We wish you a Merry Christmas
Wow, I'm pretty sick of this song. We decorated our tree last night and Court was playing with these singing snowmen, over and over and over. At first it was cute because she was really trying to sing it, but enough already.

However, overall, preparing for Christmas has been especially exciting this year. She's really starting to get it. We went to see Santa last weekend and she didn't cry this year. Though she wouldn't talk to him either. After her picture was taken and we were walking away, she panicked because she didn't tell Santa what she wanted and was afraid she wasn't going to get that Dora Castle. So, she yelled over her shoulder. "Santa, I want a Dora Castle..don't forget". It was pretty darned cute.

She understands Santa and presents and Christmas trees, but she doesn't get that Christmas is only one day and she has to wait for her presents. She is being incredibly patient, though.

Below is the pic we're considering using for our Xmas card (gosh, I have to get those out). She looks like such a little lady!

Happy Thanksgiving

Pretty noneventful, but got some cute pics. My mom made her her own little cornish game hen, which she ate with gusto!

Is she three yet?

Because the Terrible Twos suck. I hate to whine, especially since I am extremely blessed with such a beautiful, smart little girl, but I'm going to for a minute! Most of the time, she is very well behaved, but when she's not, she's like the devil incarnate. The fact that she's so good all the time probably makes it harder for me to deal with her when she's not. Or maybe she's just too spoiled. I don't know, but my patience is wearing thin.

Every night is a battle to get her to go to sleep. We go in there at 8:30 and sing songs for awhile, and tell stories. We do this thing where we talk about what she wants to dream about. And then when I tell her it's time to go to sleep, the heavy manipulation begins. Mommy, I want my milk. Mommy, hold my kitty, wait, I don't want my kitty, I want my dolly. No, mommy not Mary, I want the Susie baby. Mommy, my tummy hurts, you might have to take me to the doctor. Mommy, my diaper is bothering me. The minute I get stern then she wants her father. Any trick in the book to not go to sleep. Last night, I was in there for an hour and I finally gave up and let her wail for a minute when I left. I try to stay calm, but sometimes I just have to walk away and collect myself.

Alright, enough complaining, because she really is an amazing little girl. Her vocabulary is off the charts and sometimes she comes up with stuff that just cracks me up. The other night, she couldn't find a toy or something and she said "oh, snap!" like Raven on That's so Raven on the Disney channel. She won't be watching that show anymore! But it was funny. She counts to twenty, knows all of her letters and numbers on site, and boy is she a charmer. Her and my mom got into a little fender bender last weekend, and she had all the firefighters in a circle around her while she flirted away. I was so upset until I talked to one of the firefighters and he told me that she was fine and just offered him some of her juice.

And the kid is just gorgeous. I get stopped a lot by strangers who comment on how beautiful her eyes are or how personable she is. People hand me cards for modeling agencies that I just throw in the nearest trash bin when they aren't looking. Thank you, but not interested!

So, I am a lucky mommy, who just needs to vent once in awhile. If you are still there, thanks for reading.

Below is a recent pic of my little girl standing in the rain with an umbrella that is way too big for her. Too cute.

Happy Halloween

Don't have time to write much, just wanted to post some pics of my little pirate.
I was hoping she would want to be a princess or a fairy or a bumblebee, but NOOOOOO. She wanted to be a pirate.

She loved trick or treating. She said "trick or treat please". And "Arggghh" like a pirate. She always remembered to say thank you when she walked away and then said "ok, let's go to the next one house to get more candy. She was hilarious and the absolute hit of the neighborhood. People were giving her candy from their "special" stash. I let her have some M&Ms and after bouncing off the walls until 9pm, she fell fast asleep. It was wonderful. Can't wait for Christmas.

The Diet of a Working Mom

I'm so sick of being chubby. Truth be told, I was a little chubby before I got pregnant. I lost all the baby weight, but the weight has totally redistributed to different areas of my body. My clothes don't fit right. I don't feel all that great. I have poor eating habits that I don't want to pass on to my daughter. A few months ago, I decided that enough is enough! We switched to brown rice and wheat noodles. No junk food in the house. Egg whites and oatmeal in the morning. 72 oz of water a day! All this is great, but doesn't mean much without a workout program. Here lies the problem. Where do I find time in the day?

I could get up at 5 AM and run to the gym before my husband has to leave for work. Yeah...that's not going to happen. I could go at lunchtime. I prefer to EAT at lunchtime. I could do a workout tape at home after the kid goes to sleep. There are way too many good tv shows to watch on the DVR. So, after nixing all the previous ideas, yet realizing something still needed to be done, I agreed to carve out an hour at 5pm most evenings to work out in the gym downstairs at work. I felt really guilty at first. Isn't this time I should be spending with Court? My husband didn't care for the idea too much. His reasoning was if I was able to get off earlier from work, I should come home and help him. Frankly, I think he'll live having to be in charge for a couple of hours every day. Despite my misgivings, I gave it a try and I feel wonderful!

The weight isn't coming off as fast as I'd like but I feel so much better about myself. I go home in a much better mood and with more energy. I'm just a happier person. Now, if only I could actually stick to a diet. I'm not sure it's possible with a two-year old, unless you have perfectly proportioned meals delivered to your doorstep every day. Whenever she doesn't finish her PB&J, or popsicle, mommy eats it. She likes to feed me a little of whatever she is eating sometimes. Sometimes, we're so tired from dealing with her, that neither of us feels like cooking so we heat up a frozen pizza! I've been working out so much that I'm absolutely ravenous all the time and end up snacking every night before bed (a major diet no-no apparently). So, I ask myself this..."how does a working mom stay on a diet?" The answer is....YOU DON'T. And I won't beat myself up over it. I'll just continue to be the best version of myself I can be. After all, don't I deserve that piece of cheesecake?

We're baaaaack from "Cation"

We got back a week and a half ago but it took me a while to recover.

