same tone that you or I would say hello. She thinks that's what we're saying when we answer the phone. She then proceeds to walk around the whole house for 10-15 minutes repeating it over and over again, until we tell her to take a message, then she puts it down. I am constantly amazed by how much she actually comprehends.

New word:
Sea Turtle

I swear to god! On her Baby Doolittle video, every time the sea turtle comes on the screen she points to it and says it as clear as day. She's done it several times now so I know it's not my imagination!

She's a genius!

2005-08-16T15:09:00.000-07:00

Many people have been advising me to start a blog for all my funny (and some not so funny) stories about my daughter Courtney who will be turning 1 on 8/28. I've been hesitant, because I am a little old-fashioned, but they have a point. I don't want to forget all the wonderful things I'm experiencing on this most amazing adventure. Until recently, I've kept a scrapbook of all of those firsts that occur in the first year of life, but now, things are starting to get really interesting now that she's walking and talking.

Brief history of life:
Born 8/28/04 Courtney Rose 7 lbs 5 oz via C-Section (I'd rather not share that story...still traumatizing)
Began crawling - 6 months
First tooth - 8 1/2 months
Began walking - 9 1/2 months
First real word - 10 months

Current vocabulary:
mommy, daddy, doggy, baba (bottle), NO (her current fave), meow, ball, book, nana, papa, down, night-night, wawa (water), bathtime...and she mimics us a lot, but doesn't usually repeat the words much afterwards

She's a hilarious child, with a wicked sense of humor already. She loves to sing and dance and read books. She watches Baby Einstein Videos and the Playhouse Disney programs.

I will continue to update with stories and milestones or just to vent so that I can keep track of my thoughts through all this. It's about time I began to process what I've experienced during this most wonderful, difficult, exhausting, exhilarating year of my life.

I will begin by sharing the occurrence of Courtney's first swear word. Last night, I was yelling at my dog to get down off her highchair, as I was trying to clean it. My exact words were, "Fred, get down, goddammit!" Then, clear as day, I hear Court from the other room repeat "GODDAMMIT". And then my husband said "good one, babe." I'm hoping she forgets that one! Though, sometimes it sounds like she's cussing me out in her baby gibberish when I tell her to do something she doesn't want to do. Her eyebrows get all furrowed and she points her finger at me and lets out what I believe is a baby rant! It's cute right now, though I imagine it won't be for long, once she starts using real words. Are timeouts too far from now?

Her one-year well-check appt with her pediatrician is Aug 31st, and I'm a little nervous. I believe her health is wonderful, but I know the doctor is going to advise me to start weaning her from the bottle and I'm dreading it! I know we're going to end up going rounds to get her to cut back. It's her only comfort item left. Plus, it means she's not much a baby anymore and that just makes me sad :(.

I will continue to update and wonder if anyone out there cares besides me!

Until then, here's a pic of my darling daughter doing what she does best...making us laugh