Who Am I? Where Am I? and What am I doing?

That's how I've been feeling lately. Things at work have been crazy and Casey is working late almost every night. I'm trying to find the time to get my work done, clean my house, play with my kid, spend time with my husband....There's just not enough time in the day. As a longtime overachiever, it's hard for me to not do everything in my life as perfectly as I can, but I've finally had to say "enough is enough". I'll do the best I can. This means, only cleaning the hardwood floors twice a week instead of 4, giving Courtney peanut butter and jelly for dinner sometimes, and watching a DVD at home with Casey as a date instead of going out. I have to stop feeling bad about myself for not meeting my own expectations and I really need to start ignoring the criticisms of others. There are a couple women I know, that to my face, act like they agree with some of the stuff I say and do and then go behind my back and voice their real opinion about how they would NEVER do some of the stuff I do or give their child what I give Courtney. Too much tv, too much processed food, not enough of an immune system because I didn't breastfeed, too long on the bottle....STOP THE MADNESS PEOPLE AND GET A LIFE! Worry about your own kid!

Of course, among all this craziness, something has to go REALLY wrong. A week after Courtney's shots, she developed a red, swollen bump near one of her shot sites and had a relatively high fever for a few days. My parents took her to the doctor for me, (because Casey and I were both swamped at work...thank god for grandparents) and the doctor was actually quite concerned. The prolonged fever is not a normal side effect of her immunizations, so she put her on a really strong antibiotic for a leg infection. That was scary! But she started feeling better after a couple of days taking the medicine. I felt bad leaving her every day, but I didn't have much of a choice. Then, a mild fever came back, and just as I was about to freak out and take her back to the doctor, I noticed that she had cut two molars! Poor thing. What a trouper she is. She always tries so hard to be happy. These last few days, she's been throwing a lot of tantrums, but I'm cutting her a little slack until after Christmas...

I'm off all next week and we're doing away with the bottle cold turkey! It's really the only way to do it and just be done with it. It will not be pretty, but the doctor is pretty adamant about getting her off it. If we wait too much longer it's just going to make it that much harder! I'm sure I'll be posting several times next week, venting and updating on the progress. Wish me luck!

Christmas will be a ton of fun! I overindulged her, but my parents really are spoiling her! She is such an angel with them and makes them so happy, especially my father. We're all going to turn her into a monster. We all cater to her because now that she can tell us exactly what she wants, we just run around and get it for her! And if we don't, she voices her displeasure. My husband finally just told her last week, "you are not the boss of this house" and she kind of gave him a look that said "yeah, right, now get me my cheerios you yahoo!"

Below are her latest pics...what a ham!
Happy holidays!

15 Month Checkup

Overall, it went really well. She weighs 23.5 pounds and is 29" long. She is in the 50th percentile in height and 75th in weight. So, basically, she is short and stout! The doctor was extremely impressed with her mobility, coordination and especially, her vocabulary. We did get chewed out for her still being on the bottle. She gave us a deadline of Christmas to get her off it. I don't like those kinds of deadlines! So, I will give it a shot when I'm off work for a week during Christmastime. We really should have done this earlier, but we've been dreading it since day one!

Then, at the end of the appointment, she had to get 5 different shots. My husband took her into the back room, because I just can't handle it. Then I hear her screaming and crying to the nurse "All done, all done, all done". It was soooo pitiful. Then Casey came out with tears in his eyes. He felt she had looked right into his soul as if to say "how could you let her do that to me?". Then, the nurse asked if she could have a lollipop. Casey said no, because I normally don't let her have any candy, but I immediately said yes. I let Casey give it to her so he could make peace and she immediately shut up. She was sooo happy on the way to my mom's. She knew exactly what to do with that lollipop. She called it her "pipipop!" It was so precious.

She has been a lot of fun these last few weeks. And she's just so charming with everyone. Yesterday we were over our friends' house that have a 4 month old baby, and she was bouncing her on her bouncy, saying "wheeeee!". She loves babies. She'll just have to play with other people's babies, because I don't plan on having any more! And that's ok. I have a beautiful, perfect little girl, who is the center of my universe. When and if I feel there's something missing in my family, I will cross that bridge then!