It was a great vacation but I wish I had given myself more time before going back to work. It was an exhausting endeavor. The good news is that Courtney was an angel in the car to and from Palm Springs. Thank goodness for portable DVD players. We only had to stop once each way. Thanks Dora, Wiggles, Barney and Blue's Clues!

Now, once we got there my little angel turned into a monster! She screamed at bedtime, would wake up for 2 hours in the middle of the night, wouldn't listen to me AT ALL. In short, she made me look really bad to my in-laws. By the time Casey and I left for Vegas, three days after we got to his dad's house, I was sooooo ready to leave her. I know that sounds terrible, but my nerves were shot. I gave very careful instructions to my mother-in-law on how much Tylenol and how many teething tablets to give her every night. I gave her tips on how to calm her down. I told her to prepare to wake up at 6 AM every morning. The poor woman was probably totally freaked out. So after she took careful notes, (Thanks Nancy by the way for humoring a nervous mother) we were off!

We had a great time. It didn't take me long to let go. I had convinced myself that she was going to have a blast without me and that we both needed this little break. I had know idea how true that statement was! We called the next morning at 9:30 and my little devil was STILL SLEEPING...since 8PM the previous night. The whole time we were gone, she did that. She slept 12 + hours every night without waking up and without any Tylenol and took 3 hour naps every day. Boy, was she making us look bad. Plus, Casey and I were jealous that she was soo easy. So, after a great time in Vegas, we went back to the desert to get her, eager to spend time with our new and improved daughter. FAT CHANCE!

She went right back to her old ways the first night back. Why is it that she is soo much more well behaved for her grandparents than us? Am I so easily manipulated? Well, yes.

Anyways, it's good to be home and back to the routine. She is sleeping and behaving better now that her molars are actually starting to break through. I'm enjoying her again and I am quite grateful for the break.

We've been enjoying the fall. Below are pics from the Pumpkin patch and of her helping daddy rake the leaves in the yard







She wants to be a pirate for halloween, or at least wanted to. After Casey spent $80 on a pirate costume for her AND him, she changed her mind and wants to be a bunny. How do you explain the concept of "nonrefundable" to a 2-year old? You don't!

Latest Courtneyisms:

1) "Pop, you're making my mad"..when my dad teases her
2) "Gamma, my teeth hurt, I have to brush my molars".
3) "I didn't take a very good nap today...my tired."

She tells on herself constantly. I'm glad she's honest, at least for now!

We're berry berry tired!

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. It's been the same old grind.
Courtney continues to assert her independence at every turn and I swear she says no to every question before she even hears the whole thing. At least now, she says "no, thank you". and Pweeese, mommy". But she's still pretty whiny. We think her 2-year molars are coming in because her sleep schedule is all jacked up. She had me spoiled the last 6 months or so, sleeping until 7:30. Now, she's getting up with the chickens at 6AM or even 5:30. I tell her "it's still dark", and she says "so what, mommy, I'm all done night-night." Can't argue with that.

We had her 2-year checkup this week. Going to the doctor is getting tricky now because she's old enough to remember that's where she goes to get shots. She wasn't very cooperative, though she impressed the doctor with her vocabulary and cognitive skills when she said, wait a minute, I'm not ready." She has the verbal skills of a 3-year old or above. She asked her what her name was and was stunned when Court replied "Courtney Rose Houtz". She's such a showoff. She weighs 27 pounds, only up 3 pounds since her 18 month checkup. She is only 33 inches which is the 25th percentile for her age. She's short like her mother. But all her baby fat is almost gone. She looks like such a little girl. It breaks my heart.

Speaking of how big she's getting, Casey and I are taking our first little vacation without her next week. We're driving down to Palm Springs on Saturday to spend a few days with his dad and then we're leaving her for 3 days with him while we go to Vegas for Casey's 30th birthday. As much as I am looking forward to this and know that she's going to have such a great time that she'll hardly miss us, I know I'm going to have a hard time. I've never been a way from her for more than 24 hours. She's my best friend, the joy of my life. Even when she's being cranky and we've had a horrible day, I go into her room at night and watch her sleep and feel so proud that we've created such a wonderful creature. But Casey and I need some adult time and I need to remember that though I am a mother first and foremost, I am also a wife, and an individual in my own right. Still...

Latest Courtneyisms:

1) my mom's dog has it's tail docked and ours don't. She told my dad very seriously the other day, "papa, Eddie's tail is broken. Put a bandaid on it".

2)"mommy, look I'm shaking my bootay!" I asked her who taught her that. "daddy". Of course!

3) Her stomach was growling one morning and she said "Oh, mommy, there's a tiger in my tummy, feed it!"

If only they could stay that innocent and naive.

Until next time...

Happy Birthday Baby!

It's been a long time since my last post. Things have been hectic at work and crazy at home. And I've been feeling a little melancholy in anticipation of my baby's second birthday.

I can't believe it's been 2 years! I can't believe I survived. I can't believe SHE survived and that I haven't ruined her yet. But most of all, I cannot believe how beautiful, intelligent, funny, sweet and resourceful my little girl has become in such a short span of time. I can't believe how much I've grown to love her since she's been born. I didn't think it was possible to love someone that much. I never thought that I would be able to completely disregard my needs and wants in order to fulfill someone else's every desire. It actually brings me great joy to put her before everything else. It's all worth it to have her look in me in the eyes, touch my face and say "I wuv you bery much, mommy." My eyes tear up every single time.

I'm not going to lie. It's been really hard. It was a tough transition for me. But motherhood has been such an absolute blessing. I actually think I'm pretty good at it. I must be to have raised such a wonderful little angel. Sure, she has her moments. The Terrible Twos have not completely escaped us, and I'm sure there's more to come. But overall, she's a very good little girl. Almost makes me forget how awful she was the first 6 months of her life...ALMOST.

