Only Day 5?
Only 8 more to go! I'm taking the term "one day at a time" to a whole other level.
It was going pretty well until last night. I don't know if Court is teething, was hungry, had a belly ache, or just sensed that her father isn't around, but she put me through such a bad night that I'm now pretty sure I don't want another child! Sleep is just too valuable! She's been going right down every night, basically falling over in exhaustion from playing with Papa and Auntie all week and last night she went right down also. But staying asleep has been a bit of an issue. She first woke up at 3 AM. I could hear her talking to herself pretty quietly in her room and every couple of minutes she would gently call for me. I ignored her for awhile and then realized that she wasn't going back down that easily. I knew that she didn't eat much dinner and that she was probably hungry, so going against my better judgement, I went in there to give her a bottle. Of course, she was over the moon and proceeded to suck it down pretty quickly and ask for more. I pretended I didn't hear her and just sat in the room with her for awhile to try to soothe her back to sleep. Well, a half an hour later, I gave up and gave her another half bottle. Then, she wanted me to sit down and hold her little hand through the bars of the crib. She has been asking me to do that as a source of comfort since I tried taking the bottle away. She's been doing it a lot this week since her father left town. I was more than happy to do it because it's really the sweetest thing in the world. Then, I rubbed her back and she turned to me with those big blue eyes and said "thank you". My heart just melted. By now, it was almst 4 AM, though and I was freezing and really, really tired. I told her it was time for night-night and I was in the next room and that I loved her and got up and left. I think she fell asleep shortly thereafter. However, it took me almost an hour to fall back asleep after shaking of the chill and winding back down. At 5:30, she startled me back awake screaming bloody murder, so I ran in there and she was really upset about something. I hugged her and rubbed her back and she passed back out about 2 minutes later. But, by then, I my adrenaline was freaking out. It was probably just a bad dream or something, but I thought she was hurt or something when I first heard her.
I didn't go back to sleep after that. She moaned in her sleep from 6 to 6:30 and then was back up for good at 7AM, ready to tackle the day. Mommy, on the other hand, has been a freakin' zombie all day today. It really brought me back to the newborn days and I was traumatized all over again. At least when Casey is here, we trade off on those nights where she wakes up more than once like that. I don't have the luxury of a backup for right now. It's just me, the multitasking queen! I'll probably go to bed tonight at 8:30 just in case we have a repeat performance of last night.
The thing is, she's been an absolute joy otherwise. She's cheerful in the mornings and evenings with me, and her babysitter says that she's "muy contenta" all day long. She has been napping a little bit more, but probably because she's not sleeping very well at night.
Gosh, I can't wait until my husband comes home. I promise I will appreciate him so much more when he gets back...well at least for a week after he gets back.
Latest cuteism:
I wanted to give her a bubble bath last night but I didn't have any baby bubble bath. So, I got desparate and used my Victoria's Secret "Crimson Kisses" bubble bath. It smelled like a brothel in the bathroom, and it didn't help that she kept grabbing the bubbles and provocatively rubbing them all over her body and saying "ooohhhh, mommy". It was obvious that she was copying what I do in the shower so I just kept telling her "good girl" I'm glad Casey wasn't there to see it!
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Monday, January 23, 2006
Day 2 and Counting...
My husband left yesterday for his 2 week training class in Florida.
I'm lonely already! How am I going to make it through the next 11 days? Fortunately, the Monster is going through an abnormally easy stage, so much so, I feel bad calling her "the monster". I don't know if she's going through a growth spurt or what, but she's sleeping A LOT and is eating me out of house and home. She eats ALL DAY. At least she eats healthy stuff, so I'm not worried. Her legs seem to have stretched out overnight and she's losing her baby fat. It makes me sad! But her pants fit better now that her legs aren't quite so stubby so that's a good thing. I was having trouble finding clothes that fit because the pants that fit her in the waist were always WAY too long.
I'm rambling because I just seem to be out of sorts. Of course, she woke up last night, which she never does, and was up for nearly an hour singing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star". It's almost like she senses that things are different and that her father is gone for awhile.
