The Other Love of My Life

I spend so much time talking and writing about my daughter that it may seem as if she's the only one that matters in my life. The truth of the matter is that my husband is the first love of my life and I try to remember that every day. I know a lot of women who ignore their husbands when their children are born, couples who don't have anything to talk about but their kids or who don't make time for the just the two of them. I think that is just plain criminal. Sure, our child is the most important thing in our lives but not THE only thing. A good marriage is the foundation of your family. After all, what will be left after the children go off and start their own lives?

Here's a pic of us at a wedding over the weekend. I'm more in love with him today than I was when we met over 14 years ago!

More Courtneyisms

It looks like Toys R Us in my child's bedroom. I try really hard to keep it contained to her bedroom, but it inevitably overflows into every room in the house. It's a constant effort to keep things picked up. She just has too much stuff and for some strange reason we all keep buying more! So, the new rule is that if she gets a new toy, we take one that she doesn't play with anymore and put it away for our next charitable donation. I tried to explain to her about how some kids don't have any toys because they are poor. On the surface, it appears as if she has some compassion for these children, but not enough to part with any toys that are still functioning.

"Oh, mommy, I forgot about this toy, it's my favorite" Then why haven't you played with it in over a year?

"This one toy is broken. Let's give it to the poor kids!" No, baby, I think they want toys that aren't broken.

I guess I'll keep trying.

Also, my husband thinks it's great fun to teach Court about slang.
Yesterday, I asked her why she was wearing her sunglasses in the house and she said:

"Mommy, this is how I roll!"

Great! That quality time with daddy was really well spent.

She has an answer for everything

I just had to share with this quick conversation with my witty 2-year old.

Mommy: Baby, please don't get bigger
Court: But I have to mommy
Mommy: Why?
Court: For I can reach the sinks and paint my toes

Hilarity ensued...

She is just toooo much

Now that I'm off of my soap box about working motherhood, I am going to elaborate on the effervescent drama queen that is my daughter.

She's gotten a little too sassy for her own good but timeouts seem to have curbed that a bit. She knows when she says something she wasn't supposed to and immediately says sorry. I'm just in awe that I have to deal with the eyerolling and backtalking at such a young age. She says things like

"No, I'm the boss"
"I don't want you, I want my daddy"
"I don't want to go on the potty, I can do it when I get bigger"
" Mom, I said don't look at me"

Aside from the snide comments, she also walks around with this dramatic flair and is always asking me to take her picture. Here are some that she demanded I take this week.



Courtney and her "sissy"



Courtney wasting an entire box of bandaids for entertainment purposes



My princess acting like she's too cool to get her picture taken.

What am I going to do with this child? I know I should be frightened, but for now she's just cracking me up!

Chaotic musings of a working mother

All my life, I have been the classic overachiever. I was the best at everything I did, especially in school and it mostly came without a ton of effort on my part. I was ambitious in college and climbed the corporate ladder pretty quickly in my last few jobs since graduating. With more responsibility came more money, recognition, self confidence. I was driven by those things, almost to an unhealthy degree. Then little Miss Courtney Rose came into my life and turned that way of thinking completely upside down.

I became content just doing the job I have now, the job that I actually love. I worked 9-5 so I can be home with my little girl in the evenings. My "ambition" in the traditional sense of the word abandoned me. I had different ambitions and goals. Though I still took pride in my work, what was most important was to be the most wife and mother I could be. To me, that was the source of TRUE happiness and success.

I still feel that way, but recently, I've began wanting more. I didn't go to UC Berkeley and work my butt off for nothing. I'm a really good financial analyst and was starting to get bored with my work. I put in for a promotion and suddently, all those old ambitious and competitive feelings came back. It was quite a dramatic couple of weeks. It turns out that the person I was trying to replace ended up not leaving the company so the position wasn't even available. I thought I wanted that job very badly. I was obssessed with getting it. I cried at first when I found out I wouldn't be getting the promotion. Then, I went home and suddenly, I was very relieved. I didn't like myself during those 2 weeks. I was working late and cranky during the rare time when I was home with my family. Is that really what I wanted? Sure, the money would have been great, but I don't think it would have been worth it. It would have meant significantly less time with my husband and daughter, more stress, more responsibility. That's just too much sacrifice right now. My daughter is going to be grown up before I know it and I don't want to miss one second of it that I don't have to. I have to work. I want to work. But I don't want to live to work. I want to work to live.

Thank god for those unanswered prayers. I would have been miserable!

Where or where has my angel gone?
What terrible twos? Parents should fear those terrible threes, where every little thing is a battle of wills. I'm just plain worn out from it all. The last week or so has been better, but for like a month before it, my nerves were completely frazzled. For everything I need her to do, the answer is a resounding "NO!". No, she doesn't want her diaper changed, No, she doesn't want to eat anything, No, she doesn't want to brush her teeth and go to bed, NO, I DON'T WANT ANYTING, MOMMY! My husband and I thought maybe she was finally getting her last 2 molars. We needed a logical reason for her sudden personality change, but sadly, that is not the case. She's just asserting her independence every chance she gets.

Bedtime, particularly, was a disaster. We weren't getting her to sleep until almost 10 every night. We were all so worn out from the experience, we would just go to bed right after that and not spend any time together as a couple. We would dread the evening and the 2-hour long ordeal of getting her to take a bath, brush her teeth and go to sleep. Then, she skipped her nap a couple of days in a row and passed out by 8pm at night. She was a little cranky in the evening, but for the most part, was cooperative enough and passed right now. Could this be the key? Yes! No more naps! I have extremely mixed feelings about this. I'm sad, because this is a sign that she's not a baby anymore. I feel sorry for myself, because I treasure my own Sunday naps on the weekend with her. On the upside, our family life has flourished again! She's sleeping 12-13 hours a night and is a joy to be around again. We no longer have to plan everything around her 1pm nap. We have our evenings to ourselves again. And, we get to sleep in on the weekends until almost 9AM sometimes! Life feels almost normal. I'm no longer walking around like "miss crotchety pants!"

Of course, we still battle about other stuff on a daily basis, but my patience is improving and she's being a LITTLE more flexible. The battle du jour is getting her to try new foods. She's so picky right now. But, one battle at a time please or I will never conserve enough energy to win the war!