Below are her 2-year portraits.
Later this week, I will post details and pictures of her birthday party. It was awesome, and so much more enjoyable and lowkey than last year.

Just another day at the fair

As promised, I am updating the blog sooner rather than later with pics and details from Courtney's first trip to the Alameda County Fair.

This is a major tradition for Casey and I. We've gone every summer for 13 years, since we first started dating and have commemorated every visit with a cheesy photo booth picture for every year except the last 3. Two summers ago I was 8 months pregnant and miserable. I didn't want that captured for posterity. Last summer, Court was just under a year and we couldn't get her in the booth. This year was just too crazy! We promise to resume the tradition next summer!

Anyways, a bunch of people wanted to come with us this year, to see the little one's reaction to everything. My parents and her godmother met us there and after about an hour of wrangling everyone together and another hour of feeding everyone, we were off!

Court was getting cranky, so my mom bought her some french fries. Well, she wouldn't eat them until my mom got a plate, some "dip-its" (ketchup) and we all sat down at a table. She is such a creature of habit. Anything out of her eating routine and she just freaks out! But, it was kinda cute and she really enjoyed those fries as you can see.




Then we went to see the barnyard animals. She's learned all the animals names and sounds from books, flashcards, and my constant quizzing, but she's never actually heard one make a sound live! When she heard the cow moo, she just cracked up! Then she said, "ok, let's go see the bock-bocks." (chickens). Or lets go see the sheep or goats. Now, these animals really stink, but we hung out for like an hour anyway because we were so delighted to see her enjoy herself.

Then, we were off to the exhibition halls. She of course wanted to walk around. I'm not even sure why we brought the stinkin' stroller. I'm a creature of habit also, and every year, I buy a big giant pickle and some beef jerky in the exhibition hall. I was about halfway through my pickle and I turned around to find my darling daughter taking it right out of my hand.



After 4 hours of eating junk, cavorting with smelly barnyard animals, and running after my precocious 2-year old, we went home. In the car, she kept saying she was tired and crying that she didn't want a bath. So, we wiped her down at home and she passed out!

I know that I've gone to the fair every year since I was a little girl, but I'm not quite sure I've seen it the way I saw it this time...To see things through the eyes of a toddler is truly magical.

Where or where has Courtney been?

Oh my gosh, it's been a long time since I've added an entry, and it's not for lack of interesting news. Things have been really hectic at work, then I go home and play with Court and pass out by 10 pm. There are so many things I want to do with my "free" time and somehow, blogging just keeps getting pushed down the list.

There's lots to tell, so I'll keep it brief.

1) It's been almost 4 weeks bottle free! One day she just told the babysitter "no more baba, k?" and that was it. She doesn't even ask for it. Now, I can't believe I obssessed over it so much. My mom told me Courtney was the type of child who would reach those kind of milestones on her own without much prodding from me but I didn't believe it. Gosh, I hate it when my mom is right. Does she have to ALWAYS be right. Now, I'm just waiting for her to potty train herself!

2) Dora the Explorer Rocks! Well, not really, but she's Courtney's current obssession. My parents aren't helping any either. She has a Dora bathing suit, Dora nightgown, Dora sleeping bag, Dora videos, Dora doll. "I want Dowa!" I have to say, I'm a little sick of Dora. Her voice is annoying. It sounds like she's shouting through the whole video. But apparently, she's supposed to be a good female role model for the pre-school circuit. And she makes my kid happy, so whatever.

3) No, Mommy do it! Her other current obssession is ME! Apparently, I'm the only one who can change her diaper the right way, pour her juice right, put her videos in, read her books and give her baths. I'd be flattered, but I'm too darned exhausted! I'm blessed to have a husband who wants to be an equal participant in caring for our child, but she just won't let him and it's bumming both of us out. I understand that this is a normal part of development at this age, but we're going to try and nip it in the bud. It's getting to be a bit much.

4) Too bossy for her own good. When Courtney says "jump", we all say "how high". It's ridiculous really. Before, we all marvelled at her ability to put together 6-word sentences to really question what she was saying. Now, it's not so cute when she says "daddy, get out of my chair".

5) Pronoun mixup. This is the age where they start to TRY to use pronouns. Court hasn't quite gotten the hang of it. "Mommy, leave my alone". "No, My do it". "This is mines and that is yous". It's really kind of cute, and I don't have the heart to correct her.

6) Tiny tot tumbling. Now that her swim lessons are over, we signed her up for "gymnastics" at the local community center. It's not really gymnastics. More like running around and jumping on things, but it's great. It makes me sad how much she craves interaction with other kids. She get SOOO excited when she sees the other children. But, those kids are demons. Am I really the only one in the community with a well-mannered toddler?

Anyways, that's it for now. I will add pics next time. I broke the digital camera with the tumble in the ocean that occurred during Court's first trip to the beach when a big wave knocked me into a rock. But we bought a new camera over the weekend and need to install the photo software.

Next time, I will talk about Court's first trip to the county fair, complete with a photo of her eating a 2-pound pickle!

Oh my God Mommy that was AMAZING!

Those are the words of my 21 month old to describe our first trip to the beach. I have some cousins in Santa Cruz and we took a day trip up there on Saturday to hang out at the beach and meet their kids (3 years old and 13 months - shout out to Thomas and Madeline!). Court had never seen the ocean, so we thought it would be fun! Well, not so much. She had great fun with her cousins, but the beach wasn't a big hit with her. The water was too cold (ohh, frio, daddy!) and she didn't like getting any sand on her (she's such a girly girl), so her and hung out on the towels with a bucket of water so that she could rinse her hands every time she got a speck of sand on them!

But on the way home, she kept saying "oh my god, mommy that was amazing!". I don't really know where she learned that, but I was cracking up so she kept saying it. It warmed my heart like I couldn't even describe!