Thank god I have my family and sister-in-law to help out this week. It's fiscal yearend in the finance world, so I will be putting in long hours the next 2 weeks, so I have to depend on them to pick up the monster from daycare at 5 every day. This is an official shoutout to my dad and sister-in-law!
So, I will be at my parents' a lot during the weekends. Yesterday was fun. Court was playing with my nephew, who is almost 2, and it brought tears to my eyes to see them interact with each other. My daughter looks exactly like me and Bubba (just a nickname, don't worry, his parents didn't actually name him "Bubba), looks exactly like my brother, so it was surreal and took me WAY back in time. They really love each other, I think. They're always hugging and kissing, but Court is WAY bossy. The funny thing is that Bubba just kind of mellowly lets her boss him around even though he's like twice her size (hence the nickname Bubba!). She kept grabbing his hand and saying "Let's go, Bubba". Or telling to "Be careful, Bubba". or "Bubba, stop it!". He was laying on the ground watching tv and she just sat on his stomach like it was no big deal. He didn't seem to mind! We were worried that Bubba would pick on her but I think we need to worry about her! Gosh, she reminds me of me! She means business!
Cuteisms:
She sings all day long! She makes up songs while she's playing. They are usually about our dog Zoe, who she calls Sissy, or food or her dolls. It's so damned cute, I can hardly stand it. But it's not as cute in the middle of the night.
Whenever I go over a speed bump with her in the car, she tells me to "be careful, mommy". I guess she doesn't like it when I go too fast.
Lately, when she doesn't like something, she shakes her head and says "don't like it" or "don't want it". Ok, maybe this isn't as cute!
My husband left yesterday for his 2 week training class in Florida.
I'm lonely already! How am I going to make it through the next 11 days? Fortunately, the Monster is going through an abnormally easy stage, so much so, I feel bad calling her "the monster". I don't know if she's going through a growth spurt or what, but she's sleeping A LOT and is eating me out of house and home. She eats ALL DAY. At least she eats healthy stuff, so I'm not worried. Her legs seem to have stretched out overnight and she's losing her baby fat. It makes me sad! But her pants fit better now that her legs aren't quite so stubby so that's a good thing. I was having trouble finding clothes that fit because the pants that fit her in the waist were always WAY too long.
I'm rambling because I just seem to be out of sorts. Of course, she woke up last night, which she never does, and was up for nearly an hour singing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star". It's almost like she senses that things are different and that her father is gone for awhile.
Thank god I have my family and sister-in-law to help out this week. It's fiscal yearend in the finance world, so I will be putting in long hours the next 2 weeks, so I have to depend on them to pick up the monster from daycare at 5 every day. This is an official shoutout to my dad and sister-in-law!
So, I will be at my parents' a lot during the weekends. Yesterday was fun. Court was playing with my nephew, who is almost 2, and it brought tears to my eyes to see them interact with each other. My daughter looks exactly like me and Bubba (just a nickname, don't worry, his parents didn't actually name him "Bubba), looks exactly like my brother, so it was surreal and took me WAY back in time. They really love each other, I think. They're always hugging and kissing, but Court is WAY bossy. The funny thing is that Bubba just kind of mellowly lets her boss him around even though he's like twice her size (hence the nickname Bubba!). She kept grabbing his hand and saying "Let's go, Bubba". Or telling to "Be careful, Bubba". or "Bubba, stop it!". He was laying on the ground watching tv and she just sat on his stomach like it was no big deal. He didn't seem to mind! We were worried that Bubba would pick on her but I think we need to worry about her! Gosh, she reminds me of me! She means business!
Cuteisms:
She sings all day long! She makes up songs while she's playing. They are usually about our dog Zoe, who she calls Sissy, or food or her dolls. It's so damned cute, I can hardly stand it. But it's not as cute in the middle of the night.
Whenever I go over a speed bump with her in the car, she tells me to "be careful, mommy". I guess she doesn't like it when I go too fast.
Lately, when she doesn't like something, she shakes her head and says "don't like it" or "don't want it". Ok, maybe this isn't as cute!
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
The Calm Before the Storm?