The 3 kids on the way to the beach! She's never even been in a wagon



First time in the ocean! Not really digging it. Don't you just love the little dimples in her fat legs, though? Just like mommy!



Still not looking too thrilled!



I LOVE this picture. She looks so pensive.

That's it for now.

Will update again soon

20 Months going on 16 Years

Where or where has the time gone? It may not be that much time but a lot has happened developmentally with Court in the past couple of months. Here are a few of the highlights:

1) Can count to 10 in English and Spanish (the kid will count anything...she loves it, I swear)
2) Knows her ABCs
3) Can actually identify about half of the letters by sight (her favorite letter is B for some reason)
4) Knows her colors (I found this out when I tried to give her a popsicle the other day and she said, "no, I want a red one"...there's no fooling her)
5) When listening to the radio in the car, she stops us when station surfing and says "mommy, I like this song" (She sang "My Humps" by Black Eyed Peas in the car yesterday...not good)

She's really coming into her own and having her own, very vocal, opinions. She knows what she likes and more importantly what she doesn't like.

Current Faves:

Favorite Color: Green
Favorite TV Character: Barney, Dora the Explorer, Wiggles
Favorite Animal: Monkey
Favorite Drink: Prune Juice
Favorite Food: Chicken Noodle Soup
Favorite Snack: Yogurt covered raisins
Favorite Pastimes: Coloring, watering the flowers outside, reading
Favorite Song: Apparently, "My Humps" by Black Eyed Peas, and of course, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Favorite Toy: her "naked baby". It's a cheap plastic doll from Wal-Mart that she refuses to leave clothes on. She takes it in the bath and to swim class. She calls it her "naked baby". Weird! I need to be careful who she says that around.
Favorite phrases:
"No, I don't want it"
"Ootsi, mommy" It's her version of oopsy!
"Are we going to dinner?" Maybe we take her out to restaurants too much
"Oooh, mommy, pretty" and then I of course buy it!

Boy, am I going to have my work cut out for me!

The Wiggles Have Landed

After weeks of mild anticipation, the Wiggles concert was last tuesday. Casey had to go home Monday afternoon after receiving a phone call from the babysitter saying that Courtney appeared to have a fever. It was 104! I of course, freaked out and made the snap decision that we were not going to the concert the next day and tried to get rid of the tickets at work. Of course, there were no takers. All I got was a bunch of amart aleck responses via e-mail. So, I held onto the tickets, hoping that she'd have a miraculous recovery.

Well, she did, actually get much better the next day. We pumped her full of Tylenol and we were off!

There were a ton of people there. She was awestruck immediately only because she's never been around that many people. When we walked into the actual arena, her eyes got really big and she said "Oh Boy!". Waiting for the concert to begin, they played videos on the big screens, and when it stopped she said "daddy, gimme the mote", which means she wanted the remote so she could turn it back on. She had no clue what was going on. Then, when the Wiggles came out in the Big Red Car, she looked so excited! I'll never forget the expression on her face as long as I live. My eyes teared up over how much she was enjoying herself. She danced and sang to every song. So did we, as a matter of fact, because sadly we know all the words also. I have to admit, I was a little starstruck myself. I mean, these guys are on my television all the time and we were sooo close. A little too close, actually. We had a good view of all of their pit stains. In fact, the yellow Wiggle Greg got really fat since the last video release and my husband pointed out that he had two holes in the armpits of his t-shirt. I believe his exact words were, "can't this rich f***** afford a new T-shirt". Crass, but a true statement!

After the concert, we were walking back to the car and Courtney turned to me with her big blue eyes, in her Wiggles T-shirt, and Dorothy the Dinosaur hat and said "mommy, I see the Wiggles". Yes, honey you sure did! And I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Miss Bossy Britches

I must have the bossiest little girl in the world! And the sad thing is we all just do it.
Some of her latest commands:

1) I SAID wait for me! (Translation: you got a lot of nerve leaving without me)
2) No, I don't want it. (Translation: and you better not try to give it to me again)
3) Fredrick, back! or Fredrick, no barking! (Translation: I'm the new sheriff in town, buddy)
4) Hey! All done night night! (Translation: come get me ouf of crib lady)
5) Let's go to my room! (Translation: you better play with me or I'm going to throw the monster of all tantrums).

I'm getting pretty good at reading between the lines.

My mother said I was the exact same way back then, and to a certain extent, I believe I still am.

My poor husband!

A future American Idol??...

My kid just loves to sing! She sings all day, in her crib at night, first thing in the morning. That little voice has got to be the purest sound in the world. She loves The Wiggles and Barney because they sing and dance all the time. She knows almost all of the songs. She doesn't know all the words, but she does a pretty good job at pretending she does. We're actually taking her to a Wiggles concert next month. You don't want to even know how expensive the tickets were. I don't even know why it was so important to us to get good tickets. For some reason, we wanted to get as close as possible to four sweating, middle aged Australian men singing assanine songs. Go Figure!

On another front, we're trying to introduce the potty chair to Court. I bought her a Potty Time video and a book, and she seems to understand the concept, just not the idea that she's supposed to do it someday. She sits on her chair fully clothed, but the minute you suggest taking her pants off, she comes unglued. The other day at my parents' house, she said she had to go poo-poo, so we took her pants off and put her on the chair. Her little bare butt looked so darned cute on that chair...I just about died. But she didn't like it. She peed two drops into the chair, then got up, ran away, and peed on my mom's carpet in the living room. I don't think this is going to go well....

Tag, I'm It!

Apparently there's this online game of tag among bloggers, and I'm it! I have to answer some questions so that my so-called "audience" knows more about me. Well, prepare to snooze, because it's not that entertaining folks! And I don't know how many people even read this, but I have to follow the rules.