Things are going surprisingly well. Court has regressed a little with the bottle in that she seems to want it more often than before we took it away. We sweetly tell her no, only at night-night time, but then she wants to go to bed even if it's like 5PM! So, we give her milk in a sippy, and she forgets that she even wanted milk in the first place!
She's sleeping great at night and naptime. She slept for like 3 hours on Sunday and I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. I toyed with the idea of doing some chores, but decided on a short nap instead! That always seems to win out over the other options. After an hourlong snooze, I proceeded to watch the NFL playoff games and catch up on my celebrity gossip magazines. I treasure those moments!
I know this seems negative and ungrateful, but I can't help but feel like things may just be too good to be true right now. We always experience peaceful times like these, and then BAM! The other shoe drops. Teething, stomach flu, temper tantrums, sleeping issues, you name it. This time, I'm almost certain the good behavior will not last because my husband is leaving this Sunday for 13 days to Florida for training classes for work. I'll be a single mom for 13 whole days! I'm actually in denial right now that this is even going to occur, but I will try to avoid any sort of breakdown this time when reality sets in.
Latest cuteisms:
She asks for peas, pickles, supita (chicken soup) and all other kinds of inappropriate foods for breakfast every day. How do you explain to a 17-month old that they shouldn't eat olives first thing in the morning? You don't! You just give it to them.
She's taken to calling my name from the other side of the house when she is demanding my immediate attention. Not mommy, but "MONICA". My husband insists he didn't teach her this, but I sure as hell didn't. This one is not as cute. I've insisted she call me mommy or mama. She thinks it's hilarious when I "insist" she do anything.
She's recently stopped eating her crayons. I couldn't understand why such a "genius" child would do this, but she sure thought they were yummy. It's much easier to keep her entertained in a restaurant now that she loves to color the child menus at the table. However, she's now started to color on things besides paper, so coloring is only an "outside of the house" sort of an activity for now.
She's still obssessed with boobs, which I think is strange since I never nursed her, but she's taken it to a whole new level. She asks me to show her my "chi-chi's" or put lotion on my chi-chi's in front of company as if it's a party trick. I'm sure it's not the last embarrassing thing my child will do.
And last but not least, when I get home from work, she's so happy, she literally runs around in circles with her head back, claps and says "yay!" If that's not a wonderful welcome, I don't know what is! She's also begun putting her hands above her head and twirling in circles to music on her tippy toes. Do we have a future ballerina on her hands? I hate to say this, but I hope not!
Things are going surprisingly well. Court has regressed a little with the bottle in that she seems to want it more often than before we took it away. We sweetly tell her no, only at night-night time, but then she wants to go to bed even if it's like 5PM! So, we give her milk in a sippy, and she forgets that she even wanted milk in the first place!
She's sleeping great at night and naptime. She slept for like 3 hours on Sunday and I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. I toyed with the idea of doing some chores, but decided on a short nap instead! That always seems to win out over the other options. After an hourlong snooze, I proceeded to watch the NFL playoff games and catch up on my celebrity gossip magazines. I treasure those moments!
I know this seems negative and ungrateful, but I can't help but feel like things may just be too good to be true right now. We always experience peaceful times like these, and then BAM! The other shoe drops. Teething, stomach flu, temper tantrums, sleeping issues, you name it. This time, I'm almost certain the good behavior will not last because my husband is leaving this Sunday for 13 days to Florida for training classes for work. I'll be a single mom for 13 whole days! I'm actually in denial right now that this is even going to occur, but I will try to avoid any sort of breakdown this time when reality sets in.
Latest cuteisms:
She asks for peas, pickles, supita (chicken soup) and all other kinds of inappropriate foods for breakfast every day. How do you explain to a 17-month old that they shouldn't eat olives first thing in the morning? You don't! You just give it to them.
She's taken to calling my name from the other side of the house when she is demanding my immediate attention. Not mommy, but "MONICA". My husband insists he didn't teach her this, but I sure as hell didn't. This one is not as cute. I've insisted she call me mommy or mama. She thinks it's hilarious when I "insist" she do anything.