Four Jobs I've had:

1) Installing glove compartments on the truck assembly line at a Toyota manufacturing plant. I actually only worked there for 7 days before I walked off the line in tears.
2) Accounting Manager at Pets.Com. It should have been illegal to have that much fun at work!
3) Library Assistant at Green Library at Stanford University. I basically got paid to study. It was great!
4) Cashier at Tri-City Sporting Goods - now this was my favorite job because it's where I met my husband!

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over

1) Steel Magnolias (I'm a sap, what can I say)
2) Friday (Chris Tucker used to be a comic genius)
3) The Abyss
4) White Chicks (that dance off scene gets me every time!)

Four Places I've Lived

now this is especially boring. I've never left my beloved Bay Area

1) Fremont, CA
2) Palo Alto, CA (Stanford dorm)
3) Hayward, CA
4) San Lorenzo, CA

Four Places I've Been on Vacation

1) Disneyland (most romantic vacation I've ever had with my husband..can't wait to take Court)
2) St. Lucia - honeymoon
3) Kauai
4) Puerto Vallarta
can you tell I like beaches?

Four Websites I visit daily

1) People.com
2) eonline.com
3) babycenter.com
4) realityblurred.com
wow, that made me look bad

Four of my favorite foods

1) Pho'
2) seared ahi tuna
3) french fries
4) popcorn

Four Places I'd Rather be

1) Slanted Door in SF
2) Wine tasting in Napa Valley
3) Curled on the couch watching movies with my husband
4) Anywhere with my kid

Hope you're not asleep yet...Thanks for reading

She Loves Me! She Really, Really Loves Me!

Ok, I apologize for the Sally Field reference, but I am almost matching her fabled jubiliation.

Courtney repeats about everything we say, even things we don't want her to repeat, but for whatever reason, she would never say "I Love you" even though we have said to her about 50 times a day since the day she was born. About 2 weeks ago, out of the blue, she started saying it to the pets. I'm not going to lie. I took it personally, but I figured it was a matter of time before she would say it back to us.

A few days ago, she finally said it back to me. "Luhhh you too!". And sometimes she would even hug me while saying it. But I always had to say it first. Then, last night, for no apparent reason, she came up to me an hugged me unprovoked, and said "I Luhh you Mommy". She then did the same thing to my sister-in-law, Casey's grandma, and then went into the kitchen and said to Casey. I lost it! The tears began to flow. This from a woman who didn't even shed tears at her own wedding or when her daughter was born. It's just something about this little being, who is the center of my universe, hinting at the fact that I she may feel the same way. It's just too much!

Leave her alone, she's being quiet!

That's my new favorite sentence. I am amazed by some of the things I let Court play with just to keep her quiet, while I take a shower, do the dishes, make her breakfast, fold the laundry, etc...

It's getting harder and harder to keep her entertained because she's just so darned curious and active. And it's getting harder to say no to her when she wants something she's not supposed to have, because she'll throw herself on the ground or give you puppy eyes and say "Pweeessee!" It kills me.

My husband gets so mad at me, because I will let her play with my $20 MAC makeup brushes to clean out the lint from the wall fan, or let her unwrap all of my tampons, take every Q-Tip out of the bin and put them back, take all the DVD's off the shelf and open them, open and close the bathroom louvre doors a million times during a rousing game of peekaboo, put on all of my plastic bracelets, but baby powder on the dog...really anything to keep her quiet for just a little while. I know it's not a good idea, and I will pay for it later, but I say not to any of the real "dangerous" things she wants to do!

Here's a pic of her during one of her favorite pasttimes, taking all of her clothes out of the drawer and putting them on Gamma's head! Look at the evil in her eyes.

Just a few recent pics of my little girl

Doesn't look too much like a baby now!
I'll update again soon.

Daddy's Home!

And not a moment too soon! Remember how I was saying how wonderful Court was being and it seemed too good to be true! Well, the other shoe officially dropped not too long after I made that statement. I knew I should have knocked on some wood!

Last Saturday, she was unbelievably cranky. All week long, the babysitter said she was sleeping 2-3 hours for her nap, but for me, it was like 45 minutes tops! So, she was cranky after her nap probably because she was still tired, and I wanted to take her over to my parents to visit. She gets sick of just hanging out with me. But she was being awful! She wouldn’t “let” me take a shower, which means she screamed the whole time and I had to shower with the door wide open, freezing to death. She didn’t want to get dressed, so I just tossed her in the car in her pj’s, preparing for my mom’s comments about how she looks like a ragamuffin. All this after a night, where she woke up 3 times and I had to sit by her bed for an hour rubbing her back, listening to her going on about pizza and Sissy and Frederick and chips and the Wiggles. It was the first time since Casey’s absence that I felt close to a breakdown, so I called him to hear his voice and to get a little reassurance. He didn’t pick up his cell phone and then called me back a while later and apologized. He didn’t hear the phone because he was at a parade in Tampa. Are you freakin’ kidding me? I’m here on the verge of a total meltdown, exhausted, impatient, lonely, and he’s at a freakin’ parade. I just couldn’t believe it. At that moment, everything wrong in the free world was his fault! And I unfairly let him have it, poor guy.

She was difficult the rest of the evening, so went down early. Then, she was an angel the next day and the rest of the following week. She continued to wake up once a night…a new habit apparently. This habit MUST be broken, but I didn’t have the energy to do it alone. The week was flying by...we were in the home stretch and then Thursday…BAM! High fever! 101.5 degrees. No other symptoms. It was still there the following morning, so I took her to my mom’s and went to work. Here, it was the day Casey was coming home and she was miserable. It appeared as if she had a sore throat because she was struggling to swallow. Her fever came back every 4 hours, as soon as the Tylenol wore off. I was holding off on taking her to the dr, despite my mother’s panicked pleas, because the guidelines from the pediatrician’s office says to take her in if the fever is over 103 for 2 days.

Casey came home at midnight that night and she woke up…happy to see him, but really feverish again. It spiked to 103.5 the following afternoon, still with no other symptoms that I could see, so I called the advice nurse who advised me to bring her in the next morning. Turns out she had a nasty double ear infection and a throat infection. I had no idea! She not once grabbed her ears or anything. I feel awful. Of course, the doctor had to tell me that her laying down with a bottle makes it more likely for her to get an ear infection. Give me a break! It’s her first ear infection. But I hear him loud and clear…I’m just in denial.

Three days with antibiotics later, my little girl appears to be acting normal finally. She’s been an absolute bear for so long, I’ve almost forgotten how wonderful she could be! So, it’s a good thing I kept a written list of the cute things she’s done recently, or else I would neglect to include anything positive in this blog entry!

Latest cuteisms:
She continues to love the Gwen Stefani song “Hollaback Girl”. Only now, when we’re in the car listening to it after her “back geerl” request, she sings all of the words, even the bad ones…her fave line is “It’s my sh**, It’s my sh**!” We laugh when she does it, so she keeps saying it because she’s a ham.

One day last week, she was helping me get ready in the morning. The babysitter was already there, but Court kept coming back to visit me. I open one of the cabinets that has safe stuff for her to play with and she proceeded to pull out my box of tampons…every single one of the tampons and ran down the hall to show the babysitter her “tacos”. I’m not sure why she called them that. But she sure was having a good time with them. I’m just glad she didn’t try to eat them!

The kid loves to sing and dance. She doesn’t know all the words, but that doesn’t stop her from pretending. She’ll dance to any music, even from commercials, but now she grabs my hand and tells me to say “Go, Courtney! Go, Courtney!”. She digs the encouragement and LOVES the attention. I definitely have one serious drama queen on my hands!

Only Day 5?

Only 8 more to go! I'm taking the term "one day at a time" to a whole other level.

It was going pretty well until last night. I don't know if Court is teething, was hungry, had a belly ache, or just sensed that her father isn't around, but she put me through such a bad night that I'm now pretty sure I don't want another child! Sleep is just too valuable! She's been going right down every night, basically falling over in exhaustion from playing with Papa and Auntie all week and last night she went right down also. But staying asleep has been a bit of an issue. She first woke up at 3 AM. I could hear her talking to herself pretty quietly in her room and every couple of minutes she would gently call for me. I ignored her for awhile and then realized that she wasn't going back down that easily. I knew that she didn't eat much dinner and that she was probably hungry, so going against my better judgement, I went in there to give her a bottle. Of course, she was over the moon and proceeded to suck it down pretty quickly and ask for more. I pretended I didn't hear her and just sat in the room with her for awhile to try to soothe her back to sleep. Well, a half an hour later, I gave up and gave her another half bottle. Then, she wanted me to sit down and hold her little hand through the bars of the crib. She has been asking me to do that as a source of comfort since I tried taking the bottle away. She's been doing it a lot this week since her father left town. I was more than happy to do it because it's really the sweetest thing in the world. Then, I rubbed her back and she turned to me with those big blue eyes and said "thank you". My heart just melted. By now, it was almst 4 AM, though and I was freezing and really, really tired. I told her it was time for night-night and I was in the next room and that I loved her and got up and left. I think she fell asleep shortly thereafter. However, it took me almost an hour to fall back asleep after shaking of the chill and winding back down. At 5:30, she startled me back awake screaming bloody murder, so I ran in there and she was really upset about something. I hugged her and rubbed her back and she passed back out about 2 minutes later. But, by then, I my adrenaline was freaking out. It was probably just a bad dream or something, but I thought she was hurt or something when I first heard her.

I didn't go back to sleep after that. She moaned in her sleep from 6 to 6:30 and then was back up for good at 7AM, ready to tackle the day. Mommy, on the other hand, has been a freakin' zombie all day today. It really brought me back to the newborn days and I was traumatized all over again. At least when Casey is here, we trade off on those nights where she wakes up more than once like that. I don't have the luxury of a backup for right now. It's just me, the multitasking queen! I'll probably go to bed tonight at 8:30 just in case we have a repeat performance of last night.

The thing is, she's been an absolute joy otherwise. She's cheerful in the mornings and evenings with me, and her babysitter says that she's "muy contenta" all day long. She has been napping a little bit more, but probably because she's not sleeping very well at night.

Gosh, I can't wait until my husband comes home. I promise I will appreciate him so much more when he gets back...well at least for a week after he gets back.

Latest cuteism:
I wanted to give her a bubble bath last night but I didn't have any baby bubble bath. So, I got desparate and used my Victoria's Secret "Crimson Kisses" bubble bath. It smelled like a brothel in the bathroom, and it didn't help that she kept grabbing the bubbles and provocatively rubbing them all over her body and saying "ooohhhh, mommy". It was obvious that she was copying what I do in the shower so I just kept telling her "good girl" I'm glad Casey wasn't there to see it!

Day 2 and Counting...

My husband left yesterday for his 2 week training class in Florida.
I'm lonely already! How am I going to make it through the next 11 days? Fortunately, the Monster is going through an abnormally easy stage, so much so, I feel bad calling her "the monster". I don't know if she's going through a growth spurt or what, but she's sleeping A LOT and is eating me out of house and home. She eats ALL DAY. At least she eats healthy stuff, so I'm not worried. Her legs seem to have stretched out overnight and she's losing her baby fat. It makes me sad! But her pants fit better now that her legs aren't quite so stubby so that's a good thing. I was having trouble finding clothes that fit because the pants that fit her in the waist were always WAY too long.

I'm rambling because I just seem to be out of sorts. Of course, she woke up last night, which she never does, and was up for nearly an hour singing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star". It's almost like she senses that things are different and that her father is gone for awhile.

Thank god I have my family and sister-in-law to help out this week. It's fiscal yearend in the finance world, so I will be putting in long hours the next 2 weeks, so I have to depend on them to pick up the monster from daycare at 5 every day. This is an official shoutout to my dad and sister-in-law!