She's recently stopped eating her crayons. I couldn't understand why such a "genius" child would do this, but she sure thought they were yummy. It's much easier to keep her entertained in a restaurant now that she loves to color the child menus at the table. However, she's now started to color on things besides paper, so coloring is only an "outside of the house" sort of an activity for now.
She's still obssessed with boobs, which I think is strange since I never nursed her, but she's taken it to a whole new level. She asks me to show her my "chi-chi's" or put lotion on my chi-chi's in front of company as if it's a party trick. I'm sure it's not the last embarrassing thing my child will do.
And last but not least, when I get home from work, she's so happy, she literally runs around in circles with her head back, claps and says "yay!" If that's not a wonderful welcome, I don't know what is! She's also begun putting her hands above her head and twirling in circles to music on her tippy toes. Do we have a future ballerina on her hands? I hate to say this, but I hope not!
Monday, January 09, 2006
Parenting Mistake #4,285
And I'm sure it won't be the last...
I caved and gave Court back the bottle. She just wasn't improving and the fact that she was scared to death of her crib really upset me. It took about a week, but now she's back to normal...2 bottles a day. I'll try again in a couple of months. I just don't think she was ready and no one was going to convince me that what I was doing was in her best interest. No one can make that decision but Casey and I. At her 18 month well-check, we are just going to straight up lie to the doctor and say she's off the bottle. I just don't want to keep having that same conversation.
So, we have our wonderful little girl back. No more temper tantrums. I'm also working on making her less clingy and dependent on me. She only wants me if I'm around. No one can change her diaper, make her sandwich, comb her hair, or play with her dolls like mommy! She doesn't even give Casey a chance. I need to be firmer about not doing everything she wants. She'll just walk up to me, put her hand out and say "hand", and I'm supposed to grab her hand and go wherever she takes me. The sad thing is, until recently, I'd just grab her hand, no questions asked, and go. That's probably not the best thing for her. Real life isn't quite so simple. We were just so happy when she learned to talk and was able to convey her needs and wants that we just sort of did whatever she said. We created a monster
In fact, that's what we've been calling her. "The Monster". People will ask us to do things and we'll be like "ok, but can we bring the monster". Most people say yes, and actually would rather see her than us, but some people without children really don't get how much our schedule has to revolve around her right now. I'm hesitant to get a babysitter too much on the weekends since I'm away from her all week. And I refuse to go somewhere until she's had her nap, because she will become an even bigger monster if she's too tired. Ahhh, such is life! What's great about naptime, though on the weekends is that mommy gets to take a nap too! I hope she naps until she's like 5!
Well, now that the monster is getting bigger by the minute, I went through her mess of a closet and cleaned out all of the clothes that no longer fit her. I am giving away 4 garbage bags full of baby clothes and the kid is not even a year and a half old. That was evidence of overindulging and overspending right in front of my face in black and white. It's so hard to not buy all those cute clothes for such a pretty little girl, but I need to set some limits. That was just ridiculous. I saved one bag of nice, expensive clothes for her little sister that may or may not ever come to fruition, as well as the outfit she came home from the hospital in, dresses she took portraits in, and any other special stuff. I hold up these tiny little things and can't believe she ever fit into them! It makes me a little sad, but I'm so enjoying this stage now, that I don't believe I really miss the baby stuff.
Latest cuteisms:
When my husband ignores her pleas for attention, she goes up to his face and says "Case!" Because that's what mommy does.
She was around a 9 month old baby boy on Saturday and when he started crying, she went up to him and said "do you want a baba, k?" It was soooo damned adorable.
She's a constant source of entertainment.
And I'm sure it won't be the last...
I caved and gave Court back the bottle. She just wasn't improving and the fact that she was scared to death of her crib really upset me. It took about a week, but now she's back to normal...2 bottles a day. I'll try again in a couple of months. I just don't think she was ready and no one was going to convince me that what I was doing was in her best interest. No one can make that decision but Casey and I. At her 18 month well-check, we are just going to straight up lie to the doctor and say she's off the bottle. I just don't want to keep having that same conversation.