So, I will be at my parents' a lot during the weekends. Yesterday was fun. Court was playing with my nephew, who is almost 2, and it brought tears to my eyes to see them interact with each other. My daughter looks exactly like me and Bubba (just a nickname, don't worry, his parents didn't actually name him "Bubba), looks exactly like my brother, so it was surreal and took me WAY back in time. They really love each other, I think. They're always hugging and kissing, but Court is WAY bossy. The funny thing is that Bubba just kind of mellowly lets her boss him around even though he's like twice her size (hence the nickname Bubba!). She kept grabbing his hand and saying "Let's go, Bubba". Or telling to "Be careful, Bubba". or "Bubba, stop it!". He was laying on the ground watching tv and she just sat on his stomach like it was no big deal. He didn't seem to mind! We were worried that Bubba would pick on her but I think we need to worry about her! Gosh, she reminds me of me! She means business!

Cuteisms:
She sings all day long! She makes up songs while she's playing. They are usually about our dog Zoe, who she calls Sissy, or food or her dolls. It's so damned cute, I can hardly stand it. But it's not as cute in the middle of the night.

Whenever I go over a speed bump with her in the car, she tells me to "be careful, mommy". I guess she doesn't like it when I go too fast.

Lately, when she doesn't like something, she shakes her head and says "don't like it" or "don't want it". Ok, maybe this isn't as cute!

The Calm Before the Storm?

Things are going surprisingly well. Court has regressed a little with the bottle in that she seems to want it more often than before we took it away. We sweetly tell her no, only at night-night time, but then she wants to go to bed even if it's like 5PM! So, we give her milk in a sippy, and she forgets that she even wanted milk in the first place!

She's sleeping great at night and naptime. She slept for like 3 hours on Sunday and I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. I toyed with the idea of doing some chores, but decided on a short nap instead! That always seems to win out over the other options. After an hourlong snooze, I proceeded to watch the NFL playoff games and catch up on my celebrity gossip magazines. I treasure those moments!

I know this seems negative and ungrateful, but I can't help but feel like things may just be too good to be true right now. We always experience peaceful times like these, and then BAM! The other shoe drops. Teething, stomach flu, temper tantrums, sleeping issues, you name it. This time, I'm almost certain the good behavior will not last because my husband is leaving this Sunday for 13 days to Florida for training classes for work. I'll be a single mom for 13 whole days! I'm actually in denial right now that this is even going to occur, but I will try to avoid any sort of breakdown this time when reality sets in.

Latest cuteisms:

She asks for peas, pickles, supita (chicken soup) and all other kinds of inappropriate foods for breakfast every day. How do you explain to a 17-month old that they shouldn't eat olives first thing in the morning? You don't! You just give it to them.

She's taken to calling my name from the other side of the house when she is demanding my immediate attention. Not mommy, but "MONICA". My husband insists he didn't teach her this, but I sure as hell didn't. This one is not as cute. I've insisted she call me mommy or mama. She thinks it's hilarious when I "insist" she do anything.

She's recently stopped eating her crayons. I couldn't understand why such a "genius" child would do this, but she sure thought they were yummy. It's much easier to keep her entertained in a restaurant now that she loves to color the child menus at the table. However, she's now started to color on things besides paper, so coloring is only an "outside of the house" sort of an activity for now.

She's still obssessed with boobs, which I think is strange since I never nursed her, but she's taken it to a whole new level. She asks me to show her my "chi-chi's" or put lotion on my chi-chi's in front of company as if it's a party trick. I'm sure it's not the last embarrassing thing my child will do.

And last but not least, when I get home from work, she's so happy, she literally runs around in circles with her head back, claps and says "yay!" If that's not a wonderful welcome, I don't know what is! She's also begun putting her hands above her head and twirling in circles to music on her tippy toes. Do we have a future ballerina on her hands? I hate to say this, but I hope not!

Parenting Mistake #4,285

And I'm sure it won't be the last...
I caved and gave Court back the bottle. She just wasn't improving and the fact that she was scared to death of her crib really upset me. It took about a week, but now she's back to normal...2 bottles a day. I'll try again in a couple of months. I just don't think she was ready and no one was going to convince me that what I was doing was in her best interest. No one can make that decision but Casey and I. At her 18 month well-check, we are just going to straight up lie to the doctor and say she's off the bottle. I just don't want to keep having that same conversation.

So, we have our wonderful little girl back. No more temper tantrums. I'm also working on making her less clingy and dependent on me. She only wants me if I'm around. No one can change her diaper, make her sandwich, comb her hair, or play with her dolls like mommy! She doesn't even give Casey a chance. I need to be firmer about not doing everything she wants. She'll just walk up to me, put her hand out and say "hand", and I'm supposed to grab her hand and go wherever she takes me. The sad thing is, until recently, I'd just grab her hand, no questions asked, and go. That's probably not the best thing for her. Real life isn't quite so simple. We were just so happy when she learned to talk and was able to convey her needs and wants that we just sort of did whatever she said. We created a monster

In fact, that's what we've been calling her. "The Monster". People will ask us to do things and we'll be like "ok, but can we bring the monster". Most people say yes, and actually would rather see her than us, but some people without children really don't get how much our schedule has to revolve around her right now. I'm hesitant to get a babysitter too much on the weekends since I'm away from her all week. And I refuse to go somewhere until she's had her nap, because she will become an even bigger monster if she's too tired. Ahhh, such is life! What's great about naptime, though on the weekends is that mommy gets to take a nap too! I hope she naps until she's like 5!

Well, now that the monster is getting bigger by the minute, I went through her mess of a closet and cleaned out all of the clothes that no longer fit her. I am giving away 4 garbage bags full of baby clothes and the kid is not even a year and a half old. That was evidence of overindulging and overspending right in front of my face in black and white. It's so hard to not buy all those cute clothes for such a pretty little girl, but I need to set some limits. That was just ridiculous. I saved one bag of nice, expensive clothes for her little sister that may or may not ever come to fruition, as well as the outfit she came home from the hospital in, dresses she took portraits in, and any other special stuff. I hold up these tiny little things and can't believe she ever fit into them! It makes me a little sad, but I'm so enjoying this stage now, that I don't believe I really miss the baby stuff.

Latest cuteisms:
When my husband ignores her pleas for attention, she goes up to his face and says "Case!" Because that's what mommy does.
She was around a 9 month old baby boy on Saturday and when he started crying, she went up to him and said "do you want a baba, k?" It was soooo damned adorable.

She's a constant source of entertainment.

I am in bottle hell!

Well, Christmas was wonderful. Court got ridiculously spoiled by her grandparents. She got dolls, a table and chairs, a playhouse for outside, books, videos, a tea set, clothes...I have to rearrange my entire house just to find room for all her new crap! It's also time to give away some of her "baby stuff", as sadly, she's not much of a baby anymore.

When she woke up Christmas morning and saw all her stuff under the tree, her expression was priceless. I will have to upload the pics this week. We didn't wrap anything, because she's not into unwrapping presents yet, but she quickly realized that all that stuff belonged to her! She smiled, with her hair all askew and her puffy sleepy time eyes, and said "ahh! Mommy, Mira!" She didn't know what to play with first. It was wonderful and everything I hoped it would be. I can't wait until next year, when she might understand the whole Santa concept for the first time.

We let her have a couple of bottles on Christmas day, but I was dreading the upcoming week of trying to wean her from the bottle. I started feeling sick Sunday with a bad head cold and cough, so Casey took her to his brother's on Monday so that I could stay home and rest. So, she slept in the car, without needing the bottle. She doesn't ask for it at all during the day. It's just a crutch for her to relax and go to sleep at naptime and at night. So, we decided to give her a sippy cup of milk at night to help her go to sleep. While they were gone on monday, I packed away all her bottles, save for one emergency "baba", and cried the entire time at the idea that my little girl was growing up. Monday night was the first try and we made a big deal about giving her her "big girl baba". It seemed to work and Casey got her to sleep in 20 minutes, but she was pretty exhausted from playing with her cousin all day. Could it be that easy? Was it just a fluke? Sadly, yes it was.

Casey went back to work on Tuesday and I hesistantly began my week as a stay at home mom. Unfortunately, Casey had to stay out of town until Wednesday for work, but I really was all alone with this new daunting task. Spending time with her was wonderful, but she gets bored of mommy pretty quickly, so we went to my parents late in the morning to hang out. She fell asleep in the car, which sucks because it means it will be harder to get her to take a nap later in the day. But, I tried anyway, around 2 pm, to give her a nap at my parents, and she proceeded to have the biggest temper tantrum, in the history of all temper tantrums. She acted like a crazy girl for like 45 minutes, throwing herself on the ground, shaking her head back and forth and screaming "no, no, no" over and over again. My parents were looking at me with fear in their eyes because they've never seen a child so little throw such a fit. It was embarrassing, but I just left her alone because she was inconsolable. She didn't want anyone to touch her or talk to her.

So, I gave up, and my dad came home with me to keep me company while Casey was away, and she fell asleep in the car on the way home again! I bravely tried again that night, but she flipped out again, so I just left her in her crib to cry it out. She threw everything out of her crib. I knew this was occurring, because I could hear her count "1-2-3" every time she threw something. She insists on counting it off every time she throws something, whether in anger or fun. I went in there several times and everything was out of her crib. I finally caved and put a bottle in her crib and about 15 minutes later, there was silence. I went in there and she was asleep with both arms wrapped around her empty bottle. Maybe she's just not ready. This seems pretty cruel. I'm a horrible mother. All these things were running through my head. But I vowed to try again the next day

The next day proved no easier. I tried it at naptime and let her cry for 45 minutes until she fell asleep with her arms around her new doll. I didn't cave this time, but I didn't feel better about it. She was scared and started crying the minute I walked into her room with her and had to peel her away from me to put her in her crib. She's never been like that. She loved to go night-night and loved being in her room. I was ruining all that for her...for us. Was it really worth it in order to follow some arbitrary guidelines/deadlines set forth by a pediatrician who barely knows her?

That night she fell asleep in the car on the way home from my parents, and she stayed asleep as I transferred her into her crib. Thank god! A reprieve!

I stubbornly tried again the next day at naptime, and as I sat in the hallway outside her room sobbing as I listened to my little girl, crying "mommy, mommy" over agin, I said enough is enough. I brought her out and apologized to her. We cuddled on the couch and a half hour later I put her in her crib with her bottle and she fell fast asleep. I called my husband to tell him what I did and he was furious, but I didn't care.

We talked later and we decided that taking both bottles away from her cold turkey, was not right for her and we vowed to try and transition her away from the bottle at nighttime and keep her naptime bottle for awhile. Casey was successful in giving her her big girl baba again and read to her until she went to sleep bottle free. He's been able to do that pretty much ever since, though it takes a little longer. She seems to be over the bottle withdrawal, but is still a little traumatized by the crying it out I let her do last week. She's still a little scared at first when we put her down and has had a couple of tantrums, even one in the middle of the night new year's eve for 2 hours! But I'm hoping she'll get over it and start to feel safe and secure again. I regret doing what I did, and I don't feel right about it. I succumbed to the pressure of the pediatrician and other uppity mothers. Instead, I should continue to follow the cues of my daughter, which has never led me astray.

We'll keep chipping away at it, but I refuse to abide by any deadlines. She's still just a baby, no matter how grown up she acts, and I shouldn't lose sight of it. It pains me to say this, but my mother was right AGAIN! I hate that!