So, we have our wonderful little girl back. No more temper tantrums. I'm also working on making her less clingy and dependent on me. She only wants me if I'm around. No one can change her diaper, make her sandwich, comb her hair, or play with her dolls like mommy! She doesn't even give Casey a chance. I need to be firmer about not doing everything she wants. She'll just walk up to me, put her hand out and say "hand", and I'm supposed to grab her hand and go wherever she takes me. The sad thing is, until recently, I'd just grab her hand, no questions asked, and go. That's probably not the best thing for her. Real life isn't quite so simple. We were just so happy when she learned to talk and was able to convey her needs and wants that we just sort of did whatever she said. We created a monster
In fact, that's what we've been calling her. "The Monster". People will ask us to do things and we'll be like "ok, but can we bring the monster". Most people say yes, and actually would rather see her than us, but some people without children really don't get how much our schedule has to revolve around her right now. I'm hesitant to get a babysitter too much on the weekends since I'm away from her all week. And I refuse to go somewhere until she's had her nap, because she will become an even bigger monster if she's too tired. Ahhh, such is life! What's great about naptime, though on the weekends is that mommy gets to take a nap too! I hope she naps until she's like 5!
Well, now that the monster is getting bigger by the minute, I went through her mess of a closet and cleaned out all of the clothes that no longer fit her. I am giving away 4 garbage bags full of baby clothes and the kid is not even a year and a half old. That was evidence of overindulging and overspending right in front of my face in black and white. It's so hard to not buy all those cute clothes for such a pretty little girl, but I need to set some limits. That was just ridiculous. I saved one bag of nice, expensive clothes for her little sister that may or may not ever come to fruition, as well as the outfit she came home from the hospital in, dresses she took portraits in, and any other special stuff. I hold up these tiny little things and can't believe she ever fit into them! It makes me a little sad, but I'm so enjoying this stage now, that I don't believe I really miss the baby stuff.
Latest cuteisms:
When my husband ignores her pleas for attention, she goes up to his face and says "Case!" Because that's what mommy does.
She was around a 9 month old baby boy on Saturday and when he started crying, she went up to him and said "do you want a baba, k?" It was soooo damned adorable.
She's a constant source of entertainment.
Monday, January 02, 2006
I am in bottle hell!
Well, Christmas was wonderful. Court got ridiculously spoiled by her grandparents. She got dolls, a table and chairs, a playhouse for outside, books, videos, a tea set, clothes...I have to rearrange my entire house just to find room for all her new crap! It's also time to give away some of her "baby stuff", as sadly, she's not much of a baby anymore.
When she woke up Christmas morning and saw all her stuff under the tree, her expression was priceless. I will have to upload the pics this week. We didn't wrap anything, because she's not into unwrapping presents yet, but she quickly realized that all that stuff belonged to her! She smiled, with her hair all askew and her puffy sleepy time eyes, and said "ahh! Mommy, Mira!" She didn't know what to play with first. It was wonderful and everything I hoped it would be. I can't wait until next year, when she might understand the whole Santa concept for the first time.
We let her have a couple of bottles on Christmas day, but I was dreading the upcoming week of trying to wean her from the bottle. I started feeling sick Sunday with a bad head cold and cough, so Casey took her to his brother's on Monday so that I could stay home and rest. So, she slept in the car, without needing the bottle. She doesn't ask for it at all during the day. It's just a crutch for her to relax and go to sleep at naptime and at night. So, we decided to give her a sippy cup of milk at night to help her go to sleep. While they were gone on monday, I packed away all her bottles, save for one emergency "baba", and cried the entire time at the idea that my little girl was growing up. Monday night was the first try and we made a big deal about giving her her "big girl baba". It seemed to work and Casey got her to sleep in 20 minutes, but she was pretty exhausted from playing with her cousin all day. Could it be that easy? Was it just a fluke? Sadly, yes it was.
Casey went back to work on Tuesday and I hesistantly began my week as a stay at home mom. Unfortunately, Casey had to stay out of town until Wednesday for work, but I really was all alone with this new daunting task. Spending time with her was wonderful, but she gets bored of mommy pretty quickly, so we went to my parents late in the morning to hang out. She fell asleep in the car, which sucks because it means it will be harder to get her to take a nap later in the day. But, I tried anyway, around 2 pm, to give her a nap at my parents, and she proceeded to have the biggest temper tantrum, in the history of all temper tantrums. She acted like a crazy girl for like 45 minutes, throwing herself on the ground, shaking her head back and forth and screaming "no, no, no" over and over again. My parents were looking at me with fear in their eyes because they've never seen a child so little throw such a fit. It was embarrassing, but I just left her alone because she was inconsolable. She didn't want anyone to touch her or talk to her.
So, I gave up, and my dad came home with me to keep me company while Casey was away, and she fell asleep in the car on the way home again! I bravely tried again that night, but she flipped out again, so I just left her in her crib to cry it out. She threw everything out of her crib. I knew this was occurring, because I could hear her count "1-2-3" every time she threw something. She insists on counting it off every time she throws something, whether in anger or fun. I went in there several times and everything was out of her crib. I finally caved and put a bottle in her crib and about 15 minutes later, there was silence. I went in there and she was asleep with both arms wrapped around her empty bottle. Maybe she's just not ready. This seems pretty cruel. I'm a horrible mother. All these things were running through my head. But I vowed to try again the next day
The next day proved no easier. I tried it at naptime and let her cry for 45 minutes until she fell asleep with her arms around her new doll. I didn't cave this time, but I didn't feel better about it. She was scared and started crying the minute I walked into her room with her and had to peel her away from me to put her in her crib. She's never been like that. She loved to go night-night and loved being in her room. I was ruining all that for her...for us. Was it really worth it in order to follow some arbitrary guidelines/deadlines set forth by a pediatrician who barely knows her?
That night she fell asleep in the car on the way home from my parents, and she stayed asleep as I transferred her into her crib. Thank god! A reprieve!
I stubbornly tried again the next day at naptime, and as I sat in the hallway outside her room sobbing as I listened to my little girl, crying "mommy, mommy" over agin, I said enough is enough. I brought her out and apologized to her. We cuddled on the couch and a half hour later I put her in her crib with her bottle and she fell fast asleep. I called my husband to tell him what I did and he was furious, but I didn't care.
We talked later and we decided that taking both bottles away from her cold turkey, was not right for her and we vowed to try and transition her away from the bottle at nighttime and keep her naptime bottle for awhile. Casey was successful in giving her her big girl baba again and read to her until she went to sleep bottle free. He's been able to do that pretty much ever since, though it takes a little longer. She seems to be over the bottle withdrawal, but is still a little traumatized by the crying it out I let her do last week. She's still a little scared at first when we put her down and has had a couple of tantrums, even one in the middle of the night new year's eve for 2 hours! But I'm hoping she'll get over it and start to feel safe and secure again. I regret doing what I did, and I don't feel right about it. I succumbed to the pressure of the pediatrician and other uppity mothers. Instead, I should continue to follow the cues of my daughter, which has never led me astray.
We'll keep chipping away at it, but I refuse to abide by any deadlines. She's still just a baby, no matter how grown up she acts, and I shouldn't lose sight of it. It pains me to say this, but my mother was right AGAIN! I hate that!
Well, Christmas was wonderful. Court got ridiculously spoiled by her grandparents. She got dolls, a table and chairs, a playhouse for outside, books, videos, a tea set, clothes...I have to rearrange my entire house just to find room for all her new crap! It's also time to give away some of her "baby stuff", as sadly, she's not much of a baby anymore.
When she woke up Christmas morning and saw all her stuff under the tree, her expression was priceless. I will have to upload the pics this week. We didn't wrap anything, because she's not into unwrapping presents yet, but she quickly realized that all that stuff belonged to her! She smiled, with her hair all askew and her puffy sleepy time eyes, and said "ahh! Mommy, Mira!" She didn't know what to play with first. It was wonderful and everything I hoped it would be. I can't wait until next year, when she might understand the whole Santa concept for the first time.
We let her have a couple of bottles on Christmas day, but I was dreading the upcoming week of trying to wean her from the bottle. I started feeling sick Sunday with a bad head cold and cough, so Casey took her to his brother's on Monday so that I could stay home and rest. So, she slept in the car, without needing the bottle. She doesn't ask for it at all during the day. It's just a crutch for her to relax and go to sleep at naptime and at night. So, we decided to give her a sippy cup of milk at night to help her go to sleep. While they were gone on monday, I packed away all her bottles, save for one emergency "baba", and cried the entire time at the idea that my little girl was growing up. Monday night was the first try and we made a big deal about giving her her "big girl baba". It seemed to work and Casey got her to sleep in 20 minutes, but she was pretty exhausted from playing with her cousin all day. Could it be that easy? Was it just a fluke? Sadly, yes it was.
Casey went back to work on Tuesday and I hesistantly began my week as a stay at home mom. Unfortunately, Casey had to stay out of town until Wednesday for work, but I really was all alone with this new daunting task. Spending time with her was wonderful, but she gets bored of mommy pretty quickly, so we went to my parents late in the morning to hang out. She fell asleep in the car, which sucks because it means it will be harder to get her to take a nap later in the day. But, I tried anyway, around 2 pm, to give her a nap at my parents, and she proceeded to have the biggest temper tantrum, in the history of all temper tantrums. She acted like a crazy girl for like 45 minutes, throwing herself on the ground, shaking her head back and forth and screaming "no, no, no" over and over again. My parents were looking at me with fear in their eyes because they've never seen a child so little throw such a fit. It was embarrassing, but I just left her alone because she was inconsolable. She didn't want anyone to touch her or talk to her.
So, I gave up, and my dad came home with me to keep me company while Casey was away, and she fell asleep in the car on the way home again! I bravely tried again that night, but she flipped out again, so I just left her in her crib to cry it out. She threw everything out of her crib. I knew this was occurring, because I could hear her count "1-2-3" every time she threw something. She insists on counting it off every time she throws something, whether in anger or fun. I went in there several times and everything was out of her crib. I finally caved and put a bottle in her crib and about 15 minutes later, there was silence. I went in there and she was asleep with both arms wrapped around her empty bottle. Maybe she's just not ready. This seems pretty cruel. I'm a horrible mother. All these things were running through my head. But I vowed to try again the next day
The next day proved no easier. I tried it at naptime and let her cry for 45 minutes until she fell asleep with her arms around her new doll. I didn't cave this time, but I didn't feel better about it. She was scared and started crying the minute I walked into her room with her and had to peel her away from me to put her in her crib. She's never been like that. She loved to go night-night and loved being in her room. I was ruining all that for her...for us. Was it really worth it in order to follow some arbitrary guidelines/deadlines set forth by a pediatrician who barely knows her?
That night she fell asleep in the car on the way home from my parents, and she stayed asleep as I transferred her into her crib. Thank god! A reprieve!
I stubbornly tried again the next day at naptime, and as I sat in the hallway outside her room sobbing as I listened to my little girl, crying "mommy, mommy" over agin, I said enough is enough. I brought her out and apologized to her. We cuddled on the couch and a half hour later I put her in her crib with her bottle and she fell fast asleep. I called my husband to tell him what I did and he was furious, but I didn't care.
We talked later and we decided that taking both bottles away from her cold turkey, was not right for her and we vowed to try and transition her away from the bottle at nighttime and keep her naptime bottle for awhile. Casey was successful in giving her her big girl baba again and read to her until she went to sleep bottle free. He's been able to do that pretty much ever since, though it takes a little longer. She seems to be over the bottle withdrawal, but is still a little traumatized by the crying it out I let her do last week. She's still a little scared at first when we put her down and has had a couple of tantrums, even one in the middle of the night new year's eve for 2 hours! But I'm hoping she'll get over it and start to feel safe and secure again. I regret doing what I did, and I don't feel right about it. I succumbed to the pressure of the pediatrician and other uppity mothers. Instead, I should continue to follow the cues of my daughter, which has never led me astray.
We'll keep chipping away at it, but I refuse to abide by any deadlines. She's still just a baby, no matter how grown up she acts, and I shouldn't lose sight of it. It pains me to say this, but my mother was right AGAIN! I hate that